(Closed) Newly engaged and stressed out

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
23597 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2011

@MrsCamel:  Hi and welcome to weddingbee! I think the name of the game is compromise – planning a wedding is tough, and it’s about jumping through a lot of loopholes and finding solutions that everyone will be happy with.  OR of course, there’s always just pulling the “it’s our wedding everyone else butt out” card! πŸ™‚ That worked for me too. haha. Between you and your fiance, I do agree with you – where you feel like you can cut costs, you should.  Men would usually rather pay for things to get done than exert the energy to do them, so that sounds perfectly normal to me. πŸ™‚  Good luck with your planning and congrats on your engagement!

Post # 5
1652 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

Welcome! It all works out in the end πŸ™‚ I know it’s daunting to start with. Try to relax and enjoy it. Everyone will have opinions so try to follow your heart. Also I think the key things to budget for are catering, drinks, dress, venue, and photography.

Post # 6
3357 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

for some reason I read that was “newly married and stressed out” and was like what ARE you stressing about?! LOL!

I think you should really sit with him and go over a proper budget. I don’t think he has any real idea how fast everything adds up!

Post # 7
2457 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Two weeks and already stressed! I’m so sorry. πŸ™ 

As these other lovely ladies have told you, it’s really a compromise game. Sit down with your Fiance and really talk finances, what is important to both of you, and come to some agreements. 

As much as you don’t want to wait, it may be better to give yourselves more time so that you’re not doing wedding planning at the same time as a sibling, but also so that you can maybe save up some money and ease the financial burden a little bit. 

Post # 8
306 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@StephieBee:  this is right on the money- and very well said. 

A good tip to remember as well is that if you dont want to wait until december, what about a Fall wedding? (oct/Nov?) 

These are off-peak times and can save you a bundle on just about all of your Key expenses. 

Post # 9
3572 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

Honestly, I would wait until december.  If his sister is getting married this summer, his whole family will be coming to your wedding right after.  YOu said hers will be lavish, yours wont.  You are still in college, there shouldn’t be a rush to the altar.  Plus it gives your family more time to get their finances in order. 

Post # 10
195 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

Welcome to the Bee! This is a wonderful community where you will get a lot of great advice and feedback from the wonderful ladies (and sometimes gents)! And congratulations on your engagement!

You mentioned that you want engagement photos done but no money for a professional photographer. Photogs can be very expensive, so I compltely understand your concern.

Fiance and I are planning to do our engagement photos in the summer. We got engaged last month, and waiting for the good weather and June flowers so we can take the photos at our favorite park. There is a rose garden in the park, and it is the most beautiful in June, late July.

I’m also quite frugal when it comes to spending. I’d much rather do a little research and save a little money!

Some options for you to consider:

– Contact your local college which has a photography program. See if any of the students are looking to expand their portfolio. You might find a student who is interested in doing an engagement shoot! In most cases this will be very cheap, or even free, as you’re also helping the young photographer with their portfolio. The only downside is, you might end up with un-professional looking photos, because they’re still in training. But hat’s a chance you’ll have to take. If it’s free, you have absolutely nothing to lose. Besides, it would be fun to dedicate half a day to pose with your Fiance during the photo shoot πŸ™‚


– Check online for websites like http://www.onespout.com, http://www.wagjag.com, http://www.groupon.com, etc. There are many websites that offer discounted prices for dozens of services! That’s how I do my Yoga classes. I find deals online, for example “20 Hot Yoga classes for $30”, and I grab it while its hot! Just recently I saw on http://www.onespout.com, that there was a photography service, something along the lines of “4 hrs of on-site/off-site shoot, 20 re-touched photos in print, others on DVD, $49″…good deal, no?

Check it out! Have a great time planning your wedding πŸ™‚ Don’t stress too much ok?


Post # 11
1651 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I’m reading a lot of expectations from his family’s side – you mentioned his family expects a lavish wedding, and your fiance is taking cues from his sister’s wedding. Are his parents helping to pay for your wedding? If not, then why should they have a say over how lavish your wedding should be?

Take some time to sit down and talk with your fiance and make it a values-based conversation. What do the two of you value in life and in each other and are those values being applied consistently in your wedding? If not, then why not? Why does your fiance want certain things in the wedding? Maybe there are some things that personally mean a lot to him, and maybe you can include it, just not at the high price tag. Also, are you listening to people whose opinions really shouldn’t matter? Show your fiance how much your parents can afford and price out everything. Once everything is laid out clearly then you can make a strong, level headed decision that isn’t driven by emotion or stress.

Then divide up the tasks between you. You know how many hours you have each week for schoolwork, you know how much you have to dedicate to wedding planning. If it’s not realistic to finish planning by July, consider postponing or just be realistic and cut the things you don’t need.

In the end all you need is love and vows to be married. Your friends and family who truly care about you should be there no matter what, lavish wedding or no, well planned or no, that shouldn’t matter.


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