- 10 years ago
- Wedding: December 2006
OK I’m not sure if I need yet another new j ob or to see a therapist. After being unemployed for ten months and sending out over 130 resumes I finally landed a very PT secretarial gig. I am not a secretary by trade, but I had done the work in the past before I went ahead and got my Masters in another field. I worked in my professional field for 8+ years, including several positions in management, but had to quit last Fall after taking a promotion that left me with a very verbally abusive boss. I was also having health problems at the time and transitioning off of medications, so taking the promotion was probably a very bad idea! Unfortunately, word of my sudden resignation got around, so it has been difficult for me to transition back into my chosen field.
I took this secretarial job because after not working for 10 months DH and I really needed me to make some cash, if for no other reason than to offset the school loans that I have. This position is for a religious organization that is a different religion than myself, but I didn’t really think it would be a problem. For my 20 hours a week I have two bosses, one male and one female. The female and I share a tiny office — our chairs frequently bump — with no AC so it’s always at least 89 in there. The male I have barely seen in the month I have been hired.
I’ve tried to do a really wonderful job, but I receive no positive feedback. However, let me forget to “dot an ‘I” and I’ll find a pile of “edited” papers from the members of the organization on my desk! There have been a lot of questions about my personal life that I don’t choose to discuss with co-workers or organizational members. Additionally, this religion is very pro-alcohol, while mine is mostly dry. I finally got them to stop asking me about my favorite wine by telling them I’m allergic to grapes ! (Which I am, which is why I don’t drink that beverage. This religion keeps vodka, wine etc in the refrigerator at all times.) I thought this was going to be a fairly stress free job, but because I get mostly no feedback I find myself stressing about every little thing. Also, after my last experience with the abusive boss, I am trying not to talk much about my personal life at work as it seems inappropriate and like it just gives people “ammunition.”
I wake up screaming in the middle of the night, multiple times. If , that is, I can sleep at all. I’m in bed at 11:30 AM up by 6 AM, but now most nights I am awake from 2 – 5. When I’m at work I spend a lot of time looking for something to do, as in a months time I am way ahead in all the projects (to the point where I was told today there is simply nothing more I can do right now.) I was hired for 20 hours a week, but can do my weekly work in less than 6 hours, and this is supposed to be the busy time of year! Also, the pay schedule bugs me, as I don’t get paid until “sometime after the 15th” of the following month for the previous month’s work. So I got paid for the entire month of July on September 20th, which seems like a long time to wait.
Yesterday I saw a posting for two different FT positions in my field. I want to apply, but told my references I was going to stay at this job for at least 2 years (the timetable for finishing our home renovations.) This is the 10th position (eventho my resume says 3) I have held in the last 3.5 years, prior to getting married & moving I had only held 2 jobs in my adult life (I am in my mid-30’s).
Should I apply for the jobs? Look for anything else? Why am I having such an extreme reaction to a job I can practically do in my sleep? Additional info: DH is trying to be supportive, but he is tired of me hopping from job to job and quitting outright. Another 10 months of no employment for me would be bad for our marriage. Also, I did see a therapist. She thought I should divorce DH and go back to the life I had when work was my life, because “that seems like when you were happiest.” (Not true.) Or she thought we should put the house up an move somewhere we could “both thrive”. (Yes, we thought of that, but he bought in 2006 and we’re 1/2 through renovating, so needless to say we can’t sell right now.)