Post # 16
Once you announce you’re 12-16 weeks pregnant, people can count…they’ll figure out that’s why you weren’t drinking. I had a work event literally the day after I even knew (whihc was before the 4 week mark), didn’t drink, and when I announced at 13 weeks everyone was like “oh THAT’S why you didn’t drink 9 weeks ago!”. People aren’t going to be mad or anything for lying.
Post # 17
I would just say you don’t drink. People will understand later, if they even care at all.
Post # 18
kb7: Um, we’re twins. Also tried for a year and decided to switch jobs – started on September 21st and found out I’m pregnant this weekend. I was hoping not to tell them until the new year. I have a work trip planned in November plus the big holiday party in December, I’m just going to say I’m not a big drinker. Maybe I’ll have mocktails at the holiday party. I think it’s important to still be social, so I will actively participate in all functions, just not drink. Good luck!
Post # 19
I have gone to two happy hours with work since finding out in pregnant. The first was a big one so I just pretended to sip on wine and put it down at some point. No one realized. The second was trickier because it was much smaller and I planned to just get a bottle of beer and fake it but they had no bottled beer lol. I got another glass of wine and slowly pretended to drink. Luckily after 30 mins I had to leave so no one batted an eye that o left a pretty full glass of wine. I think you can easily not order drinks at dinner, but happy hour is usually more difficult. I say get a bottle of beer and fake it.
Post # 20
Tell them you are on a cleanse/eating clean. Which you are, except that it is because you are pg!
Post # 21
kb7: I go out to the bar with co-workers sometimes and order diet coke or soda water, just because. Nobody at any job has ever asked me “why aren’t you drinking alcohol?” Just order whatever and don’t act like it’s mysterious or a big deal, nobody will notice or care.
Post # 22
I also think you will find that people will care/notice a lot less than you think. I know it is easier said than done but there is no way if a coworker (especially when new) didn’t have a drink, that i’d be questioning them about it.
Post # 23
Thanks ladies! I feel a lot better about it.
GingerBaby: wow we really are twins! We’ll have to be each other’s support for new-job-pregnancy related stuff. My work trip is also in November. Have you figured out how maternity leave works yet? Im worried about not qualifying for FMLA. I did read that it is at the companies discretion if they want to allow you paid leave, though.
Post # 24
Why not just say you have a stomach bug, and that alcohol makes you feel a bit sick right now? Hey… it’s probably true at the moment, right?
Post # 25
I’m not a big drinker and my coworkers go out socially quite a bit. I have NEVER been asked why I’m not drinking. We recently hired someone new and I couldn’t tell you whether or not he had a drink. Most people don’t pay attention to those kind of things. I think you’re worrrying about nothing.
Post # 26
kb7: and Gingerbaby triplets here, other than this was my first cycle and I had no idea it would happen this fast! I found out last week (when I returned from my honeymoon) I am 6 weeks. I started my job last week! Same type of situation very social setting, girls have already invited me for drinks next week I want to hang out. I was thinking of using the drive (45) as an excuse as I normally wouldn’t drink and drive anyways. It is going to be hard to keep it a secret as everyone is so nice and I am awful at keeping my mouth shut! If someone just asks I have no idea what I will say!
Post # 27
kb7: I did a bit of research. I think my situation is a bit different as I did work here before, but in a different group. I worked here for a few years until I had my first, then left to be home with her (and continued to work part time at a small company near my house). Our plan was for me to stay home until we had our second and they were in preschool, but a manager who I worked with while here before reached out to me with an amazing opportunity and we weren’t having luck conceiving so I decided to come back. I know we won’t qualify for FMLA, but I will be covered by short term disability – have you looked into that? Some short term disability policies have a period before maternity coverage kicks in. Thankfully, mine does not. So I’ll get paid, the problem with no FMLA is they’re not required to hold our job. The only thing that makes me nervous about this is they know I left before because I had my daughter. I don’t want them to think I won’t come back after having this baby and hire someone else. I’m just going to really strongly reassure them that I will be back after this baby. They are really flexible with scheduling and I work from home often, plus I LOVE this job, so I have no intention of quitting after this baby. I think you have a good plan with really proving yourself before you tell them. Do you have a feel for the company culture? Do you think they’re supportive (really supportive, not just because they have to be) of pregnancies? Is there someone in HR you can talk to?
Post # 28
GingerBaby: So before I left for my honeymoon the HR lady hugged me said have fun don’t get pregnant. 😳
Post # 29
Yeah I have been working at my new job almost 3 months now and I wont qualify for FMLA either and this pregnancy wasnt planned at all. I know they have short term disability you can apply for but that was at orientation when I first started this job and WASNT pregnant then. I wonder if I can apply for that now cause I’m sunk otherwise and I have yet to tell my boss because I want to make a doctors appointment to double check on things. Also, my insurance has kicked in but because our deductible hasnt been met yet, everything will be out of pocket until then which means I’m just gonna have to apply for Pregnancy Medicaid since my work insurance is a ripoff for now. Do they have to give you leave regardless even if you dont qualify for FMLA?
Post # 30
GingerBaby: I have a company paid short term disability that starts your first day. I haven’t seen anything about it not covering maternity til later, I think it does. It’s just up to the companies discretion if they want to grant you leave.
The company really does care about its employees. They even have a mothers room for pumping, and a coworker takes 2 30min sessions to pump because she has a 5 month old. So hoping everything goes ok.