- 8 years ago
- Wedding: September 2012
Actually not that new to the boards either. I’ve been trying really hard to not be a completely neurotic girlfriend (BF mentioned that I was bringing up the engagement talk too much. 🙂 so I’ve been reading the stories of other ladies in waiting to try and comfort myself that yes, everyone goes through this, and yes there are happy endings!
Some back story: Boyfriend or Best Friend and I met after college. We get along fabulously–same thoughts on the important issues, same sense of humor, same tastes in movies, etc., but we’re able to talk about our differences or sticky topics without a lot of arguing. The one thing we can’t talk about is our relationship. Because he is completely unable to talk about his emotions. Like a normal guy but like x 10. After we were dating for a couple years I was wondering where this relationship was going and he told me that for him the next step was moving in, and that was a big step for him because he had never lived with a girl, and that if he moved in with one it meant he would marry her.
Well, imagine my delight when a year later he asked me to move in! It was actually a big surprise to me–he hadn’t mentioned anything about it, we hadn’t really talked about it and boom! “Do you want to move in?”
So can you blame me for thinking an engagement wasn’t far behind? (Providing that one of us didn’t kill the other because we realized we were terrible roommates…)
In the 2 years since (5 years we’ve been together) we’ve been able to talk about the reality of getting married (how would we handle finances/do we plan on living in this area for long/kids/house etc) but not about when. If I bring it up he makes a joke or changes the subject. I finally was like: “Look, I want to get married before I’m 30, and I’m going to want a year to plan. Is that a possibility?” And he thought for a while (in silence!) and finally said: “Yes.” (A man of many words…)
I’m 28 right now so that doesn’t leave much time left.
I’m super jealous of you ladies who have either been ring shopping, or even know that he has the ring already! He also told me once he would never take his girlfriend ring shopping. That he would want to pick it out himself and have it be a big surprise. I’m fine with this in theory–he has great taste in jewelry–but it means that I won’t even have an idea if it’s coming soon. :
Anyway. That got really long, sorry to bore with all the details. My Boyfriend or Best Friend is getting his master’s at the moment (part time…he’s still working full time) and I know he’s under a lot of stress and pressure from that. I’m trying to keep the engagement/wedding stuff to a minimum until he graduates. I don’t want to add more to his plate, and I want a future engagement/wedding to be a joy, not an added burden. But I need a place to dump all my craziness and I think my friends are getting bored with the topic. 😛