Post # 76
bee, I’m so sorry you are going through this. However your hubs sounds like his true personality is coming out…and it is abusive. If he won’t say those things to his mother he shouldn’t say it to you. The next time he threatens divorce, you should consider separation. This isn’t healthy or normal and could escalate to physical violance. Leven if he has some mental disorder like being bipolar, he owes it to you or himself to get treatment to not hurt you…and his words are clearly hurting you.
If I were you, I’d have an escape plan in the works (I’m a big fan of backups). Please ask your therapist for more info on the cycle and escalation of abuse. He sounds like he is causing some of your anxiety too.
Post # 77
Get. Out. Now.
Please don’t wait until you have kids. I know you just got married but sometimes red flags are waived. This is a biggie.
Post # 78
I see a therapist separately (I started to during the last few months of wedding planning because I was having a lot of anxiety) and want us to see and marriage counselor too. He refuses and says he doesn’t think it would be productive because I wouldn’t listen to him and would just be yelling at him.”
He knows the therapist would call him out on his abusive behavior. That’s why he doesn’t want to go.