- 8 years ago
- Wedding: February 2010
New to boards, was searching around and found the boards and glad I did.
I’m at the wits end with my hubby, he is great guy, smart, well educated, good job, has his head on. When we were dating he confided in me that he had money issues when he was in college because he had no money but he was having a lot of issues at home with his family because they had no money, both his mom and did were sick, and his mom was a big spender so he took on THEIR financial burden, which racked him into thousands of dollars of debt his 4 years in college, when he was done with school he had about $30,000 in CC, his credit was shot which then just made his APR’s go up.
After college he was able to get a good side job in construction that made him a nice junk of money to pay off more than half of the debt. I know it wasn’t easy for him as he never asked for help, but instead of saying no he always gives (his sister borrowed $10,000 of that money for a down payment for her house and he never got it back nor did he ever ask for it back- so it’s his fault) all the while his roommate wasn’t paying his part of the rent, and ended up owing him $5,000, he would ask for that but never got it. He is very passive with money it seems. When we met, he explained all this to me, he had about $15,000 still left, so I said he needs to work out a plan on paying this off. I encouraged him to talk to his family (maybe they could help out now since he helped them out in the past) None of them did, not his Mom, Father, or sister. So I helped him with a budget plan, he was able to pay off another $7,000 of it and I was proud of him. We then get engaged.
We got married in Feb, We were always splitting all our bills down the middle, he makes much more than me but with but he still has $8,000 to go on his CC that I figured he can take the rest of that money and throw it into his CC. I decieded to do a budget again for us now as I feel like we should be starting to save more, so we reviewed all our bills again. Because his APR’s are SO high his payments are high and he makes just the min payments, so it really annoyed me that he was just making the min payments so we agreed that from this point on I would manage ALL the bills until his were paid off because he wasn’t doing too good of a job managing it.
Well I log in the other day to pay the bills, and I find in the last 6 months he has 3 late payments, and a few past dues. I of course FLIP out, I am so beyond mad at him, he in turn gets upset with me that saying he isn’t perfect and what’s the big deal if he made a mistake once, I was like it wasn’t 1 time, and he just doesn’t understand WHY I am angry. I feel like I can’t trust him, he makes good money, there is no excuse for this, and I can honestly say it’s not like he is off spending it on going out or stuff like that, his money just goes. I feel like I’m dealing with a kid and then for him to be angry with me because I am so mad! He then turns the finger on me and says that I buy cloths, Yah, because I pay OUR bills and still can have money left over, when I make much less than him! We had plans to hangout with HIS friends tomorrow, and they all want to do an ATV day, and it cost $200 a person, that isn’t in our budget, and his friends are emailing ME to finalize everything and I am mortified to say, yeah we can’t afford it when really, we def should be able to afford that. Sorry for the long winded rant, I am just so angry with him right now, we always look forward to our Fridays and I honestly don’t even want to see him right now, I feel so let down and disappointed.