Post # 1
I just joined the site today, so I’m definitely a newbie. I’m setting up this Board to get some insight from all of you wise and experienced Bees. Here’s the backstory: SO and I have been together for 4 years this June. In that time, we have experienced our fair share of ups and downs: two work promotions, one new job, births and deaths in our respective families, some issues within our own relationship, and so forth. Long story short, we’ve managed to weather the storms and come out of them stronger. I never really gave a great deal of thought to engagement until year 3. I casually brought it up at that point, still unsuspecting. But now, as we’re swiftly approaching year 4, its ALL I can think of. I’ve witnessed countless friends get engaged, married, and starting families, most of which relationships began at the 2/2.5 year point or under. SO and I went out seriously looking for e-rings at the 3.5 year mark. I always thought I was set on cushion-cut diamonds, only to come to the realization that soon after, I actually prefer oval diamonds. In September of last year, we made a couple of trips to look at e-rings, and Bees, I found THE ONE.. my dream ring!! I walked out of the jewelry store feeling awesome and accomplished! That was 7 months ago. Fast forward to present, and I’m still here sans e-ring. I’m beginning to lose hope, and I’m starting to question EVERYTHING. For crying out loud, I turn 30 in September and he is currently 37. We’re not 20-somthings just starting out… We’re grown-ass adults, and I don’t know what the hell is going on… Which leads me to my initial question: How long after picking out your e-ring did you get engaged?
Bees, please share your thoughts, stories, and insights… because I’m literally at a loss.
With hope, love, and honeybee wishes,
Your fellow Bee,
Post # 2
I picked out my ering, it was bought and on my finger the same day.
Why don’t you ask him what’s taking so long? Has the ring actually been purchased or could he be saving for it?
Post # 3
We picked it out together in June. He went back the next week and purchased it and he hid it in a box in our coat closet until proposing in December.
Post # 4
It was 5 weeks between us going ring shopping and the proposal. But the ring was bought off Etsy. I gave fi my favorite things, yellow gold, sapphire, antique, and he got me the perfect ring for me.
Post # 5
Hm, I picked out my setting and within 1-2 months my husband purchased it. It was another 5 months before he proposed.
Post # 6
There’s a ton of threads about this – pretty sure I saw a different one yesterday. You will find answers vary from a few hours, to some aholes have had the ring for months and the girl is just waiting and waiting.
But ill answer – 1 month. My husband was waiting on other components for the proposal he had planned.
Post # 7
I helped pick out my engagement ring in February 2015 and my husband proposed in July 2015. He wanted to propose on a camping trip so had to wait till summer and my mom was going through some serious health issues in May/June so his plans kept getting postponed while I was dealing with that.
We dated for 7 years before getting engaged. I saw so many friends/family members get engaged, married, start having kids while we were dating. But I will never regret waiting until it was the right time for us, though we were younger (engaged at 25).
7 months is a fairly long time to hold onto the ring. Do you have any big vacations or anniversaries coming up? Is it possible he’s waiting for a special date? I also think it’s okay to ask him what’s up.
Post # 8
I mean…I’m not trying to panic you but I dated a guy for 5 years, picked out an engagement ring with him, was told that the proposal was coming up…and then I got dumped a few months later lol. It turned out that he didn’t want to be with me and he was just leading me on because he wanted to make me happy…which I know doesn’t make any sense, but that was his logic.
We were much younger at the time than you though, so it was 95% immaturity. You guys are adults, so just ask him! At this age and after dating for that long, it’s totally fair for you to want to know what’s going on in his mind!
Post # 9
We dated almost 8 years (now it’s over 8 years) when we got engaged. He proposed three months after he purchased the ring and 2 months after we picked it up. Those three months felt like an ETERNITY and trust me, I was going crazy wondering when.
FI’s friend bought a ring 6-7 months in advance before proposing because he had to pay it off first. When he showed us the ring, he had only made one payment on it and was planning a big public proposal with their friends and family all there months later in the summer.
When you picked out your ring with him, did he actually order it and put money down on it that moment, in front of you? If so, was there any mention of a payment plan? He may be trying to pay off the ring. If he didn’t purchase it in front of you, maybe casually bring it up to him: “Hey remember when we looked at rings a few months ago….”
He also could just be trying to plan a proposal. Could be a number of reasons. I don’t see a problem with asking him. Good luck!
Post # 10
- Wedding: St. petersburg, FL
We dated for 3.5 years and picked out our ring together in October of 2017. He proposed last week! So it took him… five months after picking out our ring before it was on my finger. I was very open with him about being on the same page and how important that was for me, so I would suggest bringing it up to him and having a serious talk about it. Good luck!
Post # 11
We went the custom route, which took a while (between sourcing stones, going back and forth with the jeweler on design and CADs, and of course, fabriciation.). Once both rings were complete, we publically declared ourselves engaged and started wearing them.
My ring was finished abot 5-6 weeks before my FI’s ring, so I did have to wait a bit, but it was the right/fair thing to do. Those 5-6 weeks sure seemed to crawl by slowly, though!
Post # 12
We’d been dating for 3 years when he purchased the ring. We got engaged a little over a year later. It was agony and there were a couple of fights during that time because I knew the ring was in an upstairs closet. It took everything in me not to start screaming, “SET THE DATE”. In the end I wanted him to be ready and want to propose (which happened this past Saturday). I’m not sure why it took him so long. But he said he’d give it to me when he was ready and he’s ready now. He’s divorced with two kids so I accept that his process took a little longer. It’s much easier for me to be gracious now with the ring on my finger.
Post # 13
sweetp88 : We had the talk about a year ago and then looked at rings I think over the spring of 2017. We had discussed gettting married sometime in 2019 and then a bunch of financial stuff happened and we’re not in any rush.
He tried purchasing it a few weeks back (maybe longer like 3 months) but it didnt come in on time b/c of delays getting it in from the jeweler- I’m unclear if that’s because he picked out a custom ring…if the size he wanted, etc I have no idea.
So now he has the ring and I’m not sure when it will happen but I know it will be very soon – probably before my 32nd birthday I’m expecting which is in August.
We have been dating for about 2.25 yrs now (anniversary was in December).
Post # 14
My heart goes out to you as you wait anxiously for such an exciting moment for both of you!
My now fiancé and I picked out my e-ring in January/February and he proposed in July. We are in our early twenties and we’re still in college so he was making payments on the ring and diamond so he didn’t have to go into debt for it. This may be the case for your SO?
Post # 15
My fiance picked out a ring and ordered it and once it arrived he proposed a week later. We had been looking for rings for a long time too, we started looking last June and I just got engaged this week.