New puppy, feeling so guilty. Advice needed.

posted 3 months ago in Pets
Post # 31
1401 posts
Bumble bee

I should add I also don’t think you need to set alarms and get up every two hours to toilet train your dog, we never did that with our puppy and she was toilet trained very quickly. We stopped giving her water for a few hours before bed, took her out right before we went to sleep and then would wake up with her if she barked in the night, which happened maybe once or twice a night max for the first few months.

Sometimes we would come down and find some wee on the floor when maybe we hadn’t heard her or she didn’t bark to be let out, but accidents happen and it’s why she was kept in the kitchen at night, so we could easily mop it up. Accidents will also happen occasionally even after she’s fully house trained, it’s just part of the course of having a puppy. But you shouldn’t need to be waking up five times a night or setting alarms every two hours imo unless you absolutely cannot stand the odd accident. 

Post # 32
6448 posts
Bee Keeper

We have a golden and when we got him he was nearly 3 months old and mostly crate trained.  Meaning at night if we let him out late 12am, we could get away with him staying until 5am.  But he had free access to pee all day and restricted fluids after the final pee time before bed.  My husband would let him out for the 12am and I would let him out for the 5am.  It’s an adjustment, but it’s only been a week and you’re already thinking of giving up?  Give yourself more time and give the puppy more time as well.  It won’t be forever. 

Post # 33
39 posts
  • Wedding: September 2018

I understand your frustration very well because I know from my own experience how hard can be caring about our pets. Only several months ago my cat became ill and I needed to spend really much time with treating it, I was very worried too and didn’t have much time for sleeping because of this too. That was difficult for me but after all we overcame this (now he’s healthy again!).
So your feelings, fatigue and negative emotions are ok in this case. It’s seen from your post that you both really care about your puppy and that’s the most important. It’s very good that you read earlier about dogs’ caring and growing, there are really many good resources about this but reading about something and experiencing it later in real life are really different things. And it’s ok if you can’t overcome this now, you just need to be patient.
Try also to look through vets’ recommendations in this case or read about other dog’s owners experience too, maybe you’ll find some ideas for making easier this period for your family. Again don’t give up and just wait! I believe that everything will be ok for you.

Post # 34
8450 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

Well idk, l left a long sympathetic post a couple of days ago, even referencing my own ‘Another Dog’ thread on the Pets board but it has disappeared…

But l will just add now that if you don’t like crates, (l know many people, especially Americans do,) but l don’t and have never used one and we toilet trained just fine.

Yes l had to get up a couple of times at night for a few weeks, but she has a dog door and once she had got the hang of that, she took herself out- not without a few accidents of course!  I feel about dog doors like some people feel about crates, can’t imagine not using one. 



guiltyanonbee11 :  

Post # 36
738 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2019

As someone who also recently got their first puppy I wanted to reassure you that you can do this and remind you that it’s normal to struggle a bit. Some days when my puppy is biting a lot or is being rather naughty I question my ability to be a dog momma. But we are strong and we will get through this. I believe in you!

Post # 37
13 posts
  • Wedding: August 2020

My puppy is 5.5 months old now and let me tell you…. the first few weeks were tough. My partner woke up for the 3am potty break and i had the 5:30am awake puppy. It was tough. After having him for 3-4 weeks we stopped with the middle of the night breaks and that relived a lot of stress. It’s tough… i know but hang in there because it will be worth it. As of this week, our puppy can stay in the crate all day with no breaks while we are at work. I promise it will get better. 

We also found keeping him on the main floor elimanated any accident’s since that is where his crate is. We are slowly bringing him to other parts of the house for longer periods so he’s use to it and associating the whole house as his “home” not just the living room. 


Post # 38
226 posts
Helper bee

guiltyanonbee11 :  Life won’t always be perfect, if going through (somewhat) tough times makes you want to give away your pet you probably shouldn’t be a pet owner. If you can find a good home for this poor pup I suggest you do, but if you can’t please do your best for it.

Also it’s only been a week, puppies grow fast but of course when they’re very young they get lonely or frightened at night, they would still be with their mothers if they were wolf pups! 

Post # 39
973 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2019

barbyq :  so now we revive old threads to shame more people about their pet ownership? What was the purpose of commenting here?

Post # 41
90 posts
Worker bee

My puppy did this.

I gave her melatonin in a double dose in the organic form, and she slept like a baby. Also, taking them running during the day helps to wear them out before bed. Dogs love routine! So it’s key to help her wind down before bed. This is very crucial because they are used to sleeping with their litter mates and need to be trained to protect and relax when you’re not around.

Aside from considering a trainer, seek some resources of how to help her tire out before bed and how to help her become set to a routine. These two things will help tremendously. I assure you. 

Post # 42
145 posts
Blushing bee

hockeybee0104 :  barbyq apparently loves to shame people for just about everything.  was not surprised to see another snarky comment from her.

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