(Closed) New little bee…can’t bite tongue, help!

posted 7 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
121 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@kellenbay375:

Man that does sound rough! I can’t imagine he would say things like that if he didn’t have something in the works though. My BF’s best bud is in a similar situation – they are in their early 30s and his Girlfriend, who is one of my good friends, is starting to lose patience. BUT, I just got it out of my Boyfriend or Best Friend the other day that he actually has a ring and is trying to throw her off his trail! Hopefully that is the case for you too..

We definitely are hitting a good time of year for engagement right? Lots of family at Thanksgiving, the holidays, New Year? It is soooo hard to be patient, but he obviously loves you and is thinking about it. Keep your chin up girl!

Post # 4
Member
123 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

i say it in my head most of the time but sometimes it comes out and he’ll say something like “i know babe” or “soon”…. drives me nuts but what can i do?… do ill just smile and change the subject. lol

Post # 5
Member
4073 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2018

I’m sure it will happen!  I know my SO wont ask on my birthday (but similarly, it still twinged),  he’s probably waiting to surprise you.  Totally know how you feel on the wedding talk, my SO has been working on an event all month (ok, so it’s not a wedding but it’s a beautiful venue all the same) and when I went to visit him today I couldn’t help but say what I’d do if it were our wedding!  AND a couple did their wedding pictures in the park next to the venue whilst we sat on a bench for lunch.  It’s hard being patient, and soooo frustrating but it’ll be worth it in the end.  *big hugs* 🙂

Post # 6
Member
1577 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

If he’s the one bringing up marriage, how are you ruining a “surprise”?  LoL.. I say, if he brings it up, it’s fair game.  He already knows that you want to be engaged… if he doesn’t want you to say anything about it, he shouldn’t bring it up!  I don’t feel that there’s anything wrong with making comments, just try not to harp on it for too long.  You should feel like you can tell him whatever is on your mind and not be punished for it.  Say what you want, then change the subject.

Post # 7
Member
137 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I agree with Foxxy.  If he brings it up, you certainly aren’t crazy for responding!  Just keep it light and short and even though you want to jump up and down and squeal, try to play it cool 🙂  

Believe me, I waited a long.  ass.  time.  It’s not easy, and I feel your pain.  I used to scream what I wanted to say, only I’d do it in my head.  It really would make me feel better, as crazy at that sounds.  Hours before my Fiance proposed, he told me that he was still in the process of looking for a ring and he hadn’t had time to buy one yet.  I remember thinking “OMG!  YOU!  ARE!  RIDICULOUS!” or something to that effect…and it turns out, he was only saying that to trick me anyway–so it paid off that I didn’t have a full-blown tantrum.

 Hang in there! 

Post # 8
Member
2385 posts
Buzzing bee

You can do it!

Post # 9
Member
215 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2006

Hmm that sounds really tough.  I don’t know to be honest because my husband and I always spoke openly about everything.  I can’t even remember how the conversations about marriage started but it was always just kind of known that we would.  We chose my ring together, he saved up, bought it and proposed.  At least he is thinking along the same lines as you if he is sayign things like “at our wedding” etc.  Maybe hes trying to see your reaction to see if you are up for the idea of marriage too?

Post # 10
Member
432 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Welcome to the boards! I’m sorry i have no advice for you! But i agree with other Bee’s if he brings it up it’s okay to respond ^^

Post # 12
Member
120 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Like Blue-bird, I have no advice as I think I may have just ruined my own proposal, or at least delayed it, by responding “inappropriately” to a comment he made the other night.  It sounds like you are doing fine with the comments you make.  You are letting him know that you want to be married to him too, but you aren’t making your whole relationship about getting engaged.  And for those days you have difficulty biting your tongue, there are the waiting boards filled with lots of supportive people who are in the same place you are in.  Good luck!

Post # 13
Member
145 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

It seems like every time I manage to NOT say something about it for a day (or an hour…) my SO manages to bring it up! I know that the only reason I don’t have the ring yet is because he hasn’t finished paying it off (he’s paying before pickup to avoid interest charges). And I’ve found myself making the snarky “well it’s your fault we’re not engaged yet!!” type of comments as well!

Due to some non-engagement horrible events that are taking place in our lives right now, I’ve tried to be really really really good about not putting SO under any more stress by acting as impatient and anxious as I feel.

My only advice is to try to find something else to occupy your mind. Or, if you can’t keep your mind off of wedding things, start researching things like venues and what types of dresses you like and ideas for decor, etc. 

Post # 14
Member
2731 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

@kunezerwa: That sounds exactly like my boyfriend! If I hear him say the word “soon” one more time I’m gonna punch him in the gut! Haha.

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