(Closed) New trend to Thank You Cards?

posted 10 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 47
3315 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

Miss Manners doesn’t even approve of the folded white cards featuring ”thank you” embossed on the front in gold. When one of her ”gentle readers” asks how such abominations may be ”properly used” she responds, ”Over Miss Manners’ dead body.”  In her view, you write thank you letters on normal stationery.

We didn’t go to quite those extremes.  But we wrote a personal note in each of our thank-you cards, naming the gift specifically and saying something about how we planned to use it.  If a guest is going to take the trouble and expense of getting us a gift, the least we can do is write a few personal sentences in thanks.

Post # 48
2767 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

omg I got one of those too and I was so disgusted by it.  It is a very lazy excuse for a thank you note.

Post # 49
3978 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

We plan on using a picture of us from the wedding day but writing personal thank you notes on the back either thanking them for a specific gift or for their attendance.

Post # 50
2194 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

I think it is SO rude not to write at least something personal. We went to a wedding last year and had to travel and spend tons of money, so we did not buy them a gift right away (don’t worry, we definitely did within the 6 month timeframe!!). Anyway, we received a note a few weeks after the wedding that was a pre-printed card with “Thank you for the lovely gift and being in our lives” or something. I was so offended…especially since we didn’t even get them a gift!!! I takes a few days to write the notes–and it makes such a difference.

Post # 52
1166 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

View original reply
@eeper: Just to clarify – I totally agree with you. It’s not that I dislike the photocards. Heck, I used one myself (a folded one). It’s the mass photocard mailings with absolutely no handwritten messages on them, not even a signature, that I find offensive, whether it’s a thank you card or a holiday card.

View original reply
@2dBride: Miss Manners has lost all touch with reality! LOL  I can’t imagine a single one of my guests being offended (which is the point of following etiquette, no?) by anything less than a letter on normal stationery! I believe most will be offended, however, if I don’t include a personal message of some sort. And I think they will actually appreciate the photos on the front, as a reminder of the fun day/weekend we all had.

Post # 53
88 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

Ugh, I think this is awful.  My cousin’s wife did this; we got what looked like a Christmas card photo (think long rectangle that they print at Wal Mart, Walgreens, etc.) that said “thank you for the generous gift” and their picture.  NO handwritten not, nothing.  I think there was even a typed label on the envelope.  She tried to tell me how great and easy they were and how I should do them.  I smiled and nodded and thought–no way in hell!  They are tacky and lazy and my whole family talked shit on your for them!

Another thing I have seen recently is people having guests write their name and address on the thank you card envelope so the bride does not have to do it.  Seriously???!?!?!?  You invite people to a shower or wedding, accept their gifts, and then you can’t be bothered to write the address on the thank you card? Really?

Post # 54
251 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I’ve noticed this too, and have been so disappointed! Nice to see that others agree with me on this one! : )

My DH and I had thank you cards printed especially for our wedding thank you cards.  On the front was a picture of us with a line across the top that said “Thank you” and a bubble that said “John & Stacy”.

On the inside, the left side was blank and the right side had a little poem – A loving note can barely say
    all we felt that magic day.
    A heartfelt thanks
    is sent to you
    for your thoughtful 
    gift and wishes, too.

On the left side, we wrote a personal (and I tried to be as personal as possible – mentioned things like “Loved your… move on the dance floor., etc”) thanking them for celebrating with us and for the gift (which we also mentioned). 

I think, if your guests were willing to spend enough time & money to buy you gifts, you should spend enough time & money to thank them.  I know, it’s not fun, but it should be done! : )

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