(Closed) New job requires me to stay until 8-9pm and wasn’t disclosed during interview.

posted 2 years ago in Career
Post # 16
3486 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2017 - City, State

Quit. This job is a bad fit for you. Find something closer to home or something that doesn’t require any overtime.

Post # 17
1279 posts
Bumble bee

angelbritney :  i imagine most people are referring to the fact that it doesn’t/shouldn’t matter to her employer that she is married. unmarried people also have relationships that they value and are equally deserving of their free time. 

of course its fine for OP to prioritize time with her husband over spending long hours working, that is just a matter of personal preference. but she said herself that she was fine putting in well over 40 hours a week, she just expected to be doing some of that work from home. i think many of us are not sure how the whole ‘i’m a married woman’ thing comes into play here.

Post # 18
3068 posts
Sugar bee

angelbritney :  Some good questions would be: Do you want a job, or a career? Are you passionate about your chosen field? If the answer is a yes to either/both, then working overtime sometimes is not such a sacrifice or inconvenience. I firmly believe that people in both instances can have a life beyond the office; it might be challenging, but can be done. Millions of people manage it every day.

Post # 19
1047 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2019

Where do you live where commuter trains turn into abandoned Thunderdomes at quarter to seven???

At any rate, I don’t think this is the right job for you.  Marketing generally requires weird hours anyway and marketing for a start-up even more so.  It sounds like the boss was so eager to hire you that he wasnt entirely honest.  Maybe he’s new to hiring?  At any rate, if you need more stable (and earlier) hours, it doesn’t sounds like this is a place where you’ll get them.

Post # 20
15 posts

Same boat op. Look elsewhere. The long commute is one thing, the undisclosed hours are another. My boss keeps switching the hours on me whenever he pleases. During the week, I’m getting home at 11pm and expected to skip lunch. Nope nope nope. 

Post # 21
2091 posts
Buzzing bee

The hours aside, you were upfront with them in the interview process and it turned out to be quite the opposite. I think some PP’s are losing sight of the fact that this was discussed upfront and they hired her anyways and promised flexibility– and they haven’t followed through with their end of the bargain.

I’d bring it up to your boss what you discussed in the interview process. And maybe start looking elsewhere if it doesn’t look like you can come to a compromise


Post # 22
1621 posts
Bumble bee

Quit. Since you haven’t been there very long, you could likely get away with not even putting it on your resume. If anyone asks or if you disclose that you worked there,  just be honest and say that it wasn’t a good fit and you decided to look for opportunities elsewhere.  

Take this as a lesson learned.  Next time be very clear in your expectations and ask the employer clear questions in the interview. I would ask specifically what would my general hours be and what is the expectation about staying late/ overtime. You should also ask about culture in the office and how work/life balance is treated since this is important to you. 

Post # 23
937 posts
Busy bee

Sounds like a typical bait-and-switch. I’ve read many articles out there on employers shady interview tactics. Did you ask if these late nights are just during the training period?

There’s nothing wrong with looking elsewhere and letting them know this job isn’t a good fit…especially if they lied about the hours. 

Post # 24
227 posts
Helper bee

Could you try getting a later train a few times (perhaps with someone else/with your partner, if you’re worried about being on your own) just to see what it is like. It may be that it isn’t anywhere near as bad as you are fearing, which would give you more flexibility in terms of when you can leave the office.

I think you need to consider what matters more to you at the moment: leaving work at 5 and having all evening for yourself/with your partner, or working in a job like this (perhaps permanently but more likely for a period of time before you can move up). There’s no wrong answer. Many careers to require these kinds of hours, at least for a while, and if you’re passionate about this job then it may well be worth it (though annoying). But it might not feel worth it when you think about your goals and values, and that’s ok too. Either way, I wouldn’t suggest leaving before you’ve found anything you think would suit you better. 

Post # 25
3293 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2017

I can’t imagine a conductor telling you the train was so dangerous and abandoned before the evening’s begun. If true surely local news reports back that up & you were aware prior to taking this job. 

I would ask your direct supervisor if this it typical OT & let them know that you aren’t getting a lunch break. There’s a chance that when you adjust to your workload you will have better time management.

On a side note, I’ve never had a job that that ended at the same time every evening. It might not be possible in your field. You may need to modify your expectations.

Post # 26
983 posts
Busy bee

I would find a new job. But I go to a job, because it is what I do to afford my life the rest of the time. I also have children, so I won’t work longer than a 6:30 am-3:00pm schedule. You seriously would think my desk chair has a spring that goes off precisely at 3. By 3:01, I am in my car leaving the parking lot. 

I would also drive and not take the train with such wacky hours.

Post # 27
2161 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

mrstravelbee12 :  Ouch bee. Those hours do suck. Married or not… jobs like that tend to absorb the employees time and energy leaving little space for anything else. Some people live for jobs like that. Single or married. You don’t have to be one of them. 

However… as a BIG US city bee I will say… the commuter train going through “bad areas” and being unsafe for a single woman at night is a ridulous and fear mongering assumption. Good hardworking people still live in those “bad neighborhoods” and deserve access to public transportation. Get some pepper spray if you’re worried about it but avoiding the train at that time is outrageous. 

Post # 28
1299 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2016

angelbritney :  It’s perfectly OK for the OP to not want to work long hours and to prioritize weeknight time in her marriage. However it’s HER priorities. Not all long-hour jobs are ‘soul-sucking’ and there are those of us who manage long working hours and still have happy marriages and hobbies because of how we prioritize. 

Just because a wife (or husband) isn’t home at 5 30 PM to spend the evening with their SO doesn’t mean their marriage isn’t a priority to them. 

PPs are right that as a blanket statement, OP being married has nothing to do with needing to be home early in the evening. It’s perfectly fine for OP to say ‘A priority in my marriage is that I am home in the evenings to spend time with my SO” – that’s her perogative! Just as it’s your perogative to believe that spending time with your SO in the evenings on weekdays is one of the ways you show that your marriage is a priority. That works FOR YOU. 

Projecting your priorities onto all marriages and your opinions about long work hours on all jobs/people perpetuates the idea that there is one way to have career, a marriage, and to find satisfaction in life. For women who are trying to break away from what a ‘perfect’ marriage or ‘perfect’ career looks like – you’re really not helping. 

I work long hours (typically 70+ hrs a week) plusI travel Mon-Th so I really only see my Husband Fri-Sun. I also have hobbies (E.g. I ride dressage, I run, I knit) plus I have my dog and guess what? I love my job and do not find it “soul sucking” nor do I find that my marriage suffers due to my career. Do I make sacrifices so that I can balance everything? Obviously! Lower priorities are sacrificed in favor of higher priorities. I only see friends on weekends, I only ride 3x a week (so my horse and I are not progressing as quickly as we could if I rode every day), I have early nights on weekends to make sure I recover enough to manage the upcoming week’s little sleep. But these are MY choices because I love my job, my husband, and my hobbies. 

Post # 29
8919 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

mrstravelbee12 :  When you quit, please do not tell them it’s because you’re married and ovaries make you afraid to work late. Ideas like this are why there’s a pay gap. Just tell them the hours don’t work.

Post # 30
5863 posts
Bee Keeper

Agree with the general consensus on here that being married doesn’t give you special status and that 7pm is not a terribly unusual or unsafe commute. You do come off as being a bit precious and I think this is distracting from the heart of the matter. 

Fact is, you were upfront about commuter trains, work times et al during the interview, so I’m really not understanding why a fast paced start-up catering to the schedules of their clients would hire you on knowing that your needs and their needs quite simply don’t mesh. Your schedule doesn’t sound do-able for them, their schedule doesn’t sound do-able for you. They deserve the lion’s share of the blame here, because you were honest about your requirements and they were misleading on theirs. They’ve done you a disservice because in the time you’ve put in trying to make this work/ hope things are temporary/ improve, you could have been out there interviewing for positions that are a much better fit. 

I can’t see this working, in your shoes I’d be getting my resume back out there. 

The topic ‘New job requires me to stay until 8-9pm and wasn’t disclosed during interview.’ is closed to new replies.

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