(Closed) Newbee with a dilemma

posted 7 years ago in Logistics
Post # 3
Member
1962 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I think you should weigh the pros and cons of each place. It sounds like you are leaning towards the area your Fiance is from for some good reasons (like his grandmother). Whatever you choose to do it has to be the right choice for YOU and nobody else. If you can’t afford to have the wedding where you grew up I’m sure your family will come to understand. If you do decide to have the wedding there is your mom willing to help you out with things that you can’t be there for? Hopefully some of the bees who have planned cross-country will see your post.

ETA: Oh I don’t know how visual you are, but making a chart for pros and cons always helps me. And have you told your Fiance about how important it is to have your friends there? Maybe you could do a small intimate wedding and a dinner at a nice restaurant for your families and then celebrate with a big party to share with your friends?

Post # 4
Member
1471 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

What about having a close “family-only” ceremony on the West Coast with FI’s family that his grandma can attend (with a nice dinner afterwards?), and a reception on the East Coast for your friends and family?

I planned long-distance, only traveling back twice before the month before the wedding (when we did move to our wedding location). It can be done, if that’s what you decide, but you will need your mom’s help.

Post # 5
Member
4485 posts
Honey bee

Generally, the couple marries where they live and everyone comes to them. You’d be amazed at how many folks have no issues whatsoever with travelling to where you are to see you get married, as it is quite common.

Post # 7
Member
1962 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I don’t think two ceremonies is nuts. If you have your official ceremony with his family you could do something fun and out of the box with your mom’s family. I don’t know if you were planning on a church wedding or not, but I can see how your Fiance might not want to do two church weddings. 

You two have plenty of time to talk things over and find out what’s best for you. Good luck!

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