Post # 1
My apologies because I’m sure there’s something a little bit similar, but I just have to ask…
Now, early summer of last year (2011), a month or so before he proposed, our circle of friends got close to another circle of friends (all via the gym! wouldn’t you know!)…
When we got engaged it wasn’t really a big thing for them, since we weren’t super close yet. But now, we’re BFF’s with one couple, and one of the girls might (depending on my family’s politics) be a bridesmaid. We all go out together and do all the b-day things together (we haven’t missed anyone’s since), and now are a little (okay a lot) on the fence over how to proceed…
We’re already over budget and over the count we wanted (180-200) and with an extra table of 10 (at a five-diamond hotel), that’d shank our funds (and although it doesn’t really matter, we know that they might not even bring gifts, which will just cause more political drama with my family).
The couple that we’re close to in the group suggested we just invite the rest of them after dinner – that seems alright maybe for a debut, but just seems so rude of us to do that to them on our wedding.
Advice, suggestions, comments?
Price Per Person: ~$300
Total # of “Rookies N Cream” : 7 (including the couple) + another couple that we weren’t going to invite, but because they’re part of both groups, have to (if we invite RNC)… so 9
We have not told them anything about the wedding yet (08.11) nor have we given them STD’s
Post # 3
What if you do them as a “b” list? Usually not everyone you invite shows up, and if that is the case if you have 7 or so “declines” you will be able to invite the 7, if you have 9 then you can invite the 9.
Post # 4
I’m not sure that I understand what your poll options are, exactly, haha… but I will say that my friend invited some of her friends’ siblings (so, people she essentially grew up with even though they weren’t “friends”) to the after-dinner portion of her wedding. They were totally fine with it because they knew they’d never be invited otherwise… but tread carefully because it obviously depends on your relationship and the general chill-ness of the people you’re inviting.
Post # 5
@takemyhand: B lists are terribly rude. And if you have a few people who RSVP no, then send invites to use their spaces, what happens if they change their minds?
OP, you still have about 6 months. Could you cut some corners for other things and invite these people? Maybe take a few things out of our floral bouquet, or cut an app or two out of the menu. Its a different situation, but everyone makes new friends and I’m sure there are other brides in your shoes looking for advice.
Post # 6
I can see what you mean about a B list being normally being a little rude. Afterall, it is one thing not be invited due to constraints and another to be someone’s second choice, but in this case, she is inviting people she didn’t consider inviting before. I think they would be pretty understanding if they communicated the siutation over the phone or in person.
Something like- “We didn’t know each other too well when invites were sent out, but I’ve come to really value your friendship over these past few months. I would really love it if you could still come to the wedding, but we unfortunately only planned for a certain number of people. If some spots open up, you’ll be the first one we call!”
As for the guests who RSVP “no”, be honest. They said they weren’t going to be there so we planned for them not to be there. Isn’t that what an RSVP is for?
Post # 7
@takemyhand: i agree 100% and i don’t think b-lists are rude. especially at 300 bux a plate! geez 🙂