(Closed) New Home Fund in Lieu of Registry – Cute or Tacky?

posted 2 years ago in Gifts and Registries
  • poll: Thoughts on a Newlywed fund instead of a typical gift registry?

    I think it's okay, this is 2019 for Pete's sake!

    Ew! So tacky!

  • Post # 2
    Member
    8360 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper

    I think honeyfund etc are genius business ideas, but horrible for both gift givers and receivers. They take a % of the gifts, which is shitty, and its also asking for cash which is shitty. I do consider them tacky. We didn’t have a registry. When people asked where we were registered/what we wanted as a gift we just said that we weren’t registered, but were saving up for XYZ. We got 99% cash gifts (and no cut to a random company!) and only 3 physical gifts. 

    Post # 3
    Member
    2451 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: August 2018

    View original reply
    crashbee :  It seems like the overwhelming opinion on the bee is that this type of thing is tacky. I’ve been to a few weddings where the couple did a honeyfund, or something along those lines and it didn’t bother me.

    Just be aware that some people really like to give physical gifts rather than money, so without a registry of items to choose from they might pick something out on their own that you have no use for.

     ETA like PP, we did not create a registry or any type of “fund” and got mostly cash.

    Post # 4
    Member
    1517 posts
    Bumble bee

    You’re probably going to get most bees on here telling you under no circumstances do you ask for money, but other than saying “it’s tacky” there are no concrete reasons why it’s more tacky than asking for gifts. I personally find it much easier to gift money than go out and buy presents, so it’s a non issue to me. I’ve been to weddings where they have politely asked for money rather than presents because they also have a home and have lived together for years and no one has batted an eyelid. I have to say this is the UK though and asking for gift vouchers or money instead of presents is common in a variety of circumstances. 

    Post # 5
    Member
    1260 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2017

    You don’t need a special fund to ask people for money (especially if it takes off a percentage)- if you don’t register anywhere you could just mention when people ask that you’re not registered anywhere but have been saving up for a house. People know how to put cash or a check in a card and then you don’t have to deal with fees from those websites. 

    Post # 6
    Member
    1224 posts
    Bumble bee

    I don’t really have a problem with honey funds, as it’s not strange for me to gift people experiences (I do this often for Christmas and birthday gifts), but you want me to help you buy a HOUSE??? That’s going overboard to me. I wouldn’t use the word “tacky” but “insulting.” 

    Please understand that I don’t feel insulted by you (obviously, since you’re not asking ME for money!), but it’s absolutely possible that some people will think this is gross and for good reason. Don’t ask people to help you purchase a home, Bee. 

    Post # 7
    Member
    1191 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2019

    Just tell people that you’re not registered anywhere.  People will give you $

    Post # 8
    Member
    2451 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: August 2018

    View original reply
    ariesscientist :  I agree with you, how is asking for cash any tackier than asking for a gift? It’s ok to create a registry asking for items to fill your house but not OK to ask for cash to help pay for a house? seems all the same to me. Plus, with a registry you’ll know how much someone is spending so it’s not a whole lot different than just cutting a check. 

    Post # 9
    Member
    1260 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2017

    View original reply
    futuremrs2020 :  I think the difference (to me) is that a registry is a list of items a couple is collecting for themselves and fits their tastes and needs. You can get duplicate toasters, but you can’t really get duplicate cash…or cash that doesn’t fit with your existing decor, etc. 

    Post # 10
    Member
    9124 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper

    View original reply
    futuremrs2020 :  you might know what the items are worth, but not necessarily what the people are spending. Back when I was young and broke I’d buy physical gifts with coupons and gift cards. Sometimes I’d get a gift card to a store I didn’t like and save it for this purpose, but I’d also cash in credit card rewards when they had sales on giftcards to get a better return on the points. So I could easily get someone a $50 platter with zero out of pocket, but I might not have had $50 to cut a check. 

    Post # 11
    Member
    9841 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: August 2012

    People know you want money. 

    We really only got physical gifts for the bridal shower.

    Post # 12
    Member
    881 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2015

    Honeyfunds are common among my circle of friends/family. In my opinion, the fun part about them is that you get to see a glimpse of the honeymoon plans: when the honey fund website is well-done, there are photos of places the couple is planning to travel to on the honeymoon, and gift-givers can choose specific and personalized fun travel items (like “$60 for museum pass for Paris”, ” $30 for bottle of wine in Buenos Aires”, etc).

    On the other hand, if it’s just a generic funding website with no specific details about what the money is for, or if the money is for something huge like buying a home, I personally think it is a little lame.

    Post # 13
    Member
    1517 posts
    Bumble bee

    View original reply
    futuremrs2020 :  Exactly, it makes no sense to me that listing a bunch of items you want people to buy you is apparently less tacky than saying you can contribute however much you like (if you like) towards x, y or z. You’re still spending money and the couple are still suggesting what you spend the money on. 

    Post # 14
    Member
    1517 posts
    Bumble bee

    View original reply
    bayoubee : I don’t understand how that means asking for money is more tacky? Why would you want the risk of duplicate gifts when you could just give someone money they could put to good use for a honeymoon or home renovation? That’s a better use to me than buying someone a toaster that someone else has decided to buy them too. 

    The topic ‘New Home Fund in Lieu of Registry – Cute or Tacky?’ is closed to new replies.

    Find Amazing Vendors