Post # 1
Hey Bees, got a little happy emotional at the thought of moving from bee-in-waiting to wedding planning bee to married bee now to TTC bee 🙂
Anywho, I’ve been loosely following the POAS monthly posts and other charting/temping posts in prep for TTC myself. Maybe I’m just too ADD for all this but I just feel super overwhelmed by learning all of it and tracking. I’m an older bee and at the point where my pregnancy would be considered “geriatric”, so I probably should chart and temp, but everytime I read about it I get a mild panic attack. (Not really a panic attack but my eyes blur and my mind starts buzzing). I also know myself and know that my inner “A student” self would over obsess about the details of it all. I just want to go into TTC as relaxed as possible since I’m already prone to being anxious. And so much literature out there says the biggest thing is to relax with TTC. Any advice out there? Would be great to hear from TTC bees who aren’t tracking things.
And don’t get me wrong, I’m all for being as informed as possible, but something inside me says just go natural for the first six months and see what happens. But my concern is with my “advanced age” of almost 35 would that be a mistake? I know time is of the essence here so I’d hate to “waste” six months being hippy dippy about things only to not conceive and have no data to discuss with my OB in case there is a fertility issue.
Post # 2
I feel you bee. I was 35.5 when we started trying. How often do you have sex? If you think you can have sex every other day during the more likely ovulation window (say, the middle 2 or 2.5 weeks in a 28-day cycle), then you’re probably fine.
But not hitting the fertile window (~4 days a month you can get pregnant) is decidedly worse than being stressed, in terms of efficacy. For me, temping was a stress relief because I knew 1) I was indeed regularly ovulating and 2) we were doing it in the window – so I knew we were maximizing our chances.
Most people don’t bother with all that though, and most do end up pregnant as long as they have regular enough sex. So I think that’s the main variable.
Post # 3
My sis recommended some sort of ovulation strips?
Post # 4
Right now, honestly, maybe once a week. Part of that is due to BCP killing my sex drive. I’m going off those now and am beyond thrilled to have my sex drive back. DH also travels a lot for work and is often out of town for days in a row. Your comment about the fertile window being only ~4 days/month got me thinking: DH’s travel will greatly impact our TTC. So maybe I should temp since our days together will be limited?
Post # 5
Do you know what kind she used?
Post # 6
I’m currently 35 weeks with our first, but I was a TTC bee last year (actually, this time last year we were in our very first month of TTC). I’ve just turned 28 so didn’t feel the same pressures that you describe related to my age, but definitely still wondered if I should be charting/temping/all that. I wanted to avoid this for similar reasons to you – I didn’t want me inner “A student” self to start obsessing over evey tiny detail.
For the first 3 months, we basically didn’t do anything other than ensure we had sex regularly – particularly during what we thought was likely to be my “fertile window”. As I had come off the pill in May and my cycle was all over the place, I decided to try ovulation test strips in our 4th month because I was starting to think that we were missing our window (which seemed to change from month to month). That’s the month I got pregnant, so I think having a better idea of when I was ovulating definitely helped us ensure we were timing sex correctly.
I personally don’t think 35 is all that old to be TTC, so if you want to go 6 months without doing anything just to see how you go I say go for it. If you try for a few months and decide that you want to slowly introduce things, that’s perfectly fine too. Good luck!
Post # 7
I’m also brand new to TTC! I’m 31.5, hubby is almost 37. Getting my IUD removed at the end of the month, then trying while in France at the end of next month! I already know when I ovulate due to high EWCM. And it will be right while we are in France!!
If it doesn’t happen right away, I am going to try not to temp or use the strips until the winter. (Although drunk me went shopping on Amazon and bought both those items along with a Science for Babies book for when the time comes). And I have Pre-seed, too, because Amazon suggested “people usually bought these together”. Damn algorithm.
I guess all I need now is the diva cup and I’ll habe hit the trifecta.
Post # 8
I don’t but think you can just get them from the pharmacy. After her miscarriage she stopped temping. She got pregnant first month with these strips.
Post # 9
Is your cycle regular? If so, try 2-3 months “relaxed” with just BD every day or every other day for a 10 day span of time around when you might be most fertile. You don’t have to make a log of your cervical mucous (CM) or anything, just note when it is 2 weeks before your period is due and see if you have watery/egg white CM. Try every other day around that time.
If after 2-3 months you aren’t succesful, you can get one of these: https://www.walmart.com/ip/Clearblue-Advanced-Digital-Ovulation-Test-Predictor-Kit-featuring-Advanced-Ovulation-Tests-with-digital-results-20-ovulation-tests/23990924?athcpid=23990924&athpgid=athenaItemPage&athcgid=null&athznid=PWVUB&athieid=v0&athstid=CS002&athguid=466001f5-35e699e2-7299a968801212bb&athena=true to help see when you’re ovulating.
I think BD within 7 days before and 3 days after when you think you will ovulate is a good “relaxed” approach.
Personally, we didn’t try or prevent for a few months. We didn’t pay attention to timing. After 1 month of BD with timing and no luck, I am adding in some of the predictor kits and tracking. I think if we had BD paying attention to timing those past few months, it would have been better. I felt like I spent the time not really making use of it. But just BD in the fertile time (without tracking etc.) is a pretty relaxed but thoughful/targeted way.
