Post # 1
I came across this board looking for answers about a wedding I’m going to, and since I’m going to three others this year and Maid/Matron of Honor in one of them, I thought I’d join.
I’m attending the wedding of a friend in late November. They just picked their colors- black and white with green accents. The dress I was planning on wearing is black with large ivory geometric shapes.
First question- I feel uncomfortable wearing this dress because I don’t want to look like I’m trying to look like a member of the bridal party, especially since my husband is a groomsman. I have one other dress that is the right level of formality- my bridesmaid dress from the groom’s ex-girlfriend’s wedding. They had a really painful break-up; he was talking about marrying her months after she told him it was over and started dating her now-husband. The groom wasn’t invited to their wedding, but I’m sure he’s seen the pictures. The dress isn’t particularly distinctive, so I don’t know if he’ll even notice, but I still have that uneasy feeling I get whenever her name comes up around him. So should I suck it up and buy or borrow another dress? Wear the old bridesmaid dress and hope he doesn’t recognize it? Or wear the black and ivory one and ignore what other people think?
Second question- should I wear the black and ivory dress to any wedding? At my (very etiquette-conscious) mom’s suggestion, I wore it to my cousin’s wedding last year and no one seemed to find it odd. But after searching the internet on wedding guest etiquette, I’m wondering if it is rude to wear a dress where ivory is such a prominent color to a wedding.
I know I’m probably blowing this out of proportion, but I’d appreciate any advice. Thanks!
Post # 3
First question: I wouldn’t wear it. It sounds like you’re really worried about it, so you’re going to end up feeling self-conscious and uncomfortable about it all night. Wear it to one of the other weddings you’ll be attending.
Second question: Can we see a pic of it? I think it’s okay to wear a dress with some ivory on it if it’s not particularly much, but it’s hard to say it’s acceptable if we haven’t actually seen it.
Post # 4
Well, this may be a bad sterotype but I seriously doubt any man is going to recognize a dress from someone elses wedding. And especially since it is his wedding, I think a guests dress is going to be the least of his worries.
Post # 5
- Wedding: October 2011 - Barn at Valhalla
I think a black and ivory dress is totally fine to wear to a wedding. As long as the dress isn’t all white or all ivory, I think you’re fine,
And, I doubt the groom will recognize the dress. Guys don’t think that way! My FH would not even recognize the bridesmaids’ dresses in our own wedding, I don’t think.
Good luck with your decision, and welcome to the hive.
Post # 6
@chasesgirl: Good point. I barely remember anything the guests at my wedding wore, except for a really slutty dress one of DH’s cousins wore because everyone kept calling her “Boobies” all night. Haha.
Post # 7
Thanks everyone! I don’t have a picture of the black and white dress handy, but it looks remarkably like this tunic, except for it having squares instead of circles- the proportion of black to white is the same:
Regarding the groom, you’re all probably right about him not noticing. The only thing that gives me pause is that he is actually really into fashion! But now that I think of it, I also remember very little of what the guests at my wedding wore. One of our mutual friends is a bridesmaid and very close to the groom, so I’ll probably run it by her, but I think the other dress will be OK.
Post # 8
That dress would be totally fine. Nobody would mistake you for the bride in it or think you were trying to upstage her, which is really the only issue with wearing white or ivory. If you have any doubts, I think the best thing to do would just be to call the bride (or shoot her an email) and ask if she minds.