(Closed) new to sex

posted 6 years ago in Intimacy
Post # 3
1778 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

I think the more you do it and the more you practice and figure out what you like, the more you will enjoy it.  The point that you say “just suck it up” and do it kind of tells me that maybe sex is not that good for you (yet).  Try some more foreplay, talking about fantasies, and just in general taking things a little slower during your sessions.  If sex is something that you really like, then you will WANT to make time for it.


I wish you the best of luck!

Post # 4
4272 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

@hecallsmelove:  most men would settle for a BJ……

Post # 5
4755 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

there are certainly times I “suck it up” and do it despite me wanting to RATHER sleep.

there are also times he leaves me be and sleep than what he would RATHER do: bone.

So a nice compramise. Sometimes you do, sometimes you don’t.

Post # 7
4 posts
  • Wedding: August 2009

My wife and I stayed virgins until marriage too.  It will get better as you do it more.  You have to take time and experiment together.  In the meantime, don’t force yourself to do it all the time, but try to do it at least a couple times during the week.  I think it will kelp you get into a nice rhythm.


Also, definitely experiment with foreplay when you have time (BJ and otherwise).  Good luck!

Post # 8
1925 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013 - Old Stone House in Brookyn

I’m going to get nosy… Wink

If you are not up to “BJ level”, does that mean you aren’t getting any oral action either? Because that may well improve your opinion of having sex all the time!

Post # 10
1425 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2013 - Rosehill Community Center

I think scheduling it might help.  If even you, mentally, set a mid-week day or two each week to be sex-day, it’ll help get you in the mindset when evening comes.  You don’t even have to tell him about your little schedule, just plan to go to bed a little earlier maybe and have him join you.  After awhile, it probably will just feel normal to have sex more frequently during the week.  And try not to get too sucked into a routine!  Switch things up, try to find things you want to try, and ask him what he might like to someday try.  

Post # 11
7291 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011

So you don’t want sex during the week because you are too busy to enjoy it ( or you literally don’t have a spare minute?), or do you just maybe not want to do it/take it slow but you feel like since he is your husband you should be  doing it to please him?

Like any part of the relationship, you usually have to find and make  time πŸ™‚ Maybe pick and evening or two, and dedicate it to intimacy and a movie, or dinner and some snuggling and let it flow. Or get a book with some activity and position suggestions, and pick one to experiment with. There is no wrong way to have sex, as long as you are both willing and enjoying it. Make sure you are finding out what satisfies you πŸ™‚ Its easy to tell when your husband has orgasmed ( physical evidence: ejaculate) , but not so much for the wife πŸ˜‰

Post # 12
3254 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

It will become more second nature the more you do it, but if you continue to be squeamish about it and avoid it, it will become more of an issue. Make sure to have plenty of foreplay before intercourse, or I’m sure it will feel forced to you. Don’t even put BJs on the radar yet; you need to get used to simple, missionary-style sex before changing it up. πŸ™‚ It will be okay!

Post # 13
240 posts
Helper bee

OP, don’t stress yourself out too much over this issue! Like you said, you’re working up to things, which I think is fine. πŸ™‚ 

I will however, second the opinion that you should let your hubby go “down” on you. If you’ve never let him do that before you will be pleasantly surprised! It’s definitely unlike anything else, and it feels very, very good!

As far as the BJ thing goes – personally they’re not my favorite because they can be a lot of work. Also, I tend to not have very good rhythm, but this could be because I”m not really into giving BJs in the first place. My SO jokes that I’m the worst in this area he’s ever had…but he still asks for them on occasion so that should tell you something. You should definitely try it out sometime. You can always just do it for 2 or 3 minutes during foreplay. You don’t have to make it into this huge half hour ordeal. πŸ™‚

Also, if you’re up for this sort of thing, bring a toy into the bedroom (such as a vibrator) takes a lot of the “work” out of sex. πŸ™‚


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