Post # 1
Hi everyone! I’m another one playing the waiting game. Here’s my deal: My boyfriend and I have been together over 5 years. We had the marriage talk this past June (I kind of snapped when a good friend got engaged, but I’m glad because it got us on the same page), looked at rings in August, and he picked one out online in October. I figured he’d buy it soon after…but then there was no mention of it agin, and no indication that he was going to buy a ring anytime soon.
I was a little disappointed I wouldn’t get a ring for Christmas, and I was wondering if he was EVER going to buy it. Then this week he said something like, “I haven’t bought that ring yet.” And when I asked why, he said, “I probably should, but I want to pay for the whole thing upfront, without financing it.” (The diamond is just under 2.5carats, so the ring is not cheap.) So at least he hasn’t totally forgotten about it.
Long story, but my point is, is there anyone else that knows a Christmas or New Year’s proposal is NOT happening?
Post # 2
kitbuddy: My BF’s brother is planning on proposing on or around Christmas. He wants my BF and I to help film it. So yea, I’m not getting proposed to. And I’m thinking I might not even get proposed to until they’re married, as unfair as that is.
But I do have to say, Kudos to your man for paying for the ring up front. There is no point in financing something like an engagement ring. No point in starting out with extra debt!
Post # 3
I had thought it was a possibility since he has the ring but I’m almost positive it won’t be soon at all now. He hasn’t told his mother yet and he mentioned today to someone else he wasn’t sure when he was going to propose. He mentioned something I had said about wanting the ring paid off but he said he doubts he’ll wait that long because it’ll be about a year of payments. I was a little nutty with the ring in the house but if it’s a while away I better learn to distract myself better.
Post # 4
He’s a total finance nerd, so I get it. He creates computer programs for stock trading for FUN. I wasn’t surprised when he said he wanted to pay for it in cash.
That’s a bummer that you have to watch a proposal instead of receiving one. I sometimes feel like it will be FOREVER before I’m engaged. My college friend (the one that got engaged this summer) said to me, “We [she and her fiance] can’t wait until you get engaged. We hope you get married before us!” (they are having a long engagement and getting married in 2016.) And I was thinking, I might not even be ENGAGED by your wedding, let alone married.
I know he’s saved almost all of the $ for the ring, but he tends to drag his feet on anything non work/finance-related. I sometimes get a little jealous of the other Waiting bees on here that know their BF has at least purchased a ring.
Post # 5
I’m not. My proposal is a much longer way off than it seemed when I joined the website. I’m not feeling any sort of negativity about it, I think the fun is in the waiting and my SO and I agreed that we need to accomplish certain tasks before we wanted to get engaged. The problem is that those tasks have been delayed due to factors outside of our control, so it’s really not him I should be mad at and getting mad at the world is pointless.
From what you’ve described, it sounds like he might be able to get the ring in a few months if he’s putting away a decent chunk of money every month toward it. I think he has more than “not forgotten” about it. Spring and summertime proposals/weddings are my favorite because everything is flowering!
Post # 6
I’ve only been with my SO about a year and I’m not expecting a proposal although there were times I had hoped he would propose around our one year mark I can tell he isn’t quite there yet. Also, my brother is getting engaged right around Christmas and its been huge talk and excitement in my family so I really doubt he would be planning a proposal at the same time. I’m fine with it though. I would say yes but I don’t feel like he’s dragging his feet or anything at only the one year mark. We are older though, I’m 33 and he’s 34 so I think we’re in a good place to know what we want pretty quickly.
Post # 7
kitbuddy: I have a BF that will just go and blow money on something once he has it in his mind that he wants one. He’s done that with at least 3 or 4 big ticket items since I moved in with him over a year ago. So I’m thinking that when he DOES decide to buy a ring it will be such a freakin impulse purchase, no planning involved.
I could deal with “saving” better than nothing at all, haha!
Post # 8
Sigh…I’m in the “not expecting it” camp too! I tried not to think about it at all, really, but awhile back he kept asking me if I wanted to know what my Christmas present was…like he was SO excited about it. That’s not really like him…he has a crazy job where he works crazy hours and while he is a FANTASTIC gift-giver, he tends to be last minute about it. So his early excitement got me thinking!!
But finally he broke down and was like “I feel like I need to tell you what your Christmas present is, because I feel like you need to be a part of the decision making process!”…
…and then he told me he is getting me (well, US really) a puppy, since we will be done with long-distance after the holidays. Sooooo yeah!!! Super excited, since I have been so ready to be a puppy mom forever now (we’re mid-to-late-ish 20’s, been together forever, extremely stable etc.), but feeling a bit silly for getting my hopes up!!
I’m not too sad though! Just happy to have a great guy, and trying not to think about the whole thing too much!
Post # 9
Probably not happening for me either. The week after Thanksgiving, he was still running a few ideas by me – whether or not to purchase the diamond separate from the setting, CZ vs. diamonds, lab created diamonds vs. real, etc. Sounds a lot like preliminary research, so I imagine he hasn’t had enough time to actually find the exact ring he wants, let alone order it in time for the holidays. Though he did sound surprisingly knowledgeable about the topic, which surprised me (and encouraged me!) So it will probably happen some time next year. I’m fine with that, but I’m still not looking forward to the rude inquiries from his well-meaning relatives when we get together next week! Oh well.
Post # 10
I am hoping but not expecting… Two very different things. Unfortunately I think my hopes will be dashed come the end of the Xmas holidays. At least I won’t turn into a crying sobbing mess until all the festivities are over! Lol…
Post # 11
I am most certainly NOT expecting a proposal so soon; my bf said he will have the ring by the end of January. I am ok with this and not getting my hopes up for a proposal. Just enjoying my vacation because I’m aware that school will start again before I know it. Also, I’m spending New Year’s Eve with my family, my bf’s family and other family friends, so it will be a blast, yey!
Post # 12
I totally know the feeling.. Last Christmas eve, my SO asked me if I was absolutely sure I wanted to be with him forever.. And then proceeded to tell me not to be disappointed to see there wasn’t a gift under the tree for me (not long after a discussion where we decided he wants me to pick the ring after the proposal). Xmas morning rolls around, and I’m led into our study / nook (where he’s filming my reaction), to see some beautifully framed pictures from our recent holiday on the wall! Not quite the proposal I thought it might be!
He he followed this up by getting down on one knee in a beautiful vineyard on my birthday where he’d taken me for the weekend, gazing up at me.. Before asking me to hold his phone, so he could tie up his shoe. >.<
bless his cotton socks!
Post # 13
I thought I was going to be (I even posted in a thread that had the topic of being engaged by the holidays) but it turns out I probably won’t :/ Hes had the ring three and a half weeks (we picked it out together) we were in the city today and I hoped it would happen cause that’s our thing. We ended up seeing two other pepole get engaged, one with a flash mob. He got uncomfortable and told me it is coming he has been working on it for eight months and he doesn’t want to put a timeline on engagement. We are both 25 and have been dating for three years he has his dream job and he is the one who was all gung ho about getting engaged soon! I told him I just want to marry him and I don’t need some intricate thing. But he said he wants something to “be a surprise” So turns out I’ll probably be waiting long after I thought I would. Sorry long rant to your thread!
Post # 14
Me! I’ve known for a while that it won’t happen this Christmas/new year but that doesn’t make it any easier.
Today is ‘our’ Christmas as we’re both with our respective families for the day itself and…no ring.
I know it’s in the house, it has been since August. I’m almost beyond caring at this point…
I was #256 when I joined the waiting list, #94 last week. I can’t wait to see how low I get post holiday period! (Sarcasm)
Post # 15
- Wedding: June 2016 - Akron, OH
I’m not expecting one, I was but now that his cousin and her guy just got engaged, it kind of put our plan on the back burner. If we got engaged now it would be too close to their engagement and we don’t want to look like copy cats. Had we got engaged first, it wouldn’t have been an issue. Not even sure if I would want to get engaged around the Christmas season, I have way too much going on. He did say in a few months though, which makes me wonder if it will hapenn around Valentines day or my birthday … (: