(Closed) NewBee here waiting!

posted 8 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
3587 posts
Sugar bee

Hi and welcome! 

I’ve been with my SO for 1yr and 6 months now. Hard as it is to believe, I’d known a few people meet and marry during our relationship, so I have some idea how you feel.

I hope your stay here is super short!

Post # 5
Member
1280 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

How old are you? It seems to be a trend for men to wait until 26 or 27 unless the woman is older. He may just be waiting till you are closer to having kids??

Moving in together can help and hurt depending on how open you are about what you expect. Have you talked to your man? 5 years is a long time and worthy of a future talk.

Post # 6
Member
8 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: September 2010

My fiance and I have been together for almost 5 years and are getting married in the fall.  I always knew we would get married but having to wait for him to ask you is just awful.  Be patient since putting any pressure on him takes much of the fun and excitement from the engagement.  If he is the right man for your future, then he will propose when he is ready otherwise you will have a very nervous finace on yoru hands and wedding planning that way is really no fun.  Good luck and stay strong!

Post # 8
Member
1280 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

I don’t think its unreasonable at 26 to want a more serious commitment. Especially after 5 years. Maybe he wouldn’t mind a long engagment? My guy is 28 and now and was 26 when we got together (I’m about to be 33) and I was upfront with him about what I needed.

He said wanted the same things but he did admit about 6 months ago when I talked to him that he wasn’t afraid to marry me but the idea of being a “husband” was a strange and scary new identity for him. Some men find these new roles scary. I told him that while I understood I needed him to start getting comfortable because I didn’t just want these things as an idea but as a reality. I also reassured him that being married wouldn’t mean hed have to stop being who he was. Infact it would make things more secure between us.

Now I’m almost certain ill be getting my proposal soon and he has the ring. Speak up. The sooner you put it on the table the sooner it will happen.

Post # 10
Member
79 posts
Worker bee

I understand where you are coming from.  Everyone seems to be going on with their lives and we are STUCK!  I’ve had two best friends get married had children and one is already divorced all within our relationship timeframe.  His best friend has been engaged TWICE.  Again, all within our relationship.  I’m tired of going to and being in everyone’s wedding but my own.  I don’t want to go another engagement party for the same person and not be engaged yet myself.  

All the signs point to us getting married.  I’m just not getting a proposal.  It can drive you nuts, then you drive him nuts about it.  It’s a vicious cycle and he is the only one who can put a stop to it.  He just won’t!!

My advise – try to stick it out as long as you can.  I’ve been with the my Boyfriend or Best Friend for almost 5 years.  Trust me, once we hit the 5 year mark, we will be having a long discussion if nothing as happened yet.

Post # 12
Member
79 posts
Worker bee

No problem.  It tears your heart out whenever you see someone else having their dreams come true.  Sometimes it’s just not fair!!

Post # 13
Member
3587 posts
Sugar bee

Hopefully it won’t be long! At 26, you’re at the perfect marrying age. To ME anyway, I always wanted to get married at 27, but that was when I was in college and just thinking of the future I would have.LOL I hadn’t even met my SO at 27!

Oh, make sure you add yourself to the waiting list!

Post # 14
Member
56 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

Hi! I just wanted to say welcome!!! I def understand !! I’m like in the same boat. I do think its good you guys are talking about it and he is receptive. I have come to realize guys are totally different from us in this matter!!! I get the whole feeling a tinge of jealousy when you hear of other ppl’s engagment esp when they have been together a shorter a period of time. But I’ve learned not to let it bother you. WHen its your time it will be great, and just for you. IN the meantime keep posting on the boards and having the great support from all the ladies here ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 15
Member
2496 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: January 1991

Welcome to the hive!! ๐Ÿ™‚

I know exactly what you mean.  My best friend and my sister are both getting married next weekend, and they started dating their FI’s after Boyfriend or Best Friend and I started dating.It sucks having to be patient, wait, and be happy for everyone else and you feel like it will NEVER be you.  Not fun.

But, as my Boyfriend or Best Friend likes to say, “we’re not living anyone else’s life.  This is our life, our choices, and what we’re doing right now is setting us up for an amazing life together.  If we chose the same path as someone else, our life might not be so great because we’re us and they are them.”  So true… yet so frustrating sometimes. ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 16
Member
79 posts
Worker bee

I can’t agree more..  Like I said before, we’ve seen many weddings, engagements, and births during our relationship.  But if you look at them closely.  One is already getting divorced and the other who has been engaged twice is determined to marry someone, no matter who it happens to be.  I can’t take that seriously.  They seem like they are so fake together.  you read these stupid lovey dovey posts to each other on Facebook that everyone can read.  It’s pathetic in my opinion.  Seems like he is trying to prove to everyone how much he loves this girl even though he loved his last fiance like a year ago.  My Boyfriend or Best Friend and I are not impressed.  We just rolled our eyes.  

Take a long, hard look at the relationships that seem to good to be true..  Usually they are!

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