(Closed) New Year’s Resolution – Not to say ‘M’ Word

posted 6 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
2893 posts
Sugar bee

I used to be a huge supporter of the “keeping your trap shut” tactic and I think it’s still useful in some cases – like if you’re mentioning marriage on a daily basis, maybe it’s a good idea to drop it for a while. But I stopped loving it as a solution when I personally found normal, healthy communication got me leaps and bounds ahead of where I would have been had I just kept my mouth shut. Don’t get me wrong. I self-censored to an extent. I didn’t need to know about the progress of our relationship on a monthly basis. But we did have a couple conversations (and when I say a couple, I literally mean a couple) over the course of last year that were very productive. We discussed our plans, our desires, our intentions, then left it at that. 

If you guys are on the same page when it comes to the tempo and direction of your relationship, then yeah, there’s nothing wrong with keeping quiet about it for a while. But if you aren’t on the same page, keeping quiet and hoping the universe will change his mind or inspire him or whatever your motivation is, could be unhealthy and uneccessarily hard on you. Just concerned about you doing it for the right reason. That’s all.

Post # 4
Member
1088 posts
Bumble bee

I couldn’t make that resolution.  There was a time when I was talking about weddings and engagement and marriage almost non-stop.  I did have to censor myself for a while, but I realized that talking about a future together has been very healthy and rewarding for both of us.

Marriage, engagement, family, and future plans inevitably come up in conversation on somewhat of a regular basis.  Being on the same page in terms of when to get engaged/married/etc has been extremely reassuring for both of us.

Actually, SO has been watching a lot of wedding-related shows lately.  It’s kind of making me wonder.  I feel confident in saying that it’s about balance.  When I was bringing it up all the time, it wasn’t productive.  I think if I stopped talking about it all together, it wouldn’t be effective either.

 

Post # 5
Member
1212 posts
Bumble bee

Uggg this is my resolution this year. Bf said he can see himself proposing by our 5th anniversary. That’s exactly a year and a half from now (June 16). So I promised that I leave him alone until then. I figure if he’s FINALLY given me a timeline then there is absolutely no reason for me to bring it up right? But if June 16 2013 passes (the day I thought I’d be getting married, AAAARRRGGGG) and he hasnt proposed yet all bets are off and I will either nag that man into his grave or dump his ass.

Post # 6
Member
193 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: December 2015

Ditto on this one! I’ve been really good about not saying anything since my BFF told me SO bought the ring (mid Dec), but its been so hard! I have to keep reminding myself its in the works and to let things run there course. Not sure how long I’ll make it, but here’s to trying!

Post # 7
Member
1474 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2016

I’m stealing this one! I don’t have a resolution but I think this is a perfect one. Especially after my bf got kind of annoyed at me the other day for bringing up engagement.

We tease and annoy each other all the time…so I wanted to jokingly nudge him a little. I was watching one of those wedding shows on TV, and making funny (but kind of cruel comments that I would never make in public and didn’t really mean–don’t want to offend anyone on here) about the crazy looking or aesthetically challenged brides on TV. I was saying….”How is is that SHE’S getting a proposal from her man but I can’t get one?” In a joking/teasing way of course.

I hadn’t brought it up in a while and I’ve been doing really good! So I wanted to get in a few “jabs”. But I’m gonna stop mentioning it now for good…or at least until our timeline is up. I know he’s planning it and he kept saying, “I’m not cool with you bringing the proposal up. It’s gonna happen soon but it’s not like I’m gonna tell you when!” Hehe

Post # 8
Member
289 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

I kind of have this resolution. I talked non stop about getting married last year (my younger sister got married and it drove me a little bit insane) We got on the topic of marriage about a week ago and my SO asked for some space since its hardly going to be a surprise if I’m coming up with proposal scenarios on a weekly basis. LOL

Post # 10
Member
21 posts
Newbee

This was my original resolution this year; well, sort of.  I told my SO that my resolution was to be “more patient in the process of reaching life goals.”  He immediately said “this is about marriage, isn’t it?”  I told him that it partially was, and that I wanted to be more patient with waiting.  You know what he said?? “That’s a dumb resolution; you seriously need to pick another one.”

Well, here’s to hoping it was a “dumb resolution” because I won’t be waiting long enough for patience to matter this year!  (No offense meant to the OP/PP)

Post # 11
Member
1131 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Ha :). I don’t say the M word. I say the E word, and husband :P. 

Post # 12
Member
701 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I’m trying hard not to nag, but we are very pragmatic people and we talk about it a lot.. engagement, wedding planning, wedding, marriage, family, expenses, investments, future education blah blah blah. 

Not talking about things is like not breathing to us

Post # 13
Member
1131 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@mcklough: I feel the same way!

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