Post # 10
You are not old and nor will your pregnancy be gieratric. I am 34 and 5 weeks pregnant with my second, I will be a month or so off my 35th birthday once baby is here. I was 32 when I has my first. By the way you were talking I thought you were going to say you were in your 40s.
It took me 2.5 years to get pregant with #1 and 6 months for #2. I have done a mix of temping and OPKs and doing nothing. #1 was concieved on a cycle where I did nothing and number #2 on a temp and OPK cycle.
Stress is the killer for TTC. it makes sex a chore and puts so much pressure on both partners. If I were you I would make sure you are having sex as often as possible and if nothing happens in 3 – 4 months then get the thermometer out so you can see when you ovulate. I would stop temping as soon as your app confirms ovulation (that is when you can start going nuts) For those first few months, perhaps take a note of how you feel on certain days. I know when I am ovulating now because I feel like superwoman on the day.
Post # 11
I feel you bee. It’s super intimidating when you’re first diving into this world and seeing all the TTC lingo on the poas boards. I had anxiety too, but for me the best way to combat that was by going balls to the wall with the science of TTC. I read Taking Charge of Your Fertility, which I highly recommend – you can read the relevant chapters about temping/charting in like 30-45 min and walk away feeling really informed. Seriously, in just a half hour of reading this book, I went from having no idea what “temping” meant or what cervical mucus really was to feeling like I had a total grasp on all of it and being excited to dive in.
I was 32 when we started TTC and had some anxiety about it because my mom struggled with infertility, which I worried I might inherit, and also I have short-ish cycles, which concerned me. I actually started temping and using OPKs a couple cycles before we began TTC, which really helped me feel like I had a handle on what my body was doing before the pressure of TTC actually began. Being able to pinpoint my fertile window and confidently identify when I ovulated gave me a sense of control over TTC, which helped ease my anxiety once we began. The simple fact of the matter is that timing intercourse effectively in your fertile window is the best thing you can do to improve your chances of conceiving quickly, and the best way to time intercourse effectively is to chart your cycle through temping.
That said, everyone is different obviously! If you feel like diving into the deep end on all of this is only going to worsen your anxiety, then I absolutely wouldn’t bother right away. If you and your husband have an active sex life as it is, you’ll be just fine. All you need to do is try to have sex every other day from the time AF ends until the next one begins (or at least every third day). You could try that for a couple cycles and if you’re not pregnant by then, you coudl consider getting more aggressive with charting.
ETA: As for your age, there’s just no way to know how that will impact your fertility until you start trying. I know several women in your age range who conceived super quickly. I also know women your age and even a lot younger who had a really rough time. I was 32 when we started and it took us six months, which included a miscarriage and two CPs, before we were successful. Six months is nothing, but it was a bumpy-ass road with the losses and going through that certainly took a toll on us. So, I’d go into it hoping for the best but also prepared for the possibility that it could take some time. Good luck!!
Post # 12
I totally get you bee. I’m 36, so I’m having a geriatric pregnancy and that seems so weird because I definitely don’t feel old. Oh well, we can’t pick their words lol.
I was planning to temp and use Opk sticks in June and was kinda looking forward to it. I like minutiae and details. But we ended up with a honeymoon baby. We’re still only 5 weeks in and I’m hoping he or she is sticky little rutabega. Just remember that all the temping and sticks do is show you when your fertile, the rest is on you and dh. Try not to stress and see what happens.
Post # 13
I charted and used OPKs from the get go cause I’ve always had long irregular periods and we didn’t have sex regularly like 2-3x a week. Charting actually kept me sane, rather than driving me insane cause then I could see if/when I was ovulating, and then after I did, we could relax on “forcing” some sexy time if we just weren’t in the mood.
I dont think temping is as stressful as it can sound. I found that I don’t actually need to wake at exactly the same time to temp, just as soon as I woke up whether it be 6am for work, or after sleeping in until 9 or 10am on the weekend, the temps were acurate enough to show the temp shift. And for me, the shift was very clear so there was no super crazy over analyzing needed.
Then we ended up having issues and needing fertility treatments, but I had my year or so of data showing that I was ovulating, timing it right and we had been unsuccessful so that helped move things along there too.
Post # 14
I am new to charting and temping and it IS overwhelming. I think charting/temping while TTC depends on you and your body. As PP asked, are you regular? Based on your BCP comment, I’m assuming you may not remember (I know I didn’t!). I would take a few months from when you are off the pill to just let your body do its thing. Then, you can probably estimate your ovulation with having to temp/chart. Also, don’t forget that lots of women get pregnant without it. If it’s not for you, then don’t push it. However, I have seen several on the TTC boards who picked up charting/temping when they went unsuccessful after a few cycles.
Remember, this is your journey. Do what’s comfortable for you.
Post # 15
I’d consider temping for 2-3 months to start and here’s why:
1) evenw ith a 28 day cycle, you aren’t necessarily ovulating on day 14. I’m around 27-28 days, but always ovulate on day 17-18. If I didn’t chart I would never be hitting my fertile window, and would think something was wrong when it was actually jus that we weren’t hitting the right days to have a great shot.
2) If it takes you longer than 6 mmonths at your age (which is hardly old in anyone’s book, but I digress), theoretically you’re ready to see an RE. Start testing, etc. Talk about stress when you don’t even know if you’re actually hitting the right days.
If you chart for even 3 months you’re likely to see patterns and then you can always back off if it’s too much.