(Closed) Newbie ready to share her story….

posted 8 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Hostess
18641 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

Welcome to weddingbee!  Waiting is so stressful but it seems to me like he is giving you hints about wanting to get engaged.  I would try to keep quiet about it because some guys like to completely suprise their girlfriend with a proposal and don’t want her to be expecting it.

Post # 4
Member
2681 posts
Sugar bee

Welcome!!  I think since you are saving money for a house that his concern about not having the money is legitimate.  Maybe you could talk to him and see about getting an idea of getting engaged after you have a house, or making it a longer engagement to save money for the house and then having a wedding. 

Post # 6
Hostess
18641 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

I know it’s tough!  My husband drove me completely crazy.  He was planning to propose on a trip we were going on but we got in a fight and I got sick so we didn’t go on the trip.  So he didn’t propose until we rescheduled the trip a year later and he tortured me the whole time!

Post # 7
Member
1280 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

To me buying a house together before being engaged is kind of the cart before the horse. I just don’t understand. I know you said you refuse to say anything and you are young enough that I think you have time to wait longer if you’d like but I wouldn’t buy a house with someone without an engagement. Just me. I hope its coming soon. A house is a huge commitment.

Then, to be fair, so is a pet and my bf and I had one after 3 months. So follow your gutt.

Post # 8
Member
41 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: September 2011

Hi mrs WWB–

I know exactly how you feel.  I just got engaged last month after being together 2.5 years.  I bugged him-annoyed him-dropped hints and i was completely obnoxious about it…I don’t suggest you do what I did lol!

We would discuss it calmy, he even asked me to pick out rings, and then he would flip flop and have EVERY excuse in the book on why we couldn’t get married..financial, etc…

All the while, he was searching, saving and customizing a ring for me.  I eventually just didn’t say anything, didnt bring it up and boom, he proposed…

the night he proposed he took me to a fancy restaurant and i was so upset because i thought”this was the night”..and after dessert came..i picked a huge fight with him because i was sick of waiting…all the while the RING WAS IN HIS POCKET…after dinner, he took to me to the top of the empire state building and proposed.

the point of this story is…you really have no idea what he is planning or what his plans are…he may be throwing you for a loop…iknow it sucks but you have to be patient and don’t do what i did….you made it clear YOU are ready..let him make his move.

Post # 9
Member
67 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

Welcome to the bad, mad, sad and exciting world of waiting.  Be prepared for countless hours designing rings, addiction to wedding boards, sleepless nights and endless taunts/teasers. 

This is the most supportive group of gals you will ever meet.  Especially since your friends will quit listening and stop understanding:)

I am crossing my fingers for you!

Post # 10
Member
3587 posts
Sugar bee

Hi and welcome! Hope your stay here is short!

Post # 11
Member
173 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

welcome. ppl get to the point of wanting to get married at different times.i;ve been with my SO 3.6yrs now.live togther for 2.3yrs.and he has had a ring sitting in a safety deposit box for probabbly two yrs.and yes on some days it drives me crazy and every chance i get i remind him how he tortures me.he keeps telling me soon but i just roll my eyes.he also says he has somthing really speacial planned and he hopes i see how much he loves me when everything is revealed.i kn he has not come through in the past,but i have faith that one day soon will come to an end.all i can advise is if u love him and its a good relationship.give him time and hopefully he’ll get to where he needs to be so u guys can both get what u want.best of luck to u.

bird

Post # 12
Member
1278 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

I hear ya on the waiting! It is frustrating and annoying and some days can really get you down. Right from the start I was ready to get married to my guy… and we have done what you are doing – buying the house first, then the engagement and the rest. It isn’t for everyone, but for us it made the most financial sense.

I hope your wait isnt too long! At least he is talking about it and you just have to trust that it will happen!

Post # 12
Member
1278 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

I hear ya on the waiting! It is frustrating and annoying and some days can really get you down. Right from the start I was ready to get married to my guy… and we have done what you are doing – buying the house first, then the engagement and the rest. It isn’t for everyone, but for us it made the most financial sense.

I hope your wait isnt too long! At least he is talking about it and you just have to trust that it will happen!

Post # 13
Member
7 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: November 1999

In my heart, your story is a little sad but full of love and moving. You are a strong and brave woman. I beleive you will get your true love and be a lucky dog! Best wishes for you!

Post # 14
Member
92 posts
Worker bee

Totally know what you’re going through!  We’re saving for a house too and really makes it hard to find the money to get engaged/married.  My SO is 29 too and you think they’d start to hear the clock ticking!

Hang in there, this board is great to vent whenever you feel frustrated.

Post # 15
Member
384 posts
Helper bee

I know how you’re feeling – believe me.  You came to the right place.  My SO and I are coming up on 2 years in October.   I am doing the same thing..not mentioning the “M” word. We have discussed living together (at my house) and he talks in terms of future and we.  But, it is frustrating not knowing if/for sure/when they’ll propose.  At the same time, I want it to be a surprise.  I like the way you listed the milestones in your relationship.  Just for the fun of it, I want to list ours:

 

1 – met each other’s families – adored by all.

2 – also survived all the seasons ( I loved this one ).  Been together 1 year and 8 months. 

3 – been on vacation together and planning a second vacation 

4 – he buys “stuff” for my house for long term use – does all my yard work

5 – WE LOVE each other

So – shoot!!  I’m ready for the engagement.  Would like to get married next year.  But this girl could definitely stand a ring!!!

I hope hope hope you get yours soon.  Best of luck. 

 

 

 

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