- 6 years ago
- Wedding: May 2013
Sorry if I’m beating a dead horse here, as I googled “The Knot Community Crazy” and saw more than a fair share of posters here bringing this up, but (I have terrible insomnia and) I really just need a place to rant about this:
I can’t believe how flat out psychotic some of the posters on The Knot’s community boards are. I went to ask a question I had about a dilemma with my bridal party, and was immediately treated with negativity and aggressiveness. I was accused of only caring about my wedding, because I had the audacity to ask a question about my wedding on a wedding board (makes total and perfect sense…). When I told them to ignore my post if they found my question annoying (and let posters who were genuinely interested in helping or discussing the topic with me) I had the most ridiculous barrage of long term trolls (people who’ve been posting on the site for 5+ years) rip into me because I wasn’t taking their “advice” (a.k.a. reddit worthy flamewarring) as the end all and be all of wedding related knowledge. All I could do was crack up at my laptop, as I pictured these grown women rabidly patrolling the site seriously expecting the “noobs” to look at them with awe as great wedding planners. I can just picture one of them going to apply for a job as a wedding planner, “What? My credentials? Well, I planned my own wedding, and then spent 5 years on a chat board for wedding planning…” I can’t even fathom how out of touch and conceited someone would need to be to honestly think your “advice” is sooo valuable that you need to keep trolling a wedding board to “help” all the poor, misguided, and unlearned “noobs”.
I also couldn’t believe how agressive they were with anyone that had less than 200 posts under their belt. I saw so many girls asking for help that were just treated like sh** for having the nerve to post on their board. There’s a lot of the my board mentallity, which is really funny considering how much they try to tear down anyone who views the wedding they’re pouring thousands of their money into as their wedding. And god forbid anyone has the nerve to call them out on it (“no we don’t”, “I need quotes”, “oh no you didn’t quote me b****, just wait ’til my personal army gets here because it is on”)…
I had been lurking for awhile, and I cannot tell you how many times I saw the posters there straight up contradict themselves depending on who they were responding to. One of the most glaring examples I saw there was this common echo of “you need to be prepared to hear things you don’t agree with” and “you need to be ok with differing opinions”, only to have a set of “wedding ideals” (the long term posters had agreed upon) that if anyone disagreed with they would actively and agressively try to force them off the site (ex: Anyone who dared to tell a poster to do what they wanted because the wedding they were paying for was about them was followed around the site and attacked on all their other posts, sometimes being flat out told that they weren’t welcome there). There’s this flat out desparation to make sure that all the posters agree with the “pre-decided wedding codes” to the point it’s almost cultish… but silly me thinking that discussion communities benefit from a variety of experiences and opinions.
It was all just mind boggling. I ended blocking a good portion of the long term posters I encountered, because these women seemed to be genuinely mentally unstable. I actually felt sorry for several of them, because if you looked through the board it was obvious that the majority of their days (for the last several years) had been spent posting on those boards. Your life/job/whatever has to be pretty sad that you would forsake such a large portion of the time you ought be dedicating towards it to troll a wedding board to bully innocent posters looking for advice and emotional support as they prepared for one of the most stressful events of their lives. But regardless of the degree I pity them, I honestly can’t forgive a grown woman acting like a high school bully because someone had the nerve to ask for someone else’s advice/help/emotional support.
I’m sorry if any of that sounded harsh, like I said, I needed to rant.
**huff** **puff** **huff** **end rant**