Post # 1
Careful: That e-mail from your newly engaged friend may be just the bearer of bad news. It could be to kindly not request your presence at their wedding. “You’re not invited” alerts are the latest trend for those brides and grooms who feel a need to confirm non-attendance. With some couples looking for more budget-friendly receptions (i.e., smaller guest lists) and social media serving as wedding announcements on steroids, some feel a need to let non-essential pals know they’ll be sitting this one out.
What do you think about sending these non-invites? Would you do this?
Post # 3
If someone ever sent me one of those, I would tell them to go kick rocks if you get my drift lol
Post # 4
Lord have mercy. That is so rude. I get that people need to make cuts, but think it’s poor form to send a “not invited” e-mail or card or whatever.
There are certain family members who should be notified of major events in peoples’ lives, like marriage or the birth of a child, but that’s what ANNOUNCEMENTS are for! They’re sent after the fact, not as a preemeptive “Hey, we want you to know we’re getting married but you won’t be invited!”
Post # 5
Totally a classless move.
I can imagine situations where you need to let people know they aren’t invited. That is sad, but sometimes has to be done, like if you’re having a family only wedding or a very limited guest list. You should let your closest friends know so they aren’t left wondering. BUT – it should be done in person, or at least over the phone. You need to handle the situation very gracefully.
And honestly, you can tell a few key people and then let it spread by word of mouth that you’re having a small wedding.
It’s okay to let people know that your guest lists constraints mean you won’t be able to invite them, if the person would reasonably assume they were invited. You better just do it very tactfully and kindly. People remember how you make them feel.
Post # 6
- Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL
Whoa. Beyond rude! If you don’t get an invitation then you’re not invited, get over it. I would be much more offended by receiving a “you’re not invited” notice! Then I would feel like I was specifically singled out for a non-invite. Brides don’t owe anybody an invite in 99.9% of circumstances so they shouldn’t feel the need to provide an excuse especially in the form of telling someone they aren’t invited on paper. It reminds me of grade school when girls would have birthday parties and then they would send mean notes to the girls that weren’t invited.
Post # 7
- Wedding: April 2013 - Rhode Island
I would never do this. I think it’s pretty obvious whether or not you’re invited to someone’s wedding…
Post # 8
FI told me this yesterday. I thought it was funny and I would not be doing this. He said they asked an etiquette expert and she said that is perfectly find to do. lol I would just rather not get invite. haha
Post # 9
That’s incredibly rude. You should never go out of your way to tell someone they aren’t invited. How high school. And 100% against etiquette.
Post # 10
I would send them back an invite to go F themselves. Hahaha..
While I’m doing that, I would also invite us to not be “friends” anymore 🙂
Seriously, someone who would even think of doing that is not someone I’d like to be associated with!
Post # 11
That is just horrible. Very low.
Post # 12
@echolove: Sooo rude. I think the vast majority of people would realise they are not invited when they do not get an invite…and for those few who still may assume they are invited, word of mouth works just fine.
Post # 13
Do people actually do this?
I have never gotten a non-invite nor would I ever send one. It’s offensive, IMO.
Post # 14
- Wedding: August 2013 - The Liberty House
I would never do this. The only reason I would ever even mention to someone that they aren’t invited is if they were asking me if they were, and my answer was no.
Post # 15
This got posted yesterday with a link to the article about it here.