(Closed) Newly engaged… So stressed about bridemaids & MOH. Please help!

posted 5 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
46595 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@Ready4TheKnot:  What is it you expect of your bridal party? The only thing they are obligated to do is get the dress and show up to the wedding. Everything else is optional.

I know at least 6 of my BM’s will not change.

How many are you having?

Why 3 Maids of Honor? Or, are some of them Matrons of Honor?



Post # 4
794 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2014

Personally, I think having more than 1 Maid/Matron of Honor completely negates the “specialness” of the role. Simply being asked to be a Bridesmaid or Best Man is an honor, so I would try to pick one Maid/Matron of Honor and ask the other girls to just be BMs.  Are the other two you are considering for the role your close friends?  Honestly, my advice would be to think long and hard about who you want responsible for the speech at the wedding, helping to organize showers, bachelorette parties and other celebrations, and who you trust to help you with things when you get overwhelmed.  If your cousin can fill those roles, ask her to be the Maid/Matron of Honor.  If not, ask one of your other close friends.   

Post # 5
12247 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2013

I would probably have her as a regular Bridesmaid or Best Man as opposed to a Maid/Matron of Honor. Especially if she’s got a lot of stuff going on in her life right now!

Post # 6
11418 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2009

I’ve seen two maids/matrons of honor a number of times and had two in my own wedding.  However, I’ve never seen three, and I agree with a prior poster that having three maids/matrons of honor may seem a bit excessive.  I would ask her to be a bridesmaid but place her closest to your second maid of honor in terms of where she stands in your “line” of bridesmaids at the wedding.  This should give her a good idea that you consider your relationship with her to be very close.

Post # 9
46595 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@Ready4TheKnot:  Why do you “have to have 7”? Are you having that huge a wedding?

Post # 12
8695 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2013

I dont get it.

1. You JUST got engaged and are already stressed over the bridesmaids which leads me to believe your expectations of them will be high so you may be disappointed.

2. Why THREE MOHs? I wouldnt like to be 1 of 3.

3. What does she need to help you plan? I only asked my bridesmaids to buy their dresses, wear their hair in some sort of updo, and show up on time for my wedding. Anything else they wanted to do was a BONUS. My Maid/Matron of Honor is a single mother of 3 kids. SHe didnt help plan anything, wasnt at my bachelorette, and couldnt do many other things. I wouldnt have had anyone else because she was/is special to me.

Post # 13
177 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

Pulling her weight how?  What are you asking her to do?

Post # 14
2208 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I strongly recommend not selecting your bridesmaids until you’ve decided your wedding date for certain, and are less than 9 months away from your wedding day. Selecting them too soon sometimes makes you pick or make girls Maid/Matron of Honor that you end of not wanting in that position. Just my advice.

Post # 15
6574 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

@mrscross1020:  +1 I know all too many people who choose their bridal party too early and regret it later.


@Ready4TheKnot:  I don’t think it’s anything worth stressing about. You just got engaged. That aside, what do you mean by “pulling their weight”? Their job ends at buying the dress and showing up. There is not anything else they are obligated to do, so I’m not sure what there is to be stressed about.

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