Post # 1
I’ve posted previously and I’m back again for support Bees if you can lend it.
I broke it off with my first bf since divorce and he has just accepted an apartment which is only a 4 minute walk from my house.
I am so infuriated I don’t even know where to begin. He didn’t like this neighbourhood at all. He has joined my gym also and is basically going to be around here all the time. He said he has no issues dating here even if I am around.
Im going to explode. I have begged him to move back to where he was (and where all his friends are) but he is refusing. He also told me if I want him to move, I will have to find him a place myself. How degrading.
All I can do is ask him to not overstep another boundary. I can’t make him move to another place.
I feel like he is such a sh***y person for doing this but I can’t stop him. I will have to walk past his place just to go to yoga or the supermarket.
How would you deal deal with this? Move or just grin and bear it?
Post # 2
I think you kind of have to grin and bear it, crap as it is. You can’t really tell him where to live. Pretend he doesn’t exist.
Post # 3
Whoa. Very intrusive. I would be highly anooyed, but at the same time I would continue to live my life and if he saw me dating someone else or going to do my own thing, it would prolly bother him a whole lot more. He’s doing it to himself, really.
Maybe pay no attention to him or his games. I think eventually, you will forget about him as he is no longer of significance to you.
Post # 4
First reaction, what a piece of work this guy is. This is so creepy to me.
Second, I wonder if this could be considered stalking? Has he already been approved for living there?
Post # 5
You don’t own the area you live in. He can live there all he wants. Who gives a shit? I remember this guy – the one lying to you about hooking up with girls in Brazil and all that. By letting him has such an affect on you is a satisfaction to him.
I suggest you cut off all contact and if you see him, ignore him.
His comment was not degrading in the least bit! You want him to move? Then find him a place and pay for it because he already has one and has no incentive or need to move elsewhere.
Post # 6
Don’t move. That’s just allowing him to continue to have influence in your life.
Post # 7
Was he abusive to you? Are you fearful of him? If so, get a restraining order. If not you are just going to have to deal with it. You are letting him control your emotions, and he shouldn’t have that effect on you anymore. I agree with PP, block him from all forms of contact and move on.
I barely ever even see my next door neighbors! Hopefully you won’t even notice him!!
Post # 8
- Wedding: May 2019 - City, State
1. This is kinda creepy to me if he’s expressed dislike for the area where you live multiple times. Seems like a ploy to “run into” you more often.
2. Do not move. Do not give him power over your life anymore. Block him on everything and ignore him if you see him in public. If he tries to talk to you in public or at the gym, don’t even acknowledge it. Just keep doing whatever you were doing.
Post # 9
I think it’s a bit strange if he said he didn’t like the area. However, I think you’re getting worked up for no reason at the minute. Wait and see if there is actually a problem before looking for a solution.
I live within minutes of several friends and am a member of the same gym. I never see them unless I’ve made plans with them.
I would just cut all contact with him and hope you never see him.
Post # 10
- Wedding: September 2019 - City, State
mendingbee : I would just ignore his ass, I have no problem with ignoring someone. That is the best thing you can do because what he wants IS to annoy you, don’t let him.
I can stand right next to someone and ignore them, so it wouldn’t bother me at all that he lived 4 mins away lol
Post # 11
That you know where he’s moving, and you had a conversation about it with him, means you can’t seem to let this guy go. Why are you still talking to him? It sucks, but he is entitled to live where he wishes. Who knows? You would probably never run into him, but you can’t seem to cut off contact. Time to move on, and ignore him like any other face in the crowd, Bee.
Post # 12
Good. You’ll have a constant reminder to not let yourself accept crappy behavior anymore. Every time you see him you’ll remember how it felt to have someone you cared about treat you badly and how great it is to not be in an unhappy relationship. You’ll be able to think how petty he was to get an apt next to you, and how little you respect him. You’ll spend some time alone, being strong for yourself…even if he starts dating other people because you already KNOW what they are dealing with. Even if they seem happy you know that behind closed doors he’s still texting other girls, she’s unhappy and jealous but dealing with it, and you were strong enough to leave. He will know you were strong. He will know you CHOSE to end this bullshit. And at some point, when he’s busy with his flavor of the week, you’ll be with someone who makes your heart sing, and he will get to see that too.
And when he starts texting you, and tries flirting with you, and wants to hang out, remember he probably sent that text to 5 other girls. He sent that picture to 5 other girls. He has tried to hang out with someone else and they couldn’t so he’s willing to hang out with you. Don’t be fooled into thinking he actually cares. This guy collects women like stamps. Don’t let him add you to his harem.
Post # 13
If you have a regular time you go to the gym, I’d see if he ever shows up at that time, and if he did, then I’d switch my times. That seems to be the only real place you’d ever run into him. It’s unlikely he’ll be sitting on the street corner every time you walk to the grocery store.
Post # 14
I’m so confused. How were you dating this guy for a year if you left your husband five months ago?
Post # 15
Well it’s not your area in that you don’t get to veto newcomers, so you need to take it down a notch or three. And surely he won’t be at the gym every time you’re there, and if he is, change gyms. Unless he starts randomly showing up where you are I’d just ignore him. You may not even see him at all. If he starts stalking you, that’s another matter but it probably will not get that far.