- 8 years ago
New here! I’m 23 and living with my boyfriend. We have been together about 2 and a half years and living together for 3 months. We started talking about marriage about 8 months into our relationship and decided then that we would definitely move in together when we were each financially stable, then get engaged when that happened. Well, it hasn’t happened yet, and though I feel like I’ve been waiting since that initial conversation, I have been REALLY waiting ever since he got his new job (about 5 months) and then very much waiting since we moved in. Over the holidays, I could tell it wasn’t coming and I got really upset. I said I thought it would be 2010 that we would be getting engaged. He said don’t worry, that it would definitely be 2011. I just hope it is sooner than later. We already decided that we want to get married in the summer of 2012, and I always said that I wanted to be engaged for at least a year and a half before marriage… so you do the math! My parents call us “engaged to be engaged” because we already have this planned. I definitely want a moissanite ring and I left him a little “hint” in the bookmarks on his computer 🙂 It’s kind of frustrating because people ask about us getting married all the time, and I want to start planning and share our excitement with everyone… but it’s just not official. We talk about our wedding (and more importantly, marriage and our life together) all the time, but all I really want is to be able to call him my family and know that we are committed to each other, by law and religion and all that good stuff. Sometimes I think about how happy I would be if we just eloped or quickly got married at the little church in our neighborhood, and that was that. I always dreamed of my wedding, but I didn’t know that when I found the right guy, none of that would matter anymore! Of course, he wants me to experience the whole thing, as does he, so if we can afford it, we’ll do it. At this point I don’t really know what he’s waiting for, but it’s starting to get frustrating/upsetting. I kind of started to plan, but I don’t know how far I can go or what I can even do at this point! Any suggestions of how to get through this waiting period, and what I can do to prepare or plan at this point by myself?
I have to say, the thing that has most thrown me off is that Christmas morning, I opened up his gift, and it was a beautiful ring… but not an engagement ring! It was a sterling silver ring with my birthstone. It is beautiful, but I was really confused. I really thought that at this point if I got a ring from him, it would be THE ring. I asked him a few times what it meant, and he said that it was just something that I thought I would like. I told him that I thought it was a “you’re-not-getting-another-ring-for-awhile-so-enjoy-this” ring. He said that wasn’t true, and I love him for getting me something he thought I would like, but I just don’t understand this boy’s thought process here!