Post # 31
I think people on this site tend to forget that you can be thrilled for them as people, and still think their decision is extra dumb.
I’d be annoyed, especially since it sounds like they aren’t thinking of your family at all and you’ll have to delay your honeymoon.
Post # 32
I’d be very annoyed. And I would let them know I can’t be there as I’ll be on my honeymoon. Thier bad planning is not your problem and no I wouldn’t delay my honeymoon because they are making a dumb decision about thier date. It’s not about needing the spotlight, it’s about this being logistically a stupid decision.
Post # 33
They want this date because they live out of state and want to have their wedding in our home state. They figure they will already be out here (for my wedding) so this way it will save them a plane ticket. Take that as you will. He is my younger brother and hates drama and complications. I fully plan on having a heart to heart. I have a feeling that they are just super excited and don’t really understand all aspects of planning this would complicate. I am trying not to stress cause I have a feeling if he knows my thoughts on it he would respect that. It’s hard cause I don’t know his fiancé well so I’m not trying to rock the boat. I’ve heard through the grapevine that they were also thinking August of the same year, so I’m going to encourage that Lol
Post # 34
Have you talk to him about it? Sometimes people just don’t think things through and it’s not even because they haven’t been to weddings, they just don’t realise all the logistic and the problems that can go on behing curtains.
For example : I think I’ve been to maximum 2 weddings in my life and I was too young to remember them and my Fiance went to a tons of wedding. Well, I swear to God, he thought that the morning of the wedding, we’d wake up around 10, go eat breakfast together, and then come back and start getting ready for the ceremony that starts at 3 (we want to sleep in the same hotel room the day before the wedding and then get ready in different rooms).
So maybe once they hear your concerns about the day they’ll be willing to reconsider?
Post # 35
And yes, we are really ahead of the game so every vendor is booked with a signed contract and about half the wedding is already paid in full on our side. So no wiggle room here lol We are both planning big weddings with all extended family so we will have the same guest lists.
Post # 36
@mtlgirl That’s what I am crediting it to. I am not taking this personally because he is young and the first of his friends to get married. I am the first in our family to be engaged. So he doesn’t have any wedding experience as an adult. I am a bit surprised that his fiancé who is older than I, the last in her family to marry, and has stood for multiple friends would not think that this isn’t the best idea. :/
Post # 37
I think this might be resolved by a heart to heart. I suspect he and his future bride have not thought all the logistics on this through.
And I wouldn’t be angry about the spotlight at all, people get married all the time and your get one day, but I would be angry that this could have a negative impact on attendance and ability to fully participate in both weddings.
Post # 38
Does he realize that this will probably mean that family will be able to attend your wedding but not his?
Post # 39
I’d be fine with him planning a wedding to take place after mine. I’d feel differently if he’d tried to set the date for a week before. I think it would be interesting and fun to be planning a wedding at the same time as my brother. But then, my brother is fucking awesome so pretty much any opportunity to do things with him are interesting and fun. 🙂
Given the additional details you shared, I’d be concerned about the logistics and I’d give him a heads up about the potential challenges but I’d also probably leave them to figure out, for themselves, if they wanted to adjust the dates to accommodate those logistical issues.
Post # 40
Yes it saves them a plane ticket, but I highly doubt that most guest will be willing to stay an extra week for them so it forces guest to make a choice which wedding they will attend. Not a great idea in my book.
Post # 41
My brother is renewing his vows 2 days before my wedding. As long as they make it to our wedding it is fine with me.