(Closed) Newly divorced parents bringing dates to the wedding…

posted 6 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
2286 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: Central Park

Your parents will probably want their new partners there for emotional support. They may be less likely to fight in front if their dates. 

Post # 4
Member
1227 posts
Bumble bee

If they are paying for it, you really can’t tell them that they can’t bring someone.

 

Post # 5
Member
903 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

@eraff32:  I’m sorry, this sounds really tough. I understand that you’re still mourning the loss of what you thought your parents’ relationship was, but they aren’t really “newly” divorced anymore. By the time your wedding comes around it will have been two years. I know it’s strange and even sad to see them with other people after they were with each other for so long, but it will have to happen eventually.

My advice would be to spend some time with each of them and their partners before your wedding. I don’t think you’d want the first time you really meet their new SOs to be at your wedding, and if you get to know them before, you might feel more comfortable and even like them! I don’t think it would be fair to tell them they can’t bring their partners, especially if they’re helping with the wedding, and I do think it would be healthier to start getting used to them being with other people. *hugs* I’m sorry you’re dealing with this!

Post # 6
Member
6015 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: March 2012

I think you should talk to each of them individually.  Who knows they may NOT want to bring whomever they are dating.  I mean I assume their brothers/sisters and their own parents will be there, it might be overwhelming for a new person to meet the entire family plus their soon to be ex long term spouse all at once.  Just a thought. 

ETA: my mom passed away a long time ago and my dad had started dating and living with a woman, who I intimidate and she used the ” i can’t take off work” excuse to avoid meeting the rest of my extended family.  She’s a wackjob tho but at least I didn’t have to come up with somewhere to stick her.

Post # 8
Member
5423 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 2012

Its rough since they are paying.  Maybe sit down with them separately, explain how it makes you feel.  They may understand and comply.  There’s a chance they may not though.

Post # 11
Member
903 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

@eraff32:  Yikes, that back and forth can be really difficult on everyone involved. I hope this all works out in a way that makes you happy on your wedding day and overall!

Post # 12
Member
155 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I’m going to give you a little perspective. My parents were still together at christmas. I thought they were happy and that things were good. flash forward 2 months and now their going through an ugly divorce and are both already seeing other people. I’ve already met and had dinner with my dad’s new girlfriend. I’m an adult. I realize that the divorce isn’t about me and I want my parents to be happy. They are both welcome to bring dates to my October wedding. Especially if your parents are paying it is incredibly rude for you to tell them they can’t bring their new significant others.

Post # 13
Member
155 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I do have to ask how old you are. Your posts sound very young to me. I don’t mean that to be offensive but it might make me understand your reaction to your parents divorce better.

 

Post # 14
Member
1466 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

@eraff32:  That stinks! My Parents got divorced when I was really little so I don’t know the exact feeling. However I do know that when my parents started dating other people they behaved WAY better in public around each other. I totally understand why you may not want their dates there. 

Post # 15
Member
2335 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

@Scc6a:  +1 to meeting their new SO’s before the wedding.  Definitely.

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