(Closed) New guy at work, is this okay?

posted 6 years ago in Career
  • poll: How far is too far?! Please choose all that apply.
    A director addressing a female subordinate or staff member as babe/baby is NEVER ok, tell HR! : (98 votes)
    48 %
    A director addressing a female subordinate or staff member as babe/baby is okay, let it slide. : (4 votes)
    2 %
    A director addressing female staff as babe/baby AND commenting on attire, thats too much! Tell HR! : (37 votes)
    18 %
    The names, comments, and rumor, I would only tell HR based on all three, not just one or two. : (15 votes)
    7 %
    I would tell HR based on the rumor alone even if he had never done any of those things to me. : (3 votes)
    1 %
    Those are NOT valid reasons to tell HR and jeopoardize his job and ability to feed his family. : (12 votes)
    6 %
    I wouldnt want to tell HR, but I would hope someone else would. : (18 votes)
    9 %
    I would run, not walk to HR, this is all ridiculous and should not be tolerated! : (19 votes)
    9 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    3625 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    Name-calling: YES, HR should know. This is not appropriate for the workplace and yes, it is most definitely a harrassment issue, regardless of his age/position/time at company.

    Compliments: This is a grey area, IMO. I mean, if he was leering at women and saying things like, “Hey baby, nice outfit” then yes, it’s most likely sexual harrassment. However, if it a generic “I like your outfit” said in a total normal tone, then it’s probably just a guy being nice. I’ve had compliments from male coworkers about shoes and outfits, and it’s the same tone as the compliments about my phone, computer background, car, etc. This is why I’m guessing most men that are cognizant of sexual harrassment laws tend to never compliment their female counterparts.

    Rumor: This is all heresay and coupled with the other things, it seems like it would be likely true, but this isn’t confirmed. So IMO, I think HR will look into it if they have a legit source of information, but word on the street is not a legit source.

     ETA: If you or your female colleagues want to report this, there should be an 800 number posted somewhere (usually where the employment law posters are) that you can call to complain without fear of repercussion and it is anonymous (as far as I know – I’ve never actually called). This goes to a neutral 3rd party that will assess the situation and look into this, not HR of your company specifically.

    Post # 5
    Member
    4352 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    Does it feel weird when he says it to you? I know thats a tricky way to judge it, but if it bothered me I would mention something to HR about it. I have male coworkers compliment me on my outfit and I appreciate it because its not done in a sexual manner. Its just a compliment. If it was done in a way which made me uncomfortable I would tell the offender or HR, depending on the relationship. Since he is new and a superior I would probably go straight to HR.

    The babe/baby thing would bother me regardless because its not professional and I deserve to be treated like a professional in my place of work (until I stop acting like one).

    I would work hard not to judge him based on a rumor though.

    Post # 6
    Member
    11272 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: April 2012

    the name calling thing should possibly be addressed.  do the woman in the office feel uncomfortable by this?  if yes, then definitely have hr tend to the matter asap.

    Post # 7
    Member
    4520 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: September 2010

    He shouldn’t call women “babe” and he shouldn’t comment on people’s appearances, period. The rumor is irrelevant. Tell HR. 

    Post # 8
    Member
    2831 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2014

    All of that is sexual harrassment.

    Go to HR if you feel that these comments are unwelcome.

    Post # 9
    Member
    8487 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: April 2014

    I wouldnt like him calling me babe/baby. Tell him it makes you feel uncomfortable and see if he stops doing it. If he doesnt, then I would call HR.

    Unless him commenting on the girls’ appearances make you all feel uncomfortable, I wouldnt mention that. I personally dont care if someone notices my outfit or my hair, but if he’s giving off creep vibes while doing it, then I’d report it.

    Post # 10
    Member
    4755 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    Complimenting isn’t in poor taste, it’s only in poor taste if he’s got some history to boot. Becuase if HE is forbidden to say “Oh, Jessica- you’ve got a new hairdo, looks good on you!” then that means that any coworker around you can’t say that same thing. Now yeah I get that it might give you the creeper vibe but just think how not good something like that would go in terms of mass office politics.

    So I voted only the name calling is unacceptable.

    Post # 11
    Member
    3452 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    It’s inappropriate.  Even if it doesn’t bother you, it will upset someone at some point.

    Post # 13
    Member
    4520 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: September 2010

    @Happy Hopeful Bee:  I wouldn’t worry. I really doubt he will get fired over this; HR will likely just talk to him and issue him a warning. If he does it AGAIN after he’s been warned, then he deserves whatever’s coming…

    Post # 14
    Member
    2725 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: November 2011

    I would not tell on behalf of other people. They should tell HR their personal experiences, not you. I think telling HR what has happened to you is acceptable. 

    Post # 15
    Member
    3625 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    @Happy Hopeful Bee:  I would just state the facts as you’ve presented them in your conversation with HR. That you have experienced New Guy calling you to your faces “Babe” and “Baby” and that you find this to be unprofessional and uncomfortable.

    IMO, any good HR department will act on this because this is definitely inappropriate. I don’t know if they would react on the compliments on appearances thing because as other Bees noted, if he can’t say anything about your appearance, then neither can anyone else. Some Bees apparently don’t think anyone should be complimenting appearances in a professional environment, but in my personal experience, 99% of the men I encounter are perfectly nice, normal guys who just wanted to be nice and are sincere when they say “Nice shoes!”

    Your HR and legal departments will handle the situation and determine the most appropriate outcome, whether it is firing him or moving him to another department/working from home/etc.

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