(Closed) New job (dream job) vs. sister’s wedding. Advice and perspective needed.

posted 7 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
412 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

I think as long as you’re up front with your job when you get hired, they aren’t going to hold it against you!  It’s your sister’s wedding!  When they offer you the job, tell them you want to accept but have to take these three days off, one for your sister’s wedding and two for yours.  Honestly, I think anyone would understand that… it’s not like you’re taking time off to go to the beach or something, you know?

Post # 4
Member
331 posts
Helper bee

Can you make it a condition for acceptance of the position if they offer it to you? As in, “I’ll need to take X day for a previously scheduled appointment.” and leave it at that. They don’t need to know it’s for a wedding. If you make the condition up front and it’s only a day, most places won’t have any issue with that… to me, it’s simply a condition of acceptance. I’d be surprised if they said no or even prodded for what it needed to be. I’ve done that for a few jobs and it hasn’t been a big deal.

 

Post # 6
Member
5993 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

as an employer, during interviews we have had people request time for vacations or wedding and a good employer wouldnt begrudge a day or 2 for their employee to see their sister get married

my thoughts you can only ask if they are open to you taking the time off and you will endeavour to have your work covered/done for those days – goodluck with both the job and the weddings!

Post # 7
Member
331 posts
Helper bee

@GreenGables:  Yeah, that’s understandable. I know it won’t be easy but the earlier you let your sister know of “potentials” the better it would be… or at least, the more time she’d have to get over it. If she applies the same idea to your brother, she can apply it to herself, ya know? I’d be sure to emphasize how much you’d love to help and be a part of the wedding but you can’t risk good standing at your new job, should you get it. Can you offer to help without being a Bridesmaid or Best Man at all? Maybe it’s in the cards to take photos after the ceremony instead of before? As long as you can make it for the actual ceremony, you’re still doing the best you can.

Post # 8
Member
8681 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

As a potential employer I would judge an employee that missed their own families wedding (or who at least didn’t ask and make a case for the leave for it). It doesn’t speak much of loyalty to willingly miss such an important family event.

 Besides which even if your sister says she understands (because she is a good person) it will alter your relationship if you choose work over her wedding.

Post # 11
Member
46606 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Frankly, I wouldn’t work for an employer who had a problem with me taking ONE DAY off for my sister’s wedding and TWO DAYS for my own. That kind of work atmosphere sucks the soul out of people.

Post # 12
Member
7901 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2012 - Pelican Grand Beach Resort

@julies1949:  my sentiments exactly. 

Post # 14
Hostess
7561 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: January 2013

You’ll still be able to make it to the wedding if you get your job, right? Are you just worried that you’ll miss out on some of the getting ready stuff? I’d say don’t hesitate to take the job! Your sister’s wedding is one day and this great job could be for many years.

Post # 16
Member
10366 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2010

Choose the job, but ask for the day off on condition of employment.

My brother decided to make his wedding day when I would need to be in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean on a research ship during my first year of grad school. I chose grad school…and thank god I did. My entire thesis ended up being based off the samples from that cruise! In the end, it’s one day. It’s how you treat your family over the course of their lives.

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