(Closed) New To the Bee! Long Engagement?

posted 5 years ago in Emotional
Post # 2
Member
619 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2016

Why are you waiting that long? I’ll have a 2 yrs and a half engagement, and I find it incredibly long already!! We waited because of long-distance and studying.

Post # 4
Member
4 posts
Wannabee
  • Wedding: December 2016

Personally, I feel it is up the Bride and Groom. If that is what works best for you, then you should do that. I will be engaged for nearly 2 years before I am married. 🙂

Post # 5
Member
403 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

SherryB:  I’ve been engaged for 6 years (will be on May 1st) mainly because life had to continue whether we could get married or not. We are both in our mid-30’s with kids though. 

Anyway, as PP said how long of an engagement you have is your decision, no one else’s business. I would, however, not worry too much about planning beyond getting ideas of what you want and saving money. As you said, many are not even going to talk to you at this point in time. 

Post # 6
Member
98 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2016

With an engagement that long, I would imagine you could take a year (or more!) to just enjoy being engaged. You can visit venues, research photographers, and make solid if unfinalized plans. Then as soon as you can start booking you’ll be ready. It might make for much less stress to already have plans in place!

Post # 7
Member
230 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2016 - Ed Oliver Golf Club, Wilmington, DE

SherryB:  Hi! My fiance and I are having a pretty long engagement, a bit over 2 years (28 months) to be exact. We did it for similar reasons to yours, and it can definitely be frustrating at times, but it can also be a huge advantage. We have been able to really secure all of the vendors we want, stretch out payments, and DIY projects, focus on us and not just rushing the wedding. We just started looking at venues now that we are one year out, and I already have a dress/church/photographer.  Enjoy!! Message me if you want to talk or have any questions!

Post # 8
Member
9286 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

We’re going to have an incredibly long engagement (don’t even know when we might get married) and we were together for over 7 years before getting engaged last Fall. It’s fine for us since we consider ourselves married already… we’re just enjoying the ride.

But anyway, I agree with PPs that making any definite plans (i.e. putting down non-refundable deposits, signing contracts, etc.) more than a year out is prob not a good idea because you’ll probably change your mind 37.4 times before now and then. But in the meantime, you can pin your heart away and get ideas! Just enjoy it the time and it’ll fly by.

Post # 9
Member
145 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: City, State

SherryB:  Fiance and I got engaged last October (so over a year ago) and our wedding date is currently in May or June of 2017. We keep changing our mind on whether or not we want to do it that summer or wait until the fall… But still a long engagement! I’ve actually loved having this much time… It’s given me the chance to snap up some items on sale or clearance that I wouldn’t have gotten otherwise. For example, I got a kit to print our own invitations (FI is going to school for computer science so they should turn out fine!) at Goodwill for a whopping 80 cents for 150 invites. I also got all of the fabric and the pattern for my grandma to custom make my dress for less than $200 because I could pick up pieces of lace here and there on clearance. 

Long engagements can seem like they take forever, and I’ve gotten frustrated with feeling like it’s taking forever for our wedding to get here sometimes. But as far as everything else? It’s a great money saver and gives us TONS of time to do some pressure-free planning!

Post # 10
Member
953 posts
Busy bee

I’m going to have a 2+ year engagement as well. 

First we decided money and family priorities came first (my father has cancer and is very sick and I’m scared to leave the country and I want a destination elopement) we had decided to get married in winter 2017 but now we decided to try for a baby in the next 6 months and that pushed our wedding as we want to bring baby with us but want baby to be a minimum of 1 year so maybe now we are looking at 2018. But NOW I found out my sister may have infertility issues (multiple issues at that) and after I have my baby I may end up surrogate for her. That gives her two more years to try and go through all her procedures.  I’m turning 38 so my eggs are waning and we will have to use hers and we have to do this before I’m too old. So now I don’t know.  Hopefully we get married between when my baby is over a year and my uterus is accepting for my sisters baby. 

I’m not really that worried. We have the rest of our lives to get married. I have my heart set on an intimate destination wedding but I don’t know if that’s going to happen after everything. We will see. I’m not really in a rush. The commitment and love is there. 

Post # 11
Member
8583 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

SherryB:  That’s an enormous length of time!  I mean , it isn’t if you are not fussed about whether  you get  married or not, but you seem to be already on the venue/wedding planner train so I assume you want all the bells and whistles. ( and why not – I’m not attempting to judge, as pps have said, whatever you want is your business  )

Is that why you are planning  to wait all this time , to save up for it ? Just wondering, because you say you both want to wait, so why the rush to book etc?

Post # 12
Member
9759 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2019

It is completely up to you why you want to have a long engagement, some people may not understand it but you don’t have to explain yourself to anybody!

I agree with PPs on waiting until closer to book venues etc. However you can start with general planning (colour scheme, guest list, etc) whenever you want to!

Fiance and I have been engaged nearly 3.5 years, originally planned on getting married this year but now looking at 2017, so over 5 years! You are certainly not alone with long engagements on this board!

Post # 13
Member
1406 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

Have you told people that you are engaged? If not, keep quiet about it. Once you tell people, so many family and friends will want to plan the wedding for you and tell you what to do. Figure out with your fiance what you guys want.

Start figuring out costs, budgets. How big you want it to be. There are so many details to a wedding,

You can save money for it, too.

Post # 14
Member
198 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2017 - Northern Territory, Australia

I have been engaged for almost a year now and still over two years left. We decided to have a long engagement due to me being in University and doing Honours and not making a lot of money.

We have only just started getting quotes and some places are not allowing us to book and put deposits now. What we are doing is saving and then when we can put money (finally) down it won’t just be the minimum – it will be what we would have being paying off so there is less to pay off. This might not work for everyone.  

We have been lucky that throughout the year our vision has not changed and we are doing what many PPs have suggested – searching for deals that those with a smaller engagement will miss. 

Love being engaged to my FI!! And when the big day does finally arrive it will be all so worth the wait to marry him:P 

Post # 15
Member
10997 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: City, State

My, that is a long engagement!  On the upside, you’ve got lots of time to plan.  And plenty of time to save money.  It would be great for you to be able to have the wedding of your dreams without having to go into debt.

What kind of wedding do you want?

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