(Closed) New members with "odd" posts?

posted 7 years ago in Weddingbee
Post # 79
Member
3028 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

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@iarebridezilla:  +1 I have recieved the “you must be really fun at parties,” when people are talking about drinking and driving.

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@iarebridezilla:  I kind of hope so.

The “intimate” threads make even me (teach a sex ed group) uncomfortable sometimes and I do see a huge increase in the possible trolling.  

Also regarding people being a bit “blunt” in responding.  I personally find it frusterating when someone posts a problem and then asks for advice or opinions and then shuts down what other people say.  If someone wants advice and maybe wants “guided advice” ask for it.  Say, “here’s the situation..I don’t plan on calling off the wedding and I need advice on how to approach him on this problem as I feel betrayed.”  I think people post then get upset when someone tells them the truth.  I also notice an increase in threads in which a bee mentions abuse or the potential for it…it makes me worry when they stop responding, although in an hr there is 50 responses.  One last pet peeve people who only START threads and will comment on the ones they start, but not on anyone else’s stuff.  

Post # 80
Member
144 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

I’m just hoping this place is able to be the open spot I’ve been looking for… I was so excited when I signed up (just yesterday) because I FINALLY had a place to talk about my wedding stuff. I’ve been involved in other message boards, but they were really specific topics, so there was no room for my wedding stuff to really be discussed.

 

i know someone just said it seems like newer posters are really blunt and snarky… Really? Was it necessary to say that? Don’t judge everyone based on a few… I could just as easily say “a lot of older posters seem to be really judgmental” and you would probably be offended. 

 

Please stop reading so big into the “new user” thing! Just because we are new dies not mean we are rude, snarky, or out to start drama. And yeah we might have a crazy post to start with… I have SO many questions in regards to my wedding that I want to ask, but now I’m trying to be careful and not post too many at once, and also just flat out wont be asking some at all, because I don’t want to be called a troll. 

Post # 82
Member
199 posts
Blushing bee

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@CiaArielleNeugebauer:  yeah, I get the feeling that unless you have a thousand posts under belt, you don’t get any respect.

Post # 83
Member
2649 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

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@CiaArielleNeugebauer:   I think your post was directed at me. I am sorry if I ruffled some feathers.  My point was that this is a cycle that the hive goes through every six months or so when ” wedding and engagement” season is on. A bunch of newbees join or flock over from TK. Snark, snap judgments ,troll posts happen. Things mellow out on the bee towards August, because the new bees learn how to post, and the older bees either leave, lurk, or post occasionally.  I am willing to bet every bee has at least one big drama thread. 

I am actually shocked at how many people jumped on the troll wagons today. The hive is usually better than that. 

 

Post # 84
Member
144 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

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@imalittlebirdie:  I wasn’t singling you out. I read through the entire page of posts and by the end noticed alot of ppl saying the same things- that newbees are usually trolls or are usually snarky, that we post really framatic stuff, etc. I saw the same mentality from several ppl.

 

I’m just asking you guys not to make those assumptions. I am part of other pages where we do deal with trolls, etc as well so I’m familiar with the pain of dealing with them… But I also don’t accuse people of being trolls because they are newthem or do I look down on new members.

 

im not trying to ruffle feathers, I just now feel somewhat wary about posting some of my questions because of this post and the judgements that were passed.

Post # 85
Member
5217 posts
Bee Keeper

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@CiaArielleNeugebauer:  well everyone was a new bee at one point,  so they can’t be too judgy. I find that as long as you’re a productive member,  even if the post count is low it’s,  still as productive and helpful as active members. I definitely give people the side eye if they’re new and only post about sex positions or how small their 3ct diamond is 🙂

Post # 86
Member
5398 posts
Bee Keeper

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@CiaArielleNeugebauer:  when you’ve been here for a while, I think you will understand better some of these comments. When I was new, I thought everyone was such a bitch but I decided to stick around and now I am not bothered at all by any one poster repeatedly (you will always find comments you don’t agree with or that seem in poor taste given the situation). I think you just have to get used to the ebb and flow around here.

 

Also, don’t be afraid to post any wedding related topics at all. The raised eyebrows come when a new poster starts emotional, highly dramatic topics one after another. And often if they’re about sensitive issues like potential abuse or something, they will have a lot of genuine concern. I don’t think most regulars care much about post count, unless it’s someone’s very first post and it seems fishy. There are a lot of trolls that come and go. Don’t take it personally.  

Post # 87
Member
2649 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

I agree. I dont look at part count unless it’s an Ultra dramatic  thread with lots of spelling/ grammatical errors/ no paragraphs. If they have less than 5 posts…. Something strange is usually happening. 

 

my very first post was a ” the sky is falling on my head post”, they happen, that’s life. But if all of your posts are ” Ahhhhhhh!” posts and you don’t comment on anyone elces posts ever… Again that’s a bit weird.

 

It’s not just new bees that do this, there are some older bees that make puppet accounts just to stir the pot. I don’t think any have happened in a while but every so often.

ETA: I hadparagraphs in here I promise 

Post # 88
Member
2877 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

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@CiaArielleNeugebauer:  I say this with love and support…calm down. Lol. Just because people are making observations about new Bees, it doesn’t mean ALL new Bees. FWIW, I’m just too lazy to type out “some of the new Bees but definitely not all of them.” Generally, if a Bee sticks around long enough to get past 500 posts, she has usually learned the general tone of the Hive and is less likely to get all hysterical or very snarky. Sure, some of ladies are more blunt, but I can see a difference between veteran snark vs rookie snark. Most of the time. There are definitely some veteran Bees from whom I stay away.

 

I definitely second the idea of being wary when someone only posts on their own threads and very sparsely at that. If I see a thread has like 100 posts, but the OP still has a blue background, I definitely wonder about her (or him as the case has been a few times recently). I like to give people the benefit of the doubt, but if s/he doesn’t come back after a couple of days, I give up the ghost.

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