(Closed) new here. please tell me you have had this experience too!

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 17
Member
578 posts
Busy bee

prettyemme:  You are going to have a hard time finding anyone – let alone your future-in-laws – that understands a 21 year old marrying a 60 year old.  You said above that it was “just my parents and myself” and that you “spoke with my parents” but that you have only dated “for over a year”. Did your parents pass away just at the start of your relationship with this man? You were already talking about marriage? 

If there is any chance that this is a real post, I would recommend looking for a May/December forum to ask your questions to.

Post # 19
Member
1141 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

RunnerBride13:  Oh, but it’s her first wedding so of course he’ll go for all the fanfare! 

Post # 19
Member
770 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

My dad remarried for the 3rd time recently, and I didn’t even bother to meet her because I figured they’d divorce soon enough anyway. I was right. 

My point is that their problem might not even be with you. It sucks, but when you marry someone, you marry into their family dynamic. 

Post # 23
Member
578 posts
Busy bee

prettyemme:  While it’s not impossible that everyone in your household got cancer at the same time (although if you did – I’d contact a local environmental agency for testing asap), your story is certainly… unusual.

If your parents were dying and you had cancer when you decided to get married to this incredibly paternal figure, I would seriously rethink your decision. Major life trauma – like losing parents and getting cancer yourself – causes people to make incredibly bad decisions. If you seriously lost your parents this year and had – and beat – cancer. Wait. Wait a very, very long time before you actually decide to marry anyone. This is an absurd decision to make while your life is in such flux. If I were his family, I would think both of you were getting married for entirely the wrong reasons.

Post # 26
Member
837 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

prettyemme:  You said your parents died before you were 20. But you keep mentioning how you spoke to your parents (even though you’ve only been with this guy a year-ish) and you keep saying people sound like your mother, and how you have a small family, just you and your parents… Not sure I believe anything you say. I call troll.

Post # 27
Member
578 posts
Busy bee

prettyemme:  It’s pretty standard advice in grief counselling – when dealing with the loss of a loved one or the loss of your own health – to not make any major life decisions for a few years. If your church isn’t offering counselling that has even mentioned that before, I would seriously recommend looking for an outside group. You are suffering through THREE major very recent losses right now. You should not be making any major, life altering, decisions.

Post # 28
Member
1876 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

I have to ask – why get married when you’re still so young? You love him, he loves you, why rush it? Why not wait a few years so you can grow a bit (maybe travel, get a few degrees under your belt, etc)?

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