(Closed) New Jobs for us on two different coasts, how to address with employer?

posted 7 years ago in Career
Post # 3
1566 posts
Bumble bee

I think that since he’s received the offer, it doesn’t hurt for him to check. He can briefly explain that there’s been a change in circumstances and that, while he will move if it’s necessary, it would be wonderful if he could work out of East Coast office. I don’t think it would be wise to negotiate or push it if they’re not receptive to the idea, since (like you said) that would likely make him look bad/end up with rescinded offer. But I can’t imagine that politely/ non-aggressively testing the waters would have a strong negative impact on his situation with the firm.  

Post # 4
3041 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

Could his dream job support both of you on the West Coast? If so, could you work remotely for now & get a new job on the West Coast?

If you absolutely can not leave your job & he can’t take the dream job, he needs to let the employer know ASAP. By now, they’ve likely let all other applicants know the job has been filled.

I agree w/ AGirlWithARing, it doesn’t hurt to check. I don’t think it would make him look bad at all either.

Good luck!

Post # 6
18643 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

That’s so tough.  Has he had other bites on the East Coast?  It’s a tough job market out there, it might be hard for him to find a job no matter where he is.  I would have him ask them about the other office, just letting them know that things changed and see what they way.  It sounds like you possibly aren’t going to be able to move because of your position  It all depends on who has a job that can be filled more easily and compromise.

Post # 7
1056 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

Wow that’s hard!!  What is his job??  I agree if it doesn’t work with the West Coast job.  Could you afford to move to the East coast on your salary alone?  Or on his salary alone on the West Coast?  Where in the East Coast is the job?  Location is everything when it comes to costs.  I know you said that you didn’t want to do the distance thing but could it work for alittle bit until after a couple months to see if he couldn’t move out to the east or just mention it up front. 


I’ll pray for you as that is definitly a tough decision, but in this economy it’s a GOOD decision to have.  I wish you both the best of luck, let us know what you end up doing!

Post # 8
3639 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

I’m all for him testing the waters. Go for it, but gently.

Ultimately though you have to decide: Either you get your dream job or he does.

Post # 9
3041 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

I’m assuming if you both had to chose between jobs, you’ve both already decided taht you’d stay with yours. That’s what I got from your last post.

IMO, he should:

1. let the West Coast job know today that unfortunately things have changed & he wanted to let them know as soon as possible.
2. Tell them that you are unable to telecommute as originally told by your employers and you just now found out. He cannot move to the West.
3. He could say he is able to work out of the East Coast office, if they have a position available.
4. He should thank them very much for the opportunity & apologize for it not working out.

Maybe don’t use my wording, but those are the things I’d say. It may “burn bridges” with that company, or it may not… but if you can’t move, than you can’t. I’m sorry, it sucks your job told you that you could telecommute then went back on it. At least you found out before you moved West!

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