Post # 1
I’m 5 (ish) weeks pregnant. Haven’t had my first appt yet. I started a new job and simultaneously found out I’m pregnant. We had been trying a year, so not a surprise, but not ideal timing either. I’m really nervous about telling my boss/coworkers and how maternity leave will work since I won’t qualify for FMLA. I don’t plan on telling them until around 12-16 weeks because I’d like to be able to prove myself first.
Well, turns out this new job is very social. There is already a get-together with our team planned and a dept wide happy hour, plus I’m going on a work trip. I’m sure that we will be getting dinner together (plus drinks) while we’re out of town.
My dilemma… Obviously I won’t be drinking. I’m normally a big drinker. Since I’m new, I could just say I don’t drink, but I don’t want to lie, especially when in the future I will likely be getting drinks with these coworkers and it would be obvious that I had lied. I don’t want to spill the beans yet, but I’m worried about all of these social events and how to play it off that I’m not drinking. I could just not go to them (except the work trip), but I think it’s important to be social and get to know my coworkers. Help!!
Post # 2
I dont think it will matter if you ‘lie’ about not being a drinker now.
When the pregnancy is out and after you have had the baby i think it would make perfect sense to your colleagues why you had to pretend you dont drink. They shouldnt bat an eyelid imo!
Congrats by the way!
Post # 3
Congrats on your BFP!!! If you say you don’t drink, they’ll understand the white lie later after they learn you’re pregnant. That’s easily forgivable!
Post # 4
I just wouldn’t make a big deal about it. I never notice really if someone is drinking or not. I don’t think anyone is really going to question it especially with you being new. They don’t know if you were/are a big drinker or not.
Post # 6
Or, you could tell another lie and say you are on a medication that is not compatible with alcohol.
Post # 7
Don’t worry about later. After you have the baby, if you do drink, they will already know you were hiding being pregnant. No one is going to be weird about you drinking later.
Post # 8
julies1949: I’ve thought about this… Medication being… Prenatal vitamins? 😉
Post # 9
Ha! Yeahhh….prenatal vitamins….
i would either lie, or see if you can order a virgin up at the bar. However that would require you to “drink” at every event from that point on, so it may be easier to just lie
Post # 10
Just say “I don’t feel like having a drink tonight and leave it at that. It’s not a crime to not drink alcohol every time you go out. Or you could say, “I don’t drink alcohol on a week night.”
Post # 11
kb7: Anyone who asks what medication you are on that precludes you from drinking deserves to be shut down swiftly, none of their business! “That’s between my doctor and I”
If you’re genuinely worried about people being that rude and would rather not deal with it (I had a sub ask what my specialist appointment was for, I ignored the question entirely and kept talking as though I hadn’t heard…she didn’t try again) then it’s probably easier to just lie and say you don’t drink.
It’s well known and accepted that many people keep their pregnancy ‘secret’ for the first trimester, and it’s doubtful they’ll hold it against you!
Post # 12
Congrats on your pregnancy!!
I think it’s fine to tell a white lie in first trimester, people will totally understand.
Another trick I’ve found useful is ordering a drink at the start and cradling it for aaaaaaages but not actually drinking it, then just abandoning it somewhere. It’s a waste of a drink, but it throws people off the scent!
Post # 13
I would not worry so much about the timing of your pregnancy. There is no ideal time. As someone who struggled to get pregnant, I would not give a damn whether it made my boss or co-workers unhappy.
As for the social events, as long as there is a glass in your hand, I think people tend to leave you alone. Put something non-alcoholic in the glass and sip it.
I do not see why you owe anyone an explanation of why you are not drinking alcohol.
Post # 14
Just tell them you don’t drink much, if anyone asks. Likely nobody will even ask.. one of my co-workers usually ordered juice or coke when we went out, and I only noticed after about the 5th time that we all went out. Someone asked her and she said that she doesn’t much like drinking during the week and that it sometimes gives her migraines, so she doesn’t want to risk it. Anyway you don’t owe anyone an explanation.. just order whatever you want and if anyone asks just say ”I don’t feel like drinking tonight”. That’s what I did when I found out I was pregnant and nobody asked any additional questions after that. It’s none of anyone’s business.
Post # 15
Just order virgins! If someone gets you a beer nurse it then dump it in the toilet. I’ve taken ‘shots’ before while pregnant and ‘washed’ them down with beer aka spit them back in to the beer bottle.
I just went through this, am currently 15 weeks and just told my boss. I was terrified as I’ve only held the job since March and it was a huge promotion. Of course my boss was great. Good luck! You seem to have the right idea – prove yourself first then announce.