(Closed) New to the hive! engaged and looking for advice!

posted 8 years ago in Weddingbee
Post # 3
8353 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2011

Hello and welcome to the bee πŸ™‚

And congratulations!!!

I am doing a lot of DIY to save money. If you look through my posts, you can see what I have done so far. Right now I am in the process of making the bridesmaid dresses.

Post # 4
438 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Honestly, the best place I have found is right here! I’ve gotten so many ideas from the boards its ridiculous.  theknot.com is also a very helpful website!

Congrats on the engagement!

Post # 5
18643 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

Welcome to weddingbee!  There is so much advice that people could give you right now, that it’s hard to just pick out one thing!

Post # 6
1403 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

Ooh the list of advice can get pretty long haha!  Right now the best advice I can give is to hammer down your guest list ASAP.  You’d be surprised how long it takes to get the list finalized with your parents.  The number of guests is the first thing you need to know before you can select a venue because size really does matter.  πŸ™‚

Post # 7
1465 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Sit down with your fiance and make three lists: 1st list is your must haves, 2nd list is nice to have but can do without it for whatever reason, and 3rd list is things you don’t want and don’t care about.

As far as your guest list, decide whom you cannot imagine spending the day without. If that means you don’t invite certain relatives who don’t care about you and vice versa, then do that and don’t invite anyone out of obligation or because someone is giving you a guilt trip if you don’t invite them. Your guests should be your nearest and dearest who truly love you and support your relationship. For that reason, try to invite just people who are currently part of your life.

Be aware that anything labelled “wedding” is 100x more expensive and can often be lesser quality than the same item found elsewhere in the store that does not say “wedding” anywhere on the packaging.

Rent whatever you can from your florist. Do not buy glass items online because the shipping charges are astronomical and there is nothing to prevent them from getting damaged in the mail.

DIY can sometimes be cheaper and sometimes it ends up being more expensive, especially if you require fancy materials and/or you have no crafting ability or patience. Your time is money so be realistic about what your abilities and patience level allow for.

 Proper etiquette is in place for a reason, and it is not outdated despite what many will tell you. Traditions which are something else entirely can be adjusted to fit your needs and you can nix them entirely if you want.

Post # 8
950 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

First, remember that you’re really planning for a marriage that will last a life-time, not just a wedding that lasts a day.  Be mindful that how you act during planning should be a true reflection of who you are going to be as a spouse, and, by extension, how your Fiance acts should be a reflection of how your Fiance will be as a spouse.

I like a LOT of what @Selene221 said…my only suggestion would be to do it a little backwards: start (with your Fiance, together discussing this, not separate) with imagining money were no object…What would be GREAT to do if you could?  If you could invite EVERYONE you know, who would you include?  Etc…then, from there, follow all the same steps that @Selene221 mentioned.  You’ll be surprised what you and Fiance can come up with together & what might be important or inspiring to your Fiance…and how you might find ways to make it happen on your budget.  Speaking of budget…figure that out next (before deciding what you must have or even who must be there): if you had no one else to rely on, how would you & Fiance pay for it?  i.e. what amount can you both save a month?  If you are willing to ask for money or are lucky enough to get an offer, how much are each of your willing to accept/ask for?   * THIS IS ALL BRAINSTORMING* 

Once you’ve got all the brainstorming done…take a break & come back to it (make a “date” to do so).  Nothing needs to be decided right this instant.  Then, on your “date,” start the actual decision making discussions (plural…this is an on-going process), like must-have guests (I agree with @jenbrandner that this is THE most essential decision for BUDGET), must-have wedding details, & must-have events (pre-wedding, post-wedding & who’s paying for each). 

Next, discuss with your Fiance what each of your roles/responsibilities will be…choosing each of these TOGETHER will help avoid responsibility & communication issues later.  Then, have fun & get productive.  After each task has been tackled, communicate with each other how it’s going, what the difficulties are & ask for advice (& don’t offer until asked or ask if Fiance wants advice before offering), celebrate accomplishments…have FUN.  Mr. & I still talk about how fun, not only the wedding & all it’s related events were, but how fun it was to plan & how great it was that it went so well.  It’s important that your marriage have THIS kind of good start…wedding planning doesn’t have to have a LOT of stress.  Good Luck!  Oh!  And welcome to the Bee!


Post # 9
1000 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

Remember ABOVE ALL that the most important thing is that you two are in love and getting married. A wedding is just a day and a piece of paper. Celebrate it, but don’t let your plans to do so ruin the actual think your are celebrating to begin with. Oh yeah, and WB is awesome! Let your future bridezilla loose here. πŸ™‚

Post # 10
31 posts

Luckily, you got engaged during the height of wedding season when lots of brides will be reselling their attire/decorations/etc for a bargain! Look in the classifieds here, Craigslist, and Ebay to scoop up useful stuff.

Post # 11
1465 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Also, when shopping online (especially Ebay), pay close attention to shipping charges. Often they will be more expensive than the item itself. In many cases, you will actually save money by shopping locally. Walmart has a huge craft section and is the best prices you will find. Joann’s is middle of the road as far as prices. Michael’s is actually very expensive for the same items at the other two stores.

Don’t be afraid to browse thrift stores for jars, etc for decoration if you don’t want to rent from your florist.

Post # 12
282 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

Congrats and welcome! πŸ™‚

I haven’t really done a whole lot of planning yet, but here’s what I did learn. Figure out your venue ASAP. My Fiance and I waited until about 3 months after we were engaged (which is still a little over a year away from the wedding!) and our perfect venue was already booked up totally. We managed to get another great place, but just barely! So, get on that fast!

Post # 13
1418 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

Congrats and welcome!  Planning can get crazy and overwhelming so make sure you focus on why you are going through all this!  

There is so much advice to give haha…first I would say to discuss with your Fiance (and others who may be contributing to the wedding) what your budget is.  From there, I would look at venues and get one booked – that will essentially determine your date (unless you are set on a certain date and then you look for a venue that has that availibility).  Good luck!

Post # 14
333 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

Pick a venue that has lots of character already (read less decoration!), shop around for invites (I found mine from a local artist way cheaper than other places), a local flower farm for flowers (~$2500 worth from a formal florist for $400), watch for hidden fees/rentals.

Post # 15
81 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

Best advice that I got came from a male coworker:

“It doesn’t matter who is there except you, him, and your pastor.”

Now, we were discussing family members and friends who seem to want to sabatoge things, but this can be applied to anything… it doesn’t matter what guests come, who your caterer or photographer or videographer or even bridal party is… this day is to signify two souls becoming one. I have a cousin who backed out of being in my wedding so she could plan to have hers 2 weeks before mine, and a grandfather who refuses to come (but will be at said cousin’s) but if I let those things bother me, I wouldn’t be able to enjoy all the other stuff. So try not to stress over anything, just let it fall into place. πŸ™‚

And congrats!!!

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