Post # 1
So, I’m having difficulties making friends and finding things Not Wedding Related to do. I used to do bellydance and bollywood dance. I had a lot of fun doing it, but I never really made any friends. It actually got kind of catty and “political” for lack of a better term and I backed out of it so I didn’t have to deal with the drama.
I’m not a fan of soccer or baseball or anything like that and I think that’s my big problem. I can’t seem to find an alternative. There’s a sports league here in Cincinnati, but the only “non” sport on the league is euchre…and that sounds about as fun as watching paint dry (no offense to euchre players! it’s just not for me…I tried!).
So, how do you bees make friends?
What are your hobbies that get you socializing?
Any help, suggestions, reality checks or otherwise would be appreciated!
Post # 3
Try meetup.com there’s all sorts of things, you just have to find a group in your area.
Post # 4
I’m terrible at socializing, so please don’t take my experience as a bad omen. I haven’t really made friends out here, but I also live in the boonies with the nearest town large enough for even a WalMart being an hour in either direction.
BUT, if there are any causes that you care about, you could try volunteering at an animal shelter or a hospital or even at a school. Granted, you need to care about whatever you choose in the first place, but those are some places to start.
Also, I’d recommend going out with you SO and meeting people together.
You could take up painting. Maybe you could take like an art class and you could meet people there?
I hope you figure it out! Good luck!
Post # 5
If you were so into dancing, why not take a Zumba or aerobic dance class? There are tons of people to meet there. You’d be great at it with your background, but it wouldn’t have the competitive or “catty” nature of what you used to do. Plus, working out always makes me feel great!
Post # 6
I was once in a similar situation. Ideas: get more involved in your church (if you are involved in one), volunteer for something, take a class at a communitiy college, try to get to know your co-workers better, etc.
Post # 7
I’m looking into meetup.com right now. They have a book club that could be fun and a couple of other things to check out. I’ll definitely try that out. I’ve done some meetups before, but it turned out to be more of an avenue for singles than what I had hoped.
I tried volunteering a couple of times, but people just looked at me like I was crazy since I wasn’t part of the “normal” group of volunteers. I was mostly just overworked and ignored… Kind of depressing really.
I actually have been to a couple of zumba classes. I might go back a couple more times or try out a boot camp class, but so far I haven’t had much more than a hello from the people I’ve met there. Ironically, a lot of the instructors (which include some old dance “friends”) also know the bellydance crowd, so I have to be careful where I go to avoid the drama.
I looked into taking cooking classes and art classes, but people keep trying to talk me out of it. They either tell me I’ll be hanging with a 40+ crowd or kids under 22. I’ll probably end up signing up soon anyway.
Coworkers are a bust. I’m the only one under 35 in my office (I’m 28). AND the youngest female has one kid close to graduating high school… that’s a little too different of a lifestyle for me to expect us to be great friends.
I don’t go to church. It’s just not for me.
I don’t know. I’ve been battling this for several years now and I’m just coming up empty handed. The only luck I had was with a Young Professionals group, but that’s dissolved and I only have contact with one person from it and she’s a little flakey to say the least.
I just need to get out of this funk! Wedding planning has made me realize how few friends I really have and it’s really getting to me – not to mention that I’ll only have 4 family members there… I have an invite list of 17 including guests and family. My Fiance has 115+… It just makes me feel pathetic. The few friends I’m inviting are even flaking on me and are going to “decide later” if they think they’ll make it. Oh, and don’t get me started on my bridesmaids…. if I end up having 1 out of 4 there, I’m going to be impressed. I have only talked to one of them regularly throughout planning (like once every two weeks-ish) the other’s I hear from once every 2-6 months anymore. It’s a joke.
Anyway, sorry to sound like such a debbie downer. I’m just disappointed in the people around me right now and really wanted to have someone at the wedding that I felt was truly a friend. I’ll get over it. I’m just in a serious funk about my whole situation. Thanks for suggestions!
Post # 8
@staceynrick: I wish you lived around me…I have the exact same problem. We could hang out! And I live in a small town, so there’s only so much to do around here. Boo! 🙁
Post # 9
Oh geez. I’m so sorry. Reading your last response makes me feel really bad for you. I agree with jennylynn13, I’d be your friend if we were close, although I’m kind of jaded after I moved and had no one to talk to, so I don’t trust people and its made me a bad friend.
I think Facebook and sites like it are a huge problem because nobody seems to want to talk on the phone or meet up face to face unless you’re going out to get drunk anymore (at least among my acquaintances). Its too easy to write a wall post and call it good.
To be honest, I am waiting until I have a kid and I’m hoping there will be mommy groups that I can join. Also. there’s nothing wrong with having friends outside of your generation. In fact, I’d say go ahead and get a 40 year old friend AND a 22 year old friend. You might expand your experiences and make even more friends that way!
PS: I hope the meetup.com thing works for you!