Post # 1
First I want to thank you all, I’ve been lurking for probably about 1 week and some of the things that have been posted/said have been soo helpful for me!
I feel a little strange posting, but I’ll go ahead and talk a little about my/our story. I met my SO a 1.5 years ago, been dating for about 1 yr (not long compared to some here I know, but in my part of the country very common to be engaged at about 1 yr). Anyway, we started dating around the same time as several of our other couple friends (like within weeks of each other). This includes my very best friend (other than SO of course).
I know my SO would loved to be engaged soon, but he recently lost his job, so I know this isn’t an option right now. We’re dealing with it, and I’m trying to be as supportive as I can, given that the situation was out of both of our control. I know the situation is only temporary as he has a great education and has been working so VERY hard to find a new job. I’m so incredibly proud of him!
I have to admit though, its been hard watching my best friend plan her wedding. I’m so excited for her and I really like her Fiance. I’ve been dress shopping with her and everything, and I’ve felt very guity that even though I’m very happy for her, it has been very hard to be completely happy for her. Not to mention that she hasn’t been around as much so we haven’t had the girl time that we use to. My Mom really doesn’t understand why this is so hard for me and obviously I can’t really say anything to SO, I don’t want to make him feel bad.
I just wanted to say thank you, by reading these boards it has helped me feel a little better that others have gone through the same feelings I have. Hugs to you all!
Post # 3
Hi! Welcome to the boards 🙂 You’ll find a lot of love and support here…
Post # 4
Hi!! Wecome….I just recently joined too and it’s been great! The Bee’s here are wonderful and supportive!
Post # 5
@happy2bee: Hi! I am also new to these boards. I had a layoff in 2009 and I am still recovering from the financial hardship it caused me! I know first hand how tough the job market is no matter the skill & education level. SO is not exactly where he wants to be financially speaking and it DOES have a ton to do with when they feel comfortable proposing and moving forward. I, on the other hand have a pretty great job and am more comfortable financially than he is. That doesn’t mean I’m just rollin’ in cash, lol, but I can pay all my bills and still have $ left over for other things. Not many women admit this, although a few have on this site, but I am actually helping SO pay for a ring that I picked out. I will not pay for all of it, but I don’t mind chipping in for something I am going to have for the rest of my life. Plus there are PLENTY of things he can pay for later like deposit on our venue, wedding dress etc. It’s not an option for everyone, but even in financially tough times, there are still ways to get engaged and move forward. The way I see it is to stick by each other now. Because what if we had been married and one of us lost our jobs? Then what? How we would handle it then? So we are getting through obstacles together.
Post # 6
Thanks for the insight! There is actually more to this then I originally posted. I am actually helping with the costs of my own ring. I wasn’t going to say anything, but we are actually using a ring that has been in the family so it will be special to both of us and save on the cost. It needs a little repair work done so I’m simply asking that he pay for the repairs to it. And it’s more my requirement that he have a job first. I don’t want to enter marraige with that kind of stress as marraige is stressfull enough already.
Post # 7
hang in there! and welcome to the site.
Post # 8
welcome – and any anguish you feel just remember that we are going through too so your not alone!