(Closed) Newbee – Need advice!

posted 8 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
546 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

hiya!!

 

Welcome !! I’ll be boring – talk to him, my Fiance and I are getting married 9 months after we got engaged, we weren’t living together before hand – he’s a vicar and it would have been awkward, but when we got engaged we decided that it was better to find out now rather than later that we couldn’t live with each-others habits or whatever.

 

Just say to your Fiance, I really want to live with you, and the money we can save on rent or whatever can go towards the wedding!!!! Don’t go crazy – buy a plant, to keep you occupied – and plan your wedding, have fun!!!!!! you can start to look at dates and stuff – and gathering pictures in a shoe box for idea’s for a little closer to the time!!!

 

hope I helped!!!!!

 

good luck!!

x

Post # 4
Member
5 posts
Newbee

First, I SO understand how all-consuming and crazy the waiting can feel. So you’re not on your own. 

I agree w vicarswifeintraining–a conversation is probably the first step. What are the reasons you think he’s “not ready” to move in? Is it against his beliefs/values, or you think he just needs to mature & spend more time at home? Maybe just opening up and talking about it will get him thinking, and eventually acting. 

I have to say, though–I live with my wonderful boyfriend, and the wedding waiting is just as tough now as before…if not worse 🙂 

Good luck!

 

 

Post # 6
Member
1278 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

I would keep talking with him about this. Obviously living together before you get engaged is important to you – perhaps he doesn’t know just how much?

Could you compromise? Could you wait until the first year of school is over before you take the plunge? Obviously it seems like he is practically living there anyway, so if that is going to continue then it would only make sense to formalise the arrangement.

I would find out why it is exactly he doesn’t want to move in together now – if it is for money, well it isn’t fair that you keep paying all the rent and bills and he practically lives there for free.

If you are in this for the long haul, living together and adjusting to each others habits makes good sense! Nobody is perfect and I have found living with my boyfriend extremely helpful – it has made us realise that we will get married one day and that we can actually live together! I have had an ex that I lived with for a short while, and well, lets just say that is why we are now exes!

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