(Closed) Newly engaged brother planning wedding for week after mine

posted 4 years ago in Family
Post # 31
Member
3525 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2018

I think people on this site tend to forget that you can be thrilled for them as people, and still think their decision is extra dumb. 

I’d be annoyed, especially since it sounds like they aren’t thinking of your family at all and you’ll have to delay your honeymoon.

Post # 32
Member
9436 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2016

I’d be very annoyed. And I would let them know I can’t be there as I’ll be on my honeymoon. Thier bad planning is not your problem and no I wouldn’t delay my honeymoon because they are making a dumb decision about thier date. It’s not about needing the spotlight, it’s about this being logistically a stupid decision.

Post # 34
Member
125 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2018

Have you talk to him about it? Sometimes people just don’t think things through and it’s not even because they haven’t been to weddings, they just don’t realise all the logistic and the problems that can go on behing curtains.

For example : I think I’ve been to maximum 2 weddings in my life and I was too young to remember them and my Fiance went to a tons of wedding. Well, I swear to God, he thought that the morning of the wedding, we’d wake up around 10, go eat breakfast together, and then come back and start getting ready for the ceremony that starts at 3 (we want to sleep in the same hotel room the day before the wedding and then get ready in different rooms).

So maybe once they hear your concerns about the day they’ll be willing to reconsider?

Post # 37
Member
547 posts
Busy bee

I think this might be resolved by a heart to heart.  I suspect he and his future bride have not thought all the logistics on this through.

And I wouldn’t be angry about the spotlight at all, people get married all the time and your get one day, but I would be angry that this could have a negative impact on attendance and ability to fully participate in both weddings.

Post # 38
Member
1409 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

Does he realize that this will probably mean that family will be able to attend your wedding but not his?  

Post # 39
Member
7266 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2016

I’d be fine with him planning a wedding to take place after mine. I’d feel differently if he’d tried to set the date for a week before. I think it would be interesting and fun to be planning a wedding at the same time as my brother. But then, my brother is fucking awesome so pretty much any opportunity to do things with him are interesting and fun. 🙂

Given the additional details you shared, I’d be concerned about the logistics and I’d give him a heads up about the potential challenges but I’d also probably leave them to figure out, for themselves, if they wanted to adjust the dates to accommodate those logistical issues.

Post # 40
Member
217 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2018

Yes it saves them a plane ticket, but I highly doubt that most guest will be willing to stay an extra week for them so it forces guest to make a choice which wedding they will attend.  Not a great idea in my book.

Post # 41
Member
5 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: August 2018

My brother is renewing his vows 2 days before my wedding. As long as they make it to our wedding it is fine with me.

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