Post # 1
had a funny moment with my bridesmaids yesterday. I’m needing to confirm my floral order soon, so I was asking them if they were ok with corsages instead of bouquets- to save money, and also because I think bouquets for BMs are kind of redundant. they just sit in a jar of water for the rest of the evening.
they both stared at me a moment, and then one asked, why would we be holding bouquets? then the other laughed and said she didn’t understand either. Neither of them knew that Bridesmaids typically hold bouquets!
i laughed, since they are both in their 30s but have never been married (both are single Moms with sociopathic, a$$hole exs) and never been in a bridal party.
Later on, I reminded them that my Mom was organizing my shower so they didn’t need to worry about that. same reaction- what, bridesmaids usually host the shower?
we had a good laugh and they are way more excited to plan my bachelorette so that’s good. they just don’t know how easy they’ve got it with me since I’m so laid back and not going all-out traditional in my plans or bridal party expectations! (sigh) funny.
Post # 3
It’s easy to forget that most people who aren’t planning weddings don’t have the vast wedding knowledge we do! I tried to make a joke about wedding stationary the other day, and no one got it cause I forgot this.
Post # 4
I remembered another funny- one Bridesmaid or Best Man asked me if she was allowed to invite people, her friends that I don’t really know! I kinda laughed it off, and said we’d have to see, but explained that no, normally the guests are invited only by the couple and their parents, but she was of course allowed a date. LoL!
we need to remind ourselves, since clearly brides grow to have expectations of their bridal party, that they might not know what’s involved when they say yes! they think it’s a show of your close friendship, unaware of everything else!
there’s been a lot of threads on here lately with brides unhappy with their BMs, but we must remember that we need to speak up and ask for what we want, and be clear from the beginning. expectations, etiquette, “traditions”… are all changing and vary with each person- so there’s no hard and fast rules anymore.
Post # 5
Well, since bridesmaids are not required to host pre-wedding parties (although it is nice if they offer) then perhaps they had never hosted one in any other weddings they had been in.
I think newly engaged brides need to also think about their expectations and whether or not they are reasonable ones. It is reasonable to think someone might throw a pre-wedding party for you, for example. It is unreasonable to demand one.
Post # 6
@futuremrsfitz18: well hosting pre-wedding parties ARE typically done by the Bridesmaids, but not always. that’s kind of my point. things are so different now, so we all must be clear with what we expect and want from our bridal parties.
especially in my case, as a first-time bride with first-time bridesmaids. I’m doing all the research online on how to throw and plan a wedding, be a great bride to your friends and learning what’s expected of ME, but i’m pretty sure they aren’t online looking up how to be a fabulous bridesmaid! haha…