(Closed) New information has come to light and I couldn’t be any more confused.

posted 10 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
752 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

Well my DH had my engagement ring for 10 months and he did a great job of not giving it away (until someone else did). We had looked at rings in March of 10′, he went back the next day and bought the one I loved, and kept it a secret until December of last year. We even went to look at rings again in september or something, and he already had one! It really threw me off though, so maybe thats what your SO is doing? I wouldn’t stress too much, I know its easier said than done but I bugged DH FOREVER about a ring and I wish I wouldn’t have because everything didn’t go as planned. Hang in there, you never know he could be out right now buying you a ring, maybe he already has it, maybe hes throwing you off…or maybe he has been paying on it for a while but is just now able to pick it up. It could be anything, good luck to you!!

Post # 4
287 posts
Helper bee

“Well, you’re not getting it.”  My heart sank. I couldn’t help but remind him that he previously promised a proposal this year.  I told him that it really hurt that it seems he’s going back on his word. He had nothing to say.

Ugh!  I would be sooo pissed!!!  You have every right to be angry, and please scratch that “I should be happy he’s thinking about it, blah blah blah” talk.  You know that you aren’t happy, so forget about how you “should” feel.  Your feelings are completely valid.

I think a good, non-confronational, non-emotional talk is in the works.  Try to find out if anything is holding him back from not proposing (aka breaking his promise).  You deserve to know the truth!  Did you guys just “drop” the subject?  That never really works in the long run.  If you two are planning a marriage, you both need to be able to sit down and talk about these big things.  

I have been in your position before.  My son’s dad backed out of our wedding 5 weeks before our date and said he didn’t remember proposing to me.  That hurt so much I immediately broke up with him.  It SUCKS to know you are not on the same page with the person you love.

Keep us updated!


@Bao: That may be true, but there’s no excuse carrying it out the way he did.  He was rude to her about it.  He could have smiled and been secretive in a cute way to throw her off.  People don’t act like asses when they want to surprise someone.

Post # 5
1181 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I’m going to play devil’s advocate here.  I know, I know…it’s wrong but it seems like everyone keeps bringing up the engagement thing around your and well, maybe it is getting on his nerves.  If he is like my bf, they want to do things at their own pace and own time and not be reminded every step of the way of what they should be doing.  And, all that pressure just gets to a person sometimes.  *shrugs*  //  It is tough but try to focus on the upcoming holidays!  🙂  You know your boyfriend loves you and will propose so try not to worry about it.  

Post # 6
219 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

That is super confusing!

My advice to you would be to keep quiet about it until after Christmas, just in case he is planning to surprise you. Be super loving, happy and cheerful as possible.

Then, if it doesn’t come with Christmas maybe you can sit down with him and discuss a timeline. You and him are equals in your relationship and you have just as much right to be part of this decision making process as him.

But again, wait a little longer just in case there was a surprise coming and keep us updated 🙂

Post # 7
31 posts
  • Wedding: November 2011

I know it is confusing. My husband did almost the same thing right around the time we got engaged. He would say “The present I got you is going to top the one you got me.” So I was certain it was an engagement ring, and I told the same story to friends, and they agreed!

We went out to dinner a few nights later discussing our three year anniversary which was in a few days. We were just going over what our plans for, and I made a comment about getting an engagement ring. He flat out said pretty much the same thing your boyfriend did. My heart sank and I was upset about it, like I went back to those same friends and I was so sure that this was it.

Well, he did propose. He did all of that because I was on his trail and he didn’t want me ruining the surprise! He already knew what he was purchasing, and didn’t actually make the purchase till the day before.


I know waiting sucks and this is much easier said then done, but relax and try not to bring it up, enjoy your love and relationship and enjoy the holiday season 🙂

Post # 9
2357 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

It sounds like he has more than enough pressure on him, you don’t need to keep reminding him about his promises and asking when it will be.  I don’t mean to be rude, but I think you should chill now. He’s doing it,  but it might take a tiny bit longer than you thought. 

Post # 10
565 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

I honestly just think he is trying to lead you off his trail. He wants to surprise you! What do you expect him to say when you ask about a holiday proposal? “Yup! It will be on the 27th!” No, he wants it to be a surprise! You wouldn’t want to actually find out that way anyway, would you? I think the conversation at the Christmas party and the trip to the jewelry store were all his way of leading you astray. It’s frustrating, but if I had something planned and had saved for a ring and purchased it, there is no way I would let anyone ruin the surprise too early! I’ve got my fingers crossed for you! I think you will be pleasantly surprised!

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