(Closed) new here, sister stole my proposal

posted 6 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
1664 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

Why can’t he propose?  I’m confused.

Post # 4
3667 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

First of all, welcome to the Bee!

Second of all, unless your sister got your SO to propose to her, she didn’t steal your proposal. This was her proposal, which most likely she had no control over, with her SO. There’s no reason your engagement has to be postponed because of it. Try to be happy for her and look at it as a time to help each other through the wedding planning!

Post # 5
2009 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

I’m sorry.  

That doesn’t sound stolen to me.  He had no ring and he didnt ask.

Be happy for her and hope she will be happy when your time actually comes!

Post # 6
1293 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

I agree, there is no reason for your SO not to propose. the engagement is between you and him right? 

It doesnt matter what others are doing, even family, as long as the timing and place is right then I don’t see why it needs to be postponed. 

It sounds like your sisters Fiance didn’t even know your SO’s plans… it just doesn’t sound stolen to me either, as it doesn’t seem on purpose or with bad intent 

Post # 7
1548 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

There’s nothing to steal, its just unfortunate timing. There’s no reason your boyfriend can’t still propose, and I’m sure he will when he feels the time right. Just be happy for your sister.

Post # 8
13096 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2010

First off – Welcome!

Secondly, I agree with Regina Phalange‘s comment below:

“This was her proposal, which most likely she had no control over, with her SO. There’s no reason your engagement has to be postponed because of it.”

Try to be happy for your sister and her fiance and your SO will hopefully propose to you soon enough.

Post # 9
9954 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

First off, Welcome to WBee.

As the others have said, one cannot STEAL a Proposal, unless they steal the ring and the boyfriend (fiance) as well.

What has happened to you is simply that your Sister has gotten “there” first (as in engaged)

Even if her Proposal looks 100% like the one your Boyfriend or Best Friend had planned for you, it is ALL hers, not yours (and if it was 100% identical to what your Boyfriend or Best Friend had planned, then he, or you, should not have shared that info with others before it actually happened)

I don’t get where your Boyfriend or Best Friend is now saying he was about to propose, and now he can’t (sounds like and excuse to me).

Of course he can propose any time, he just has to do it.  You really need to find out what is going on there… IF he had wanted to do it a certain way, then he shuld have just done it.  Reflecting on it now, regrets or excuses just don’t make sense.

This is YOUR LIVES, if you want to get engaged do so.

— — —

PS… As a bit of an Etiquette Snob, I am going to give you a tip here that will ensure that things are smoothed out / run better between you and your sister.  As she got engaged first, you really should find out what her and her Fiance’s plans are for setting a Wedding Date.  It would be gracious to allow them to choose a date first, and to keep as a minimum a 3 or 4 month allowance between the two Weddings (ie she picks Summer 2013, you can marry Fall 2013 or beyond).  There are real benefits to this… besides “keeping the peace” it means that both of you will see a larger amount of relatives able to make both weddings… because for many a wedding is a major expense, and not something they budget for on a regular basis (Pre-Wedding Festivities – Clothing / Bridal Party – Wedding Presents – Transport & Hotels for those coming in from Out of Town etc).  Wedding Planning is stressful enough, if you have your sister on-side it will make the time leading up go better for both of you… you should find reasons to celebrate this time in your lives together (it is great to have someone to share Wedding Happiness with), not get hung up on petty differences etc.


Post # 11
10366 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2010

Getting engaged isn’t a race. If being committed is about “being first”, maybe you should reevaluate why you want to be married.

Post # 12
7606 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

I’m pretty sure your family can handle more than one piece of good news in the same month.  🙂  I don’t really get what the issue is?  If he is really planning to propose, he will.

Post # 13
9139 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL

@axeyourmakeupkit:  “That doesn’t sound stolen to me.  He had no ring and he didnt ask.”

Post # 14
1188 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

I can understand wanting to let your sister have “her time” to shine but I think you should get engaged when you feel it’s right. You can’t base your life on events in other people’s lives. Your SO will propose when he’s ready. 

Post # 15
1141 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

Get engaged if you want to get engaged. If you have a good relationship with your sister suggest to your bf that he talk to her privately to see how she feels about the whole thing. That should smooth bumps in the road and give your bf the go ahead to surprise you.

Post # 16
94 posts
Worker bee

No reason not to get engaged. These things happen. Your SO just needs to get creative 😛

Side note:

This has actually happened twice to my Dad. His sister announced her engagement after he already knew he was getting engaged (He was waiting for the ring to come in). He waited two weeks then proposed to my Mom anyway. My Aunt had a year long engagement and my parents were only engaged for four months so it wasn’t really that big a deal.

The same Aunt also announced her first pregnancy while my parents knew that they were pregnant. Once again, they just sat on their news for a couple more weeks then they announced it. My cousin was born two weeks before my older sister 😛

Other people continue to get engaged, married and make babies while we go through the same transitions ourselves. Sometimes it can be cool to go through these big events with someone else.

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