Post # 1
I love love love this site. I’ve been reading for a while, posted a couple times and decided that I triple loved this site. 🙂
I’ve been dating my Boyfriend or Best Friend for almost 2 years and while marriage has come up a couple times, it’s never been definite enough for me to say how long I’ve actually been waiting. We recently sat down and really had a talk about whether or not marriage was a hypothetical or something that could be possible down the road. He said it was possible and said if anything were to happen it would happen within 6 months to 2 years. So, here I am, hoping it’s not the latter. 🙂
But, figured it was time for an introduction so I wasn’t just some stranger commenting on random threads.
Anyone have any theories as to why someone would give such a wide timeline. I get that it’s kinda like the internet guy calling and saying he’ll be there anywhere between 9AM and midnight. I guess in my head, if my timeline extended out 2 years I would just say, it’s possible within a couple years. Not to overanalyze a potentially meaningless number, but, you think that means there’s a chance it could happen sooner than later?
Post # 3
Well I’m not a guy but the fact that he would say that 6 months is a possibility tells me he’s decided its you he wants to marry so don’t fret! He probably said 2yrs to give himself a buffer zone, so I would think it’ll happen in less than 2yrs.
Post # 4
@mxpinky: I agree- if he is saying 6 months, then he definitely knows your are the one. Probably saying two year just in case stuff comes up.
Post # 5
Yeah, the two years is maybe a “worst-case scenario” contingency. Everyone has something crazy that comes up to foil their well laid plans, so he might be planning being able to save for a ring or even a ceremony/honeymoon in a certain amount of time, but doesn’t want you to think he’s pulling you leg if you’re not engaged come June/July, and then leave him. Also, I’ve heard of people on this website with friends who get engaged right before their SO was going to ask, but then he felt he needed to give the other couple time to enjoy the spotlight as well as not wanting to look like his proposal was just spurred on by theirs – he wanted to keep it special and their scheduling threw him off.
Either way, it’s good that he was open with you, and didn’t just say 6 months, because it means, to me, he doesn’t want to disappoint you if something prevents it from happening then.
Post # 6
You know, I hadn’t thought of it from a buffer perspective. Sometimes you just have to hear things from someone else’s mouth. But it’s a really good point.
@Isilme: You know, his best friend got engaged last summer and they are getting married in April. I had wondered if maybe that was a consideration he had, but I didn’t know how important giving others the spotlight was to dudes. 🙂
Post # 7
@claireos: I think giving them the spotlight is more how we ladies think of it… I think for a guy, as my own Boyfriend or Best Friend said recently when we had EIGHT couples get engaged withint the last several months, he said that even if he had everything ready (with his debt, he doesn’t 🙁 ), he couldn’t do it right now because it’d look like he was just following a trend, making it less special in his mind, kind of like he’d just be following the other guys. Yay. Friends getting engaged/married has made him think/talk about it more (afer years of it being verboten), but also seems to lengthen the wait for me. Sigh.
If I were you, I’d try my very very best to not mention it too much, unless your guy can handle a “Oh, this is pretty” ring emails once every month or so, and try to just be happy knowing that he’s thinking about it, and most likely on a faster track for it than some other SOs of Bee ladies. (Whoops – that almost didn’t sound right)