Post # 17
I changed to my ex hubby’s last name the first time I got married even though it was such an annoying name and I didn’t want to at all. I’m not cattle or property and since that’s the legacy of taking the husbands last name I wanted nothing to do with it. I was pretty young, though, and younger than him and didn’t really have the same boldness and confidence that I do now.
It took forever to change back and $250 at the courthouse. I had to get his permission to change it back, if you can believe it! Like a child. Plus, when I go to DMV, I have to show birth certificate, marriage certificate, divorce decree, legal name change from judge, new id – HOLY PAIN IN THE ASS! lol I’m really not willing to now show all of that and then another marriage certificate!
This time, I’ll keep my name or hypenate or he can take mine or hypenate with me. I believe in equality and that neither of us are each others property. We’re both H’s, so at least monogramming will be easy!
Post # 18
I never wanted to change my name until I met FH. I was always afraid that I would meet someone with a common last name or that I wouldn’t like the name. I love my last name, it is unique, Italian, and close to the top in the alphabet. I am going to change my name and am surprisingly very excited about it! I love it! I love the way is sounds, the way is looks with my name when I write it, and the initial is cool, but I will be moving down the alphabet quite a bit. I guess that’s not really such a big thing now, but I do like it for work and school when names alphabetized.
Post # 19
I have always wanted to take his last name. It is MUCH easier to pronounce… not that mine is really that difficult. I just get tired of correcting people. and the idea of being Mrs. Shef is so much more exciting that being Mrs. Fricke-Shef or even keeping my last name. Besides, I think if I didn’t want to take his last name he would be a litle hurt.
Post # 20
He felt strongly about me taking his name; I felt strongly about keeping my name. We comprimised and plan to take each others names so our names will be First name Middle name My last name His last name. I dont want to hyphenate though; it seems less confusing for using my maiden name at work. Can we do that? His dad keeps saying that we’ll have problems when we enroll our kids in school if we give them both our names when we have kids.
Post # 21
CellaDee I am in the same place that you are in right now.
Until now taking a husbands name is something ‘other women’ did, but now I am sort of conflicted. Taking his name would make him quite happy. Furthermore, my own last name is constantly butchered by others and my fiancee’s name is short and sweet. I still, however, am not comfortable with the idea of changing my last name, and a hyphen is totally out — it would be a mess.
Post # 22
Even though I firmly support women keeping their names/hyphenating I’ve decided to just take his. I’m honestly not too attatched to my name and (just like you) he has strong feelings about me taking his name so I say we go the path of least resistence.
Post # 23
I’m hyphenating. I like my last name but I also love being married and taking his! So the best of both worlds.
Post # 24
Kept my name. I would not consider changing my name unless my husband changed his name in the same way (e.g., we both hyphenated, or created a new combined last name).
PS: The title of this thread is a little off…if a woman keeps her maiden name, she does not have a new last name!
Post # 25
Keeping my name. Fiance is perfectly happy with that. Like doingathing, I wouldn’t change my name unless Fiance also changed his. It doesn’t seem reasonable to me that a man would get to have a “strong opinion” about his wife taking his name when he’s not the one being asked to make any changes!
Post # 26
People have always mispronounced and misspelled my last name, so my dream of changing it for the past 30 years has finally come true!
Post # 27
i added his name, so now i have 2 last names. kinda like hyphenating, but i feel like it’s a bit more flexible–i don’t mind being mrs. his name socially, but professionally my last name’s there still. our kids will just go by his last (though probably have mine for a middle) and i didn’t drop my middle name, which is my mom’s maiden name. so actually, i have 3 last names, but i only use 2 in the “last name” slot. i was going to move my last name to the middle name slot, and have 2 middles, but ny’s dmv doesn’t let you change your middle name just with a marriage license, though you can change your last.
Post # 28
I’m dropping my middle name so I will be Ms. Firstname Maiden Hislastname. I know this is something a lot of women struggle with. Do whatever feels right to you!
Post # 29
P.S. I think ESP makes awesome initials! I know a little girl whose initials are APE…ESP is way better!