Post # 1
Hi all! I’ve been buzzing around the site for awhile now, and finally felt ready to post, lol.
My bf and I have been together for 5 years and we have recently begun to seriously talk about getting engaged. I always thought that I would want the ring to be a surprise and I would want him to pick it out all on his own. But I started having mini-panic attacks (and sometimes nightmares, lol) about getting a ring that I didn’t like. I have been looking at rings for some time now and came across a beautiful one that I can’t stop thinking about. I really like the ring and I really want something like it. So I asked my bf how he would feel about me being apart of the ring buying processes. Thankfully, he was thrilled! He was also scared about getting something I didn’t like and he really doesn’t know the first thing about jewerlly.
I showed him a pic of the ring I like and he told me to do some research about where I could get it made (it will have to be custom made). I have been so excited about my ring that when I told some people about looking for my own ring, I was floored that they seemed weirded out by the fact that I was not going to be surprised when my bf proposed.
So to all you out there who helped pick out your e-ring, how did you actually feel when the proposal came? Since you knew it was coming because you bought the ring together, and you already knew what it was going to look like. Did it take the magic out of the proposal??
Post # 3
My Fi and i went ring shopping together. The proposal was still amazing. Don’t even think twice about it! I think that very few people are truly surprised during a proposal.
Post # 4
I think it’s quite common these days for the woman to have a lot of say in the ring.
Post # 5
I picked out my own ring, but that was after the proposal. I think I’d still feel the same though, even if he proposed after I picked it out. Remember, you’re marrying him, not the ring. You already said yes to the ring, now you just have to say yes to him. =)
Post # 6
- Wedding: November 2012 - Oak Tree Manor
Welcome to the bee!
Aww I think it’s really exciting to be involved in picking out your ring. I honestly don’t know the first thing about rings – I still don’t understand the three C’s, or how to explain different shapes – but when Mr. Wallaby and I went ring shopping together, I realized how much I loved around diamonds with eternity bands. So my ring was a little bit of a surprise, but I had some idea of what Mr. W was going to buy.
As for the proposal – it was definitely a surprise and still very, very emotional! Mr. W proposed on a trip to NYC for New Year’s Eve, so all of my friends thought he would propose on the trip – but the way he did it was a surprise and was very special. Even though I knew it had to be coming, it was very magical and a super special, emotional moment for the two of us. Good luck! 🙂
Post # 7
@LuckyinLove17: I designed my ring. My Fiance already had the center stone. He wanted to be sure I had something that I loved.
I designed it. He had it made and purchased it. I didn’t know when or where I would be proposed to, so it still had some surprise.
Post # 8
@LuckyinLove17: You can be as involved as you like.
Many people, myself included, want to be a part of the process. It’s a piece of jewelry you’re going to wear every day for the rest of your life… I think it’s fair to have a say in it.
If you’re worried what other people think, just don’t mention to them that you are helping pick the ring.
There are so many people on this site who hate their rings (although they love the sentiment that their guy picked it for them).
I don’t see why the proposal wouldn’t still be somewhat of a surprise. He knows what you want, and surely he can be trusted to work with the jewler? If your input is needed (when the ring is being made) then I guess you have to weigh the pros and cons. Would you rather have a piece of jewelry that is perfect or be surprised in your proposal? I’d definitely rather have the perfect ring. The proposal lasts a few minutes. Maybe I’m just not particularly romantic for this particular thing, but I don’t really get what the big deal is about having the perfect proposal.
I’m traditional but I see marriage as a joint decision. I think the guy should buy the ring, but I don’t see what’s wrong with simply agreeing to get married and him giving you the ring vs. ladies who are waiting for their men to be ready to propose. I guess I just don’t NEED the ring presented to me on a bended knee lol.
Post # 9
my dh wanted to know what kind of ring i wanted so that i would be happy. i told him what i liked and he got me exactly what i told him.
Post # 10
I think it’s super common nowadays but a lot of people, including our peers, don’t know that until they look into it. When I told friends I was getting engaged soon they were weirded out like, how does that work? How do you know? I on the other hand couldn’t imagine making the decision to marry someone in a split second surprise, or waiting silently for him to decide all on his own when we should get engaged. That’s twisted to me. I think discussing it and making plans beforehand is essential. And I didn’t like the common engagement ring styles so I was involved in ordering my ring bc he would have been really flying blind. Once I explained that to my friends they thought it made sense, they just hadn’t thought about it, even though they had other friends do the same. In this whole wedding process people are going to criticize you no matter what you do so just start ignoring it now, it’s good practice!
Post # 11
I don’t think a proposal should ever be a complete surprise. There are lots of things a couple should have discussed before getting engaged (like – do you both want to get married? have kids? where will you live?). Getting married should be a mutual decision.
I designed my own ring, my husband made the ultimate decision on the center stone, though I was always aware and told him my preferences and looked at them together.
The proposal was still a surprise in that I didn’t know when or how he would do it and it was still a wonderful moment.
Post # 12
I recently helped my SO pick out my ring and I am mostly glad I did! He had bought the center stone a week before we went to pick out the setting and I didn’t think he was at that point yet, so that was a surprise! The only downside for me is that he had picked out a set and sent me a picture of it and I told him it was pretty but I wasn’t sure how it would look on me because the band was thick. We found a set we both liked but I feela little guilty, like I should have just taken the set he picked out, even though he said that the one we ended up looks better on me. I am choosing to consider it one of many collaborations between the two of us! He hasn’t proposed yet and the when and how will definitely be a surprise and since I know what the ring looks like hopefully I will be able to pay more attention to the proposal and not be trying to look at the ring during the proposal lol! Honestly, I can’t wait to get that ring on my finger even though I know what it looks like I am still excited beyond belief!
Post # 13
You’re right! I never thought about being able to really be in the moment during the proposal becasue I won’t be concentrating on what the ring looks like. I also like the idea of it being a collaborative process. It seems romantic all on its own, no?
Post # 15
That’s awesome! I definintely told my bf that just because I am helping with the ring, he doesn’t get off the hook about the proposal, lol!
Post # 16
I helped a little. I requested a carat for the center stone, and that the metal be white gold. I wanted the center stone to pop. We went to the store and I picked out a few that I liked and he took it from there.