(Closed) New job requires me to stay until 8-9pm and wasn’t disclosed during interview.

posted 2 years ago in Career
Post # 46
Member
435 posts
Helper bee

I saw in your profile you’re in St. Louis. Yeah, I wouldn’t take metrolink at night either, so that’s a leigitimate concern for you.

Post # 48
Member
2019 posts
Buzzing bee

1) There are jobs that would have worked for me, schedule-wise before I was married that would not now. I think there is a difference between young, new grads, living downtown with less responsibilities (housework, a pet, a family) and having a family, living far away and having other hobies. Life changes and it is FINE to say this job doesn’t work for me. It’s also fine to compare yourself with your coworkers. If they are all single, living downtown and you aren’t single and don’t live downtown, it’s fine to point that out. 

2) I live in an area that I wouldn’t take public transportation past 6PM. Don’t think the conductor or OP are unreasonable on this one.

3) OP- talk to your boss. If this week’s schedule is normal to them and you can’t work something out, I would quit. It’s 100% fine to not want a job like this. If you agreed to different hours and they lied, I’d quit. 

Work/life balance is important (I think especially when you are married) and if this company doesn’t offer you that, there are other companies that will. 

Post # 50
Member
830 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

mrstravelbee12 :  Could you approach the owner with documentation of some of your hours, and discuss it once more? For example, you could say something like, “When you hired me, you told me that this position wouldn’t require excessive evening and weekend work. But over the last 2 weeks, I have worked an average of X-hours per day on weekdays, and X on weekends. In addition, I’ve had to stay late in the office on X days during the last two weeks, even though we had discussed that I would need to leave at 5pm most days to catch my train. These inconsistencies between how the position was presented and the realities of the workload are unsustainable for me. Would you prefer that I resign, or are you able to address these isses?”

Talking to the owner about the workload directly, including that you are considering resigning, could give the owner the chance to address the problem. Maybe he or she would hire a new staffperson (or multiple employees) in order to reduce everyone’s workload? Or maybe the owner would find a way to shift your job duties tso that you wouldn’t have to stay late for so many meetings in the office?

And if the owenr won’t address the issues, at least you’ll know that you’ve given it your best shot!

Post # 51
Member
1363 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2018 - Banquet Hall/Conference Center

hikingbride :  Umm, being a married woman absolutely does matter in tech/startup scene. I have read so many articles and heard stories about people who just cannot compete with the sort of time that a bunch of young single tech bros can commit to their work. When you’re married you just simply don’t have that kind of time as you would if you were single, unless you really just don’t care about your marriage (which will come back to bite you after a year of late nights at the office). It’s just a fact that single people (without other circumstances like ailing parents or children or whatever else) typically have more time than a married person. 

Anyway, that rant aside….

  1. Bring it up to your manager and other people to ask is this going to be the case all the time.
  2. If so, start looking at other opportunities that would fit your lifestyle or see if you can move to the city. Careful about the last one though – being closer might induce you working even later…at least now you have the excuse/reason of the train.
  3. Enroll in a Guaranteed Ride Home program with your local transit agency. It gives you a certain number of free taxi rides per year if you take transit.

It’s easy for a single person to come home at 9 and eat out or whatever for dinner (literally there have been days when I’ve had popcorn for dinner after working late). When you’re married though (at least my concept of married life), I think it’s harder to justify the cost of eating out all the time, plus there is more of an expectation that you guys will cook and eat a real dinner together.

PS – I’m a transportation planner. Where do you live that you can’t get a train with enough people on it past 6 PM? Genuinely curious.

Post # 52
Member
12216 posts
Sugar Beekeeper

I was also going to suggest meeting with the owner and discussing the current realities. Sounds like the disconnect may be due to him being more than a bit oblivious to what’s been going on right under his nose in recent weeks. 

Rather than lose you, he may encourage accomodations for you or promise to hire more people to reduce the load. 

I wouldn’t just up and quit without at least discussing it with him, though. That’s not professional either. 

Post # 53
Member
1400 posts
Bumble bee

Not sure why people are being so harsh. No way is this schedule a “good work life balance”. Three meetings a week scheduled at short notice, requiring you to work 3-4 hours over time each night with no time off to compensate is not what you signed up for and is not something I would be happy with. Are you paid by the hour or salaried and what does it say in your contract? If it says 37.5 hours and you’re salaried then your employer should either be paying you overtime or giving you time back, as he is breaching your contract by making you regularly exceed the hours stated, especially as this was not mentioned in the interview and you expressed the importance of normal office hours. 

My Future Mother-In-Law got screwed by this, she took a job being told it was 37.5 hours for X salary, when she started it turned out she was working 50 hours for the same salary, so she was not only working extra hours but was also earning a lot less per hour. 

I also think you being married is relevant as although some people are happy working 70+ hour weeks and don’t mind only seeing their partner at weekends, most people probably would not be cool with this if. Having long unpredictable hours is something many people do when they are young and single and try to steer away from when they’re older and married. I used to work crazy hours myself when I was a recent grad and I’ve now taken a 9-5 job now as it was severely impacting on my relationship and quality of life. There’s nothing wrong with wanting a regular schedule and time in the evenings to have hobbies or spend with your partner. 

Post # 54
Member
13672 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I may have missed this, but have you actually had a conversation with your boss about the hours and the workload?  Maybe if you sat down and had a reasoned conversation with him about working well over 40 hours in the office (noting that this is contrary to what he said in the interview), the heavy workload, not expanding the employees to help with the expanding client profile is detrimental to the overall growth of the company, etc etc… you could really make a difference.  Don’t frame it as your own personal problem (which, the commute / marriage argumetns are), but frame it in a way that can actually benefit the whole firm.

Your boss needs to recognize that burning out employees, particularly in start ups, is a very real problem and can lead to morale issues and high turnover.  Having this conversation before this becomes a major problem could be helpul for everyone, and make you look like a great team player in supporting the business.

Post # 55
Member
973 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

bubbles00 :  Exactly. It bugs me that everyone is automatically jumping to that there is no way a public commuter train could ever become dangerous at any time.  I lived in a city with a few gang shootings, mostly in the park right by my apartment at the time, but there were two that happened on the train so I’m not sitting in huge disbelief, as some of the other bees, that taking the train late at night can be dangerous.   

Post # 56
Member
12216 posts
Sugar Beekeeper

I don’t think OP should refer to it as an issue because she is married, but I do think she should remind the owner of the discussion in which she made her personal limitations with overtime hours quite clear. That is an important first step and a perfectly reasonable and legitimate thing for her to do. 

If the owner was upset to see people at the office after that off site meeting, he might be shocked  to hear what’s been going on on a routine basis and make some swift changes. Maybe OP can FaceTime these type of meetings when they do need to happen.

Post # 57
Member
1363 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2018 - Banquet Hall/Conference Center

mrstravelbee12 :  Good on you :). It’s great that you’ve come to a decision on your own. I wish the startup culture wasn’t so terrible for anyone who doesn’t fit the “single, urban tech bro” description, but until that day comes, a company like this is for sure going to lose talent from women, older, and married people. All the best with your resignation and with your job hunt! I would definitely mention the hours thing at my exit interview.

Post # 59
Member
2004 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

unfortunately a lot of employers are going to do this. Almost every job ive had, has been like sure we can work with you and your hours, then once your hired your expected to work whenever they need you.

I think it depends on a lot of factors, can your husband come get you later, can you catch a bus closer to home after work… If you really love this job or wanted it and it pays better then what you were doing before or anything else, i would try and stick with it for at least a month or two. 

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