(Closed) New to the military lifestyle and preparing for the 1st deployment

posted 7 years ago in Military
Post # 3
Member
2 posts
Wannabee

My Boyfriend or Best Friend left this past weekend for a year+ in Iraq.  The anticipation of them leaving and the first time I came home to an empty house was the worst for me (so far)!  Before he left, I wrote more than a dozen letters and put them in a manila envelope with instructions that he couldn’t open the envelope til he got to his Mob station.  Each letter was written with a different purpose in mind, for example there are some labeled “Open when you miss home”, where I wrote about happy memories and included pictures of us together.  Some are labeled “Open when you are sad”, and they contain silly pictures of us or encouraging quotes and etc.  Some are for certain dates, like when he gets to Iraq, or our sons birthday.  I thought that would be a nice way for him to be reminded of us even when he couldn’t talk to us, and it helped me get rid of some of the negative energy before he left. 

Trust me, everything you feel about him leaving is normal, but it always helps me to think that thousands have done it before us, and thousands will do it after us!  Deployments aren’t easy, so stay busy, stay positive, rely on your friends and family, and enjoy your time together before he leaves.  He will be home before you know it!

Post # 4
Member
14 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: June 2013

We had been dating for about 3 months when my fiance-then-boyfriend had left for his first deployment to Iraq. He’s National Guard and had just finished his job training about two weeks before. I was still in the middle of my job training… and believe me I was crushed that he was leaving so soon. He’s been deployed since Feb, and we’re now getting ready for my first deployment as well.

Let me just say that email and Skype… are going to be your best friends! We’ve written letters every once in a while, but he really relies on my emails that we pass back and forth almost on a daily basis. Skype is helpful too, because at least then we get to talk face to face even though we’re thousands of miles away and its a little blurry.

Its not easy…. I’ve had moments for when I just am incredibly sad or agitated because I just want him here with me. 

I can’t wait until after my deployment ends next Sept… because then I get to be home with him and we will finally be married.

I spend a lot of my time between planning for my wedding and preparing for this dumb deployment.

Post # 5
Member
6015 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: March 2012

Ugh .. my ex-fi was deployed right after 9/11 and was gone a lot because of his skills.   He loved getting CD’s of me and my nieces, anything home made, don’t forget to send a little extra to the guys in his unit that won’t get anything.  umm.. books, mags, writting paper.  licorice keeps(it gets a little slimy but better than choc) I know they love hearing about day to day boring stuff we do.  good luck tho and it sucks at first but there’s tons of support out there!

Post # 6
Member
56 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

My husband deployed two months after I moved to where he was stationed – I didn’t even know my way around the town. It was really hard at first, but you start to develop a routine and it helps time go by a little more smoothly. Write him a lot, and send him care packages it helps keep their morale up. Luckily, people in the AF aren’t directly in the line of fire and their deployments go by quickly for them. My husband is in the AF but isn’t an officer and they keep themselves busy by working out a lot and reading. They work 12 hour shifts, then they have 12 hours off so their days go by quickly. The food isn’t that great, so send him a lot of yummy homemade treats and some snacks that he likes. The most important thing for them is to be supportive. Depending on where he is going, they can skype with you and make phone calls often. When my husband was in Afghanistan, they still had WiFi and he was able to take his phone with him and could use the WiFi on his phone to IM me and that helped a lot. I know a lot of girls on our base that purchase international texting on their cell phone plans when their husbands deploy so they can get the occasional “I’m okay” text if their husband’s can’t get to the phone. As far as myself, I just prayed a lot and kept myself busy going to school and getting on a schedule. It is doable, it just takes a lot of patience and endurance. Planning your wedding is something that will definitely keep you busy! Good luck!! 

Post # 7
Member
64 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

My then boyfriend was deployed to Afghanistan only 4 and half months after we started dating. We went through 8 months apart for two weeks together only for him to go back for another 3 months. It’s definitely a difficult situation, but getting through this has made our relationship so much stronger. 

My Fiance proposed when he was home for leave and I have found that talking to him about even just the littlest ideas about the wedding has definitely cheered him up when he is feeling down. I think including your future hubby in the wedding planning as much as possible while he’s away gives him some normalcy and helps keep both of you excited for your marriage instead of worried about the deployment.

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