New Job and IVF?

posted 1 month ago in TTC
Post # 17
Member
623 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: City, State

ladyvictoria :  I just did!!!

I found out we’d have to do IVF this past January.  At the time, that was crushing to us.  I’m not sure exactly why, but it was kind of the kick in the pants to realize that we wanted something else in our lives, and while we didn’t have control over all aspects (like when we’d have our baby), we DID have control over our jobs and our location.

By mid-February, my D.H. and I had late round job interviews lined up in a new city and were seriously considering completely redesigning our lives.  By the end of February I was starting my first round of IVF, we both had job offers in hand, we were discussing selling vs. renting our house.

By early/Mid-march I was in the thick of IVF, we both accepted new job offers, both gave our 2 weeks notice, and had a cash offer on our house.  We had put in an offer on a new house in our new city, and were preparing for D.H. to have varicocele surgery.

I’ve now been at my new job for about a month.  Because my new company is so awesome and flexible, I just spent the past 2 weeks working remotely to do round 2 of IVF EEB in my old city.

I’m now in my new location, at a new dream job, and we have 14 frozen day 1 embryos!  The past month or two have been some of the most challenging months of my life, BUT I regret nothing.  We are building our dream lives.  It is 100% possible.

I am more than happy to chat offline and give you a pep-talk.

Post # 18
Member
7075 posts
Busy Beekeeper

ladyvictoria :  at the time I was doing IVF only 2 people in my office knew – one guessed and the other was my closest work friend that helped cover for me if I was out. I will say that since having my daughter I’ve been very open about the fact that we needed IVF. The way I see it is it just proves that I am capable of being a kick-ass employee while also wanting to be a mom (since I’ve never worked here not trying to get pregnant and I’ve been told several times that I’m the best person they’ve ever had in this position) and 2. Yes, I did in fact do this on purpose. I’m not going to pretend “oh sorry boss, whoopsie baby! shucks darn” because that looks so irresponsible to me! My child wasn’t some happy accident that I’m making work even though I’d prefer to be a straight career woman. I am a mom AND a professional. Happily. On purpose. And I like to think I’m nailing both. 

Post # 19
Member
787 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

ladyvictoria :  I get it…I had to gauge my boss before I told her.  My friend who also went through ivf around the same time I did didnt want to tell her boss either. It wasnt a new job but basicly she just scheduled all her monitoring in the morning before work ( I did that too) then told her boss she had some medical issues she was dealing with and would have to take off a day or 2 around the week she suspected retrival and transfer and let him know based on her blood work she wouldnt know which days until it got closer.  He didnt question her and seemed fine with it. So you could always try that? It is so tough gauging work life and trying to start your family via ivf. I’m sure you will be fine whatever you come up!

Post # 21
Member
7075 posts
Busy Beekeeper

ladyvictoria :  being in a place that understands parents can be parents and good employees is definitely helpful. Or at least a place that understands discrimination laws lol. My workplace was really supportive, but I could tell one of my bosses was getting annoyed that I had to pump at work (another one was super nice about it – both old grandpa dudes). I kept to a fairly regular schedule so that they could plan around it so it was minimally disruptive. I know some moms that stopped because they “couldn’t find time” but the law protects my need to pump and I was very protective of my schedule. I didn’t usually always say why I wasn’t available for a call/meeting at certain times, but I just said “sorry that doesn’t work for me, how about 2:30?” and it almost always worked out just fine. 

Post # 22
Member
3499 posts
Sugar bee

ladyvictoria :  I started a new job while I was in the middle of infertility treatments. I was using COBRA as it had infertility coverage, so I needed to keep moving…plus who wants to wait when you’ve already been trying? Anyway, my doctor was luckily quite close to me, and they were open quite early for monitoring appointments. I was able to get in and out without being late for work. I would look at the logistics of this to see what’s feasible. Retrieval recovery was very easy for me, but I did have to take one day off work. I don’t imagine that would ruffle too many feathers at your new company. I think the trickiest thing is being pregnant right away at a new job. I was so worried to tell my new boss, but it ended up being totally fine. YMMV of course, but I do think its doable. Good luck!

Post # 24
Member
7075 posts
Busy Beekeeper

ladyvictoria :  has your doctor already said you can’t do a fresh transfer? My husband had sperm issues as well and had to do a bunch of testing ahead of time. They basically said “if we get a good sample during the testing phase we’ll freeze it just to have as back up”. We ended up not needing it, but it took some of the pressure off on retrieval day since Darling Husband was already like “wait…you expect me to jerk off in a hospital (with no lube) while my wife is in surgery?!” He’s a trooper though and made it happen lol. 

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