(Closed) NewBee! Engaged without a proposal :)

posted 6 years ago in Proposals
Post # 3
Member
3265 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

Congrats and welcome to the Hive!

I know some ladies here have decided with their SO’s that it was just the right time to get engaged and start planning, so they did basically what you did. So no worries, you’re not alone! It was perfect for you two. 🙂

ETA: No advice really, except to maybe explain to your families that you’ve been together for 7 1/2 years and wanted it to be a mutual decision between you two rather than a traditional proposal. Hopefully, they’ll understand. More than likely they’ll just be delighted.

Post # 4
Member
2385 posts
Buzzing bee

I think there are plenty of people who have gotten engaged this way. Particularly ones who have been together an exceptionally long time like you and your Fiance have. I think that a proposal is a very personal thing, and you have to do it in a way that works for you, not in a way that works for anybody else. 

Post # 5
Member
513 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

@brittainy:  I didnt have a proposal either. We just picked out a ring, around Turkey Day last year. He gave it to me this past Cmas, and that was it. It doesn’t always have to be “storybook” to be special 🙂 Congrats and happy planning!

Post # 6
Member
1130 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

We did a very similar thing. We’d only been dating 2 years, but we decided together and I did not want a surprise proposal. He did get down on one knee when we got the ring, but it was just because he thought it would be cute. We, like you, thought it was just a decision we made together and I didn’t want an elaborate proposal at all!

Post # 8
Member
2286 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: Central Park

My FIand I got engaged this way, I brought up hand fasting and he suggested we get engaged. We bought a ring that afternoon and anounced it to our family that night. He did an ” official” proposal a few months later on our anniversary. 

Post # 9
Member
982 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2015

My cousin got engaged this way. She and her now husband discussed marriage and timing and simply decided it was time to start planning. She opted not to get an e-ring and they just exchanged wedding bands at their beautiful art gallery wedding. The whole process and wedding was very them.

Post # 10
Member
9954 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

First off, and most importantly… CONGRATULATIONS on your Engagement !!

And I see that you are fairly new to WBee… so a BIG Welcome to “the Hive” as well.

Truthfully,Hollywoodworthy Proposals are actually statistically FEW and far between

Altho there are still plenty of men who still get down on one knee… there may not be a ring, flowers, and a U-Tube worthy video as well.

If you stick around WBee, you’ll quickly see that there are many many women who get what I affectionately call “The Non-Proposal” (altho honestly… a Non-Proposal is just as much a Proposal as the Hollywood version… because ultimately the same thing happens… you and your guy have agreed to marry… and are on the road to planning a Wedding & future together. And WELL THAT IS ALL THAT MATTERS)

My Non-Proposal took place after 6-1/2 Years of Dating… and the fact that we had talked about getting married at some point in the future… and I had shared my LIFE PLAN… which I had done around the 6 Year mark (which women wanting to marry… are really encouraged to do here on WBee as men ARE NOT mind readers).

So the Non-Proposal went like this…

We were on vacation in Myrtle Beach, SC in April… we came out of the Hotel and were about to take a late afternoon walk on the beach…

In front of our Hotel, on the gorgeous expanse of beach we saw a couple taking their Wedding Day Photos… just the two of them (pretty obvious they had eloped).

Mr TTR said… “That looks like fun”

I said, “Really?”

He said, “Ya you should look into that for our next visit here”

And, that was it…

Lol, I ran with it for sure… doing Internet Research (“How to Get Married in Myrtle Beach”), and while he was golfing the next day, I was in a Mall checking out E-Rings (amazed at how much they’ve changed in the last 30 years).

To be honest, I was a tad confused when I came home after vacation tho … not 100% sure what to tell folks.  Because, my whole life I was under the impression that one wasn’t really engaged unless there was a ring (and it took us 6 Weeks to find the ring… and we did tell people we were “ring shopping”).

In reality, that isn’t true.

After returning home, in the interim (the time we spent ring looking), Mr TTR set up a meet with my Elderly Father, to tell him we planned to marry… and to ask for his Blessing.  That meant a lot to me… and was really really sweet !!

BUT having now been on WBee for many months, I’ve now changed my mind on what constitutes “a Proposal”… the truth is ring or not, when a guy asks you… you are engaged (plenty of gals get Proposals or Non-Proposals and a ring later… and some couples choosing not to have rings at all)

And that is what most Bees consider an Engagement to be… WHEN you BOTH decided to marry… Proposal / Non-Proposal… Ring or No-Ring.  It doesn’t really matter.

Hope this helps,

PS… When THE RING was found, I didn’t get much more of a grand-gesture then either.  We picked out the ring together… and he bought it.  And we picked it up 2 weeks later (after being sized etc).  He slipped it on my finger in the Jewellery Store and kissed me.  Lol, and it was very very CLEAR that we were Engaged, and proud of it … because he couldn’t stop telling people whenever we were out… “I’d say, well we did it… we got engaged”, and he’d say “Hon… show them the ring !!”  (Lol, he was very very proud of that ring).

And we celebrated a lot with friends & family (and together) once there was a ring… Drinks /Champagneat a favourite wine bar… Dinners out… and Mr TTR and I even booked a fancy hotel room for a weekend of R&R and pampering.  All of which were amazing !!

In reflection, I am one lucky girl and we are excited about planning our upcoming Christmas Holiday Elopement to a Destination Wedding and Honeymoon.  I couldn’t be happier.  And the NO STRESS of our Elopement in one of our favourite Destinations, with just the 2 of us saying our vows overlooking the Beach, will be awesome.  I cannot wait !!

PPS… For the record, my first Marriage had a Non-Proposal as well.  My Ex and I had talked about marriage in our last year of Uni.  With a timeline of getting engaged after we were out working for a few months.  Together, one day, late in the summer after Graduation, we dropped into a Jewellery Store one day on our lunch-hours from the office… picked out a ring.  And then made plans to go out for a Celebratory Dinner.  Again, no bended knee… no fancy proposal.  We were “just Engaged”

As for what to tell your friends… tell ’em the truth.  As you can see from this reply… LOVE is a wonderful thing, it doesn’t matter HOW it the Proposal comes… you’ll be radiant with happiness, and your friends & family will be happy for you.

 

Post # 11
Member
1404 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: February 2013

Great advice from my fellow bees. So I’ll just say welcome and congrats!

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