- 6 years ago
- Wedding: June 2014
I’m new to the site and i could do with some advice.
Its about my future mother in law, more like the majority of my h2b’s family.
She is a nightmare, and seems to hate me, although h2b says she sees me as a daughter (ive seen the way she treats her daughter i want no part of that!) The thing is shortly after h2b and i started dating he moved out of his mothers and in with his brother and his wife. I was staying with them several nights a week and the never complained and h2b told me he hadnt felt that at home anywhere in such a long time. Anyway when he moved out his mother turned up where h2b works and caused a massive scene. She was swearing and yelling about how h2b ruined her life and how he’s a terrible son who physically abuses her. (H2b pushed her away from him when she tried to hit him in the head with a hammer. her arm got bruised where she fell over and had h2b arrested for assault)
So he lives at his brother’s for six months and we get engaged. We tell everyone and the only one who wasnt happy for us was his sister who only complained that her bf didnt propose, not surprisingly as they had only been together 3 weeks! H2b and his mother are getting better now and she asks us to move in with her as i didnt have anywhere to go when i finished uni for the summer. She even says we can live there rent free so we could save for the wedding. So we move in and we find that she has gotten a dog, who was being abused at the animal shelter she was at so she was very nervous and wasnt house trained. So it turns out Mil only let us move in with her so she would have free dog sitters and dog walkers. But that backfired as h2b and i refused to stay in the house all day every day and we carried on with our lives as normal.
Then mil starts pressuring us to get a dog ourselves. We liked the idea, but were hesitant at first but she finally wore us down as we got a beautiful rhodesian ridgeback/ german shepherd cross called tessa. Now what we didnt know is that mil had already picked out a dog for us and was furious that we didnt want the pedigree german shepherd with behavioural problems that she picked. Since then she has hated tessa. Everything bad in the world is Tessa’s fault somehow. I think she was abusing tessa when h2b and i werent around but i cant prove it. She would accuse tessa of messing in the living room when she knew that we had taken tessa out for the day etc. Eventually things got so bad i caught her attempting to poison tessa and we moved out the next day.
When we moved out she was vile (well vile-er if you get what i mean.) She would publicly accuse h2b of being violent towards her and show the bruises that she got from her dog jumping up her. She tried to get us to handover our wages for back-dated rent etc. She then tried to guilt us by saying she had no money for food and clothes and physically attacked me when i told her she should’nt have spent £200 on buying birds when she could have bought food to last her for 2 months and still had enough to get her some new clothes. She has over-run her house with animals (1 dog, 13 cats, 3 snakes (6-10 snake eggs) 50+ birds (with 90+eggs) a tortoise etc etc etc)
She has told h2b to drop dead on several occaisions admitted that she knew her former partner was psychologically abusing her children and did nothing. She blames h2b for her former partner leaving her, refers to her son as the freak! her daughter she refers to as the whore and she treats her grandkids so badly they’ve started referring to her as nana hulk! (this was my 4 year old niece btw she is awesome and completely right lol) she has said that the thought of h2b and i getting married makes her sick and she hopes that we never have an children cuz they will be freaks too.
Now i have alot of respect for my future brother in law he gave h2b and i a place to stay when we had nowhere to go (he now has unlimited babysitting service forever!) he often intervenes with mil and gets her so flustered she forgets what she was ranting on about and he always knows just what to say to make us laugh. But since h2b and i have moved away he has been a bit …. im not sure how to put it clingy? controlling? First it started out as him complaining that we dont get to see him that often, we try to see him every opportunity we get. Then one day he calls us up to see if we wanted to go to the national raf museum the next day. Now normally this wouldnt have been a problem but he chose the weekend that my mom was away and i had taken over caring for my nana who is housebound. H2b explained why we couldnt go his brother turned round and said “so because SHE is in a bad mood you cannot spend time with your family!” WTF!!!! he makes out like im some controlling shrew nevermind the fact that he heard me tell h2b to go without me!
Last week he calls us up to shout at us for still being in bed! erm hello? we dont have any kids, we hadnt seen each other in three weeks, surely we were entitled to some alone time! Now he is moaning at us because we never got chance to see our nephew on his birthday. I was on the other side of the country and h2b started work just as the birthday boy finished school and didnt finish until 10pm way past bb’s bedtime! So we are supposed to be taking him to the cinema today after h2b finishes work but bil has rearranged everything so that h2b cant make it and had a huge argument with h2b (while at work) about him letting me dictate when he can see his family! Seriously im going to tell his wife and let her rip him to shreds shes had words with him about leaving h2b alone for a bit. But this is the guy who when he heard we were planning a romantic night in bombarded us with calls and text messages because his wife was pregnant and wouldnt let him near her!
I am really really sorry about the length of this i guess i just needed to vent. If you managed to read all that any advise on how to deal with them would be apprieciated